How can you begin talking about sex with your spouse?
Sex in Marriage
Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage
There are many Christians who feel uncomfortable with their sexuality. Juli explores possible reasons why and advises on how to overcome it.
Q&A: Why can’t I orgasm?
Juli answers a Q&A about orgasm.
#516 Don’t Skip Foreplay! (and Other Advice from a Christian Sex Therapist)
Christian sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma helps married couples overcome common obstacles faced when building a thriving, holy sex life.
#515 Is Attraction Sinful? Unpacking Attachment, Safety, Love and Desire
Hannah Nitz joins Juli for a conversation all about attraction and desire.
How to Bridge the Gap in Mismatched Libidos in Marriage
Juli expands on a popular episode with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn all about how couples can bridge the sexual desire gap.
Q&A: Why Don’t I Like Sex?
Why might a woman not enjoy sex?
#504 Painful Intercourse, Fake Orgasms, And Aging Sex: Answers To The Most Popular Sex Questions
Juli is joined by Dr. Jennifer Degler and Dr. Michael Sytsma in providing biblical, practical answers to questions about married sex.
#503 Lies, Pornography and Sex Addiction Almost Ended Their Marriage, Now They Help Others Find Hope
How do porn and sex addiction really affect a family?
Sexual Entitlement: What it is and Why it is Ruining Your Marriage
Yes, God created sex for marriage, but did He promise it to us?
#502 How to Understand and Overcome the Challenges of Postpartum Sex
Sex after pregnancy is radically different from sex before or during. Pelvic floor therapist Heather Marra and Dr. Jennifer Degler weigh in.
3 Reasons Why “Faking It” is Making Your Bad Sex Life Even Worse
While faking climax or sexual enjoyment may seem like a solution when you don’t like sex, it’s not a healthy long-term strategy. Here’s why.
#500 Sex, Faith and Family: Conversations Every Couple Should Have Pre-Marriage
Are you ever really ready for marriage? Are there certain conversations couples should have prior to engagement? Scott Kedersha weighs in.
#494 Purity Culture, Men and Sexual Entitlement
The purity narrative failed men too. Noah Filipiak unpacks some of the harmful ideas passed on to men in an effort to protect purity.
Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?
How do you know if your spouse is repentant after a betrayal?
5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband’s Porn Problem
Juli challenges wives to reject blame and consider biblical teaching on responding to the painful sins of those we love.
Q&A: How Often Is ‘Normal’ for Having Sex Within Marriage?
How can you know if you’re having sex enough in marriage?
#454 Mismatched in Sexual Desire? You May Be Closer Than You Think
If you’re married and experiencing huge gaps between your level of sexual desire and your spouse’s, this special re-air episode is for you.
4 Lies the Movies Told Us About Sex and The Truths You Need to Know
Have you learned and adopted more beliefs about sex from the movies than you realize?
#484 Duty Sex, Feeling Objectified, and Other Reasons Women Don’t Enjoy Sex in Marriage
J Parker and Bonny Burns, hosts of “Sex Chat for Christian Wives”, provide biblical, practical insight on challenges wives face in marriage.
#480 How to Heal and Rebuild Trust and Sexual Intimacy After An Affair
Why do people cheat? And is it possible to reconcile after you or your spouse has been unfaithful? Juli is joined by Jessica McDaniel, LPC.
#479 More Than Just Behavior: Why Your Struggles With Sexual Sin Run Deeper Than You Think
What if facing your sexual struggles could lead to deeper healing? Juli and Jay Stringer, LMHC, talk about his research on desire.
Q&A: Is It Possible For The Woman to Be The Higher Drive Partner?
Are husbands always the higher desire partners?
Q&A: Is It My Responsibility to Meet My Spouse’s Sexual Needs?
Is it your responsibility to meet your spouse’s sexual needs?
#473 Repentance, Redemption, and Revolution: How to Accept the Invitation of Godly Sexuality
What does it actually look like to accept the invitation to reclaim God’s design for sexuality in your life? Is the path straight, wide, and flat, or narrow, bumpy, and full of twists and turns? In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli hosts guests Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution as they discuss their polar-opposite experiences embracing their sexuality as God intended.
Q&A: Past Sexual Trauma Inhibits My Ability to Enjoy Sex. Is There Hope That I Can Ever Heal?
When trauma is in your past, is sexual enjoyment possible?
Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Looking at Porn?
What do you do when you discover your spouse watches porn?
#465 Love Dares: Using Playfulness to Build Sexual Intimacy
If you’re a husband or wife who finds sex dull or monotonous, it may be time for you to revisit the way God designed marital sex. The truth is that God desires for you to enjoy building sexual intimacy with your spouse, not just endure it. In this podcast episode, Juli and guest Dr. Jennifer Degler talk about how God gives the gift of sexual play to couples, and the practical (and fun!) ways you can connect with your spouse.
Q&A: How Do I Learn to Trust My Spouse Again After an Affair?
How do you learn to trust again when your spouse has had an affair?
Q&A: Is Sex Necessary For Intimacy?
Is sex necessary for intimacy?
Q&A: We Have Sex Regularly, but My Husband Never Seems Satisfied. What Do I Do?
What do you do if your spouse never seems satisfied with the sex you’re having?
Q&A: What If I’m Not Attracted to My Spouse Anymore?
What do you do if you’re no longer attracted to your spouse?
Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!
My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it. My wife and I got married about...
#457 How To Build a Flourishing (not Flawless) Sex Life You’ll Both Love
Take the guess work out of your sex life and learn how to tell (or show) your spouse what feels good in the bedroom.
Q&A: Sex Has Never Been Pleasurable in Our Marriage. Should I Just Fake It?
If you don’t enjoy sex, should you just fake it?
Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples?
It isn’t uncommon for us to receive questions from married couples asking about a normal frequency for sex. Should they have sex once a week, twice a week, or every day?! We understand that it can be challenging for two people with different levels of desire for sex...
Q&A: Is Sending Nudes and Homemade Porn Okay if We’re Married?
What’s okay to do sexually in marriage?
#443: Is Your View of Sex and Marriage Gift-worthy?
When marriage is simply about getting our needs met, we end up playing whack-a-mole with symptoms of sin and brokenness that pop up...
#439: Pelvic Floor Health 101 (It’s About More Than Just Sex)
Nearly 3 out of 4 women experience pain during or after sex. If that's you, we have good news: a pelvic floor therapist can help....
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3
One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2
Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body. Sex,...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1
“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...
#263: Experiencing Sexual Pleasure, Part 2
In part two of this conversation, you'll hear about the other two legs of the "sexual desire triangle" and go from getting your body...
#262: Experiencing Sexual Pleasure, Part 1
Unlike most men (who always seem to be in the mood, always climax, and never experience pain), sexual pleasure can be a mystery to...
#421: “God, Sex, and Your Marriage”-Juli Answers Your Questions
You're starting to see how sexual intimacy is a reflection of covenant love. But what does that actually look like in your sex...
#420: Bonus! What Redemption and Sexual Intimacy Look Like in Real Life
Sex was nothing like what they were told it was going to be. She felt pain. He felt guilt. Together, they're on a journey toward...
#419: Why Sexual Intimacy is About So Much More Than Just Having Sex
Are you working from the wrong understanding of what makes a great sex life? Find out in this...
#418: What Is Sexual Intimacy Supposed To Look Like in Marriage?
Imagine that you and your spouse are building a jigsaw puzzle, but you don’t know what the picture on the front of the box looks...
How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy
As Roy and Stacy listened to their pastor teach on I Corinthians 7, they began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. “Paul is saying here that a wife is to meet her husband’s sexual needs. If she doesn’t, he may be tempted to seek sex outside of their relationship.”...
#214: Answers To Your Questions About Sex, with Dr. Juli Slattery & Linda Dillow
Is it “dirty” to dress up for your husband in the bedroom? Is it wrong to masturbate if your husband can’t have sex? What if your...
What To Wear in the Bedroom?
Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...
#410: Sexual Abuse in Marriage and How To Help a Hurting Wife
Sexual abuse in marriage... wait. What? Doesn't the Bible say a spouse "has authority" over the other's body? Let's talk practically...
3 Ways That Loving Your Body Builds Intimacy in Marriage
As I stood in front of the mirror, I counted the number of scars displayed across my stomach, splattered across my belly like a toddler with a crayon. How could I ever feel beautiful again, let alone sexy? My thoughts were interrupted as my husband came up behind me...
#406: Every Couple Has a Sexual Dance. What Does Yours Say About You?
Sex therapist Dr. Mike Sytsma says that when a couple tells him how they kiss or how they make love, he can tell them...
Is There Really Such a Thing as “Comfort Sex”?
Our guest today is Francie Winslow. Francie hosts the weekly Heaven in Your Home podcast where she offers fresh, biblical ways of thinking about married sex and what it reveals to us about God. We just endured a brutally exhausting Christmas break. We had high...
3 Ways To Make Sexual Intimacy a Priority in Your Marriage
It’s often said, “Show me your calendar, and I’ll tell you what is important to you.” There are a lot of things we say are important to us but end up taking a back seat to busyness and the distractions that clamor for our attention. Intimacy in marriage is usually one...
#394: Debt-free in the Bedroom: How To Heal From Sexual Pain
Have you experienced sexual trauma? Were you betrayed in marriage? Are there sexual choices from your past that...
#390: Have You Given Up On Sexual Enjoyment and Pleasure?
Are you resigned to the idea that God must have created sex for your husband, but not for you? Juli and her guest, Dr. Debra Taylor,...
#387: Life, Intimacy and Loving Your Body After Breast Cancer & Reconstruction
Kim Harms was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after her fortieth birthday. In this episode, Juli grabs...
#379: Is Your Love Life All That You Want It To Be?
Is this really all there is? If you’ve ever felt this way about your sex life, you’re not alone. In this...
Sexual Attraction Isn’t as Important as You Think, Here’s Why
Within the past few months, several different people have posed questions to me about the importance of sexual attraction. - A young woman asked, “I am in a dating relationship with a great guy. We connect on a lot of levels, but I’m not sexually attracted to him....
#373: How We Beat a Porn Addiction in Our (Millennial) Marriage
When Clinton and Charity Muñoz sought help to overcome a porn addiction, Clinton was told to memorize more...
#36: What Kind of Love Are You Making?
If there is one place in the Bible that gives women permission to have fun, to explore and to enjoy sexual pleasure, it’s the poetic...
Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 2
Overcoming Physical Barriers to Pleasure Part 2 in this webinar series Meet Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN. She has over 28 years of experience and a passion help women understand how their bodies are integrated with their minds, spirits, and emotions. In this webinar,...
Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 1
The Priority of Mutual Pleasure in Healthy Sex Part 1 in this webinar series Juli and Dr. Debra Taylor, a certified Christian sex therapist, discuss the importance of pleasure within the larger picture of sexual intimacy, and how the pleasure we experience during sex...
Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 3
Saying "Yes!" to Sexual Pleasure Part 3 in this webinar series In the final webinar in our series, Dr. Jennifer Degler brings her humor, candor, and expertise to help you understand how to get your brain and your body working together so that you can share the kind of...
7 Ways We Unknowingly Sabotage Intimacy in Our Marriages
This is part two of a three-part series from, "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited.”* A wife’s greatest dilemma is that you want your husband to lead, but you want him to lead the way you tell him to. There is a tension between desperately wanting to...
#368: Aging Bodies Can Still Enjoy Sexuality. Are You Giving Up Too Soon?
There's ED (erectile dysfunction), PE (premature...
#366: No More Pushing Past the Pain! God Cares About Your Sexual Pleasure
What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because you think you...
#365: How To Create a Language That Brings Meaning to Your Lovemaking
How long would you like foreplay to last? How important is it to have an orgasm every time we have sex? Complete this sentence:...
#364: How to Work Your Way Back to Sexual Intimacy After Infidelity
After sexual infidelity, how do you know when to start having sex again? Recovery is layered, complex, and different...
What Kind of Lover Are You?
As women, we typically view sex as a way of expressing the love and intimacy we feel in our hearts. It’s definitely a challenge to be sexually intimate when those feelings of love are absent. For the first decade of our marriage, it irritated me when my husband wanted...
Is Sex Sabotaging Love in Your Marriage?
Sex and love. They are supposed to go together, right? To hear some people talk, you might think that sex is the most important part of marriage, and if you listened to others, you’d think it really doesn’t matter at all. How important is a healthy sex life to...
Bonus! #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused
It’s been proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow us into adulthood. Memories, anxiety, and feelings of shame can leave women overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand—and their husbands equally confused! In this episode, Juli sits down with Dawn Scott Damon, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused, to share wisdom and insight for husbands, helping them to love their wives well through the journey of recovery and healing.
Five Things You Need to Know About Women, Orgasm & Intimacy
After speaking at a marriage event, I spent time with couples who wanted to ask a question or share a comment. A young couple sat patiently and silently until everyone else had left the auditorium. As I sat down to talk with them, they could barely get the words out. The young man began, “This is really embarrassing, but we don’t know where else to go for help. Umm, we’ve been married for, umm, six years and umm….” His wife quietly finished his sentence, “I don’t know how to achieve an orgasm.”
#350: Making Time To Make Love (Especially When You Don’t Feel Like It)
It's hard to prioritize sexual intimacy when you don't understand why God created sex in the first place. Instead, you put up walls...
#343: Forgiving What You Can’t Forget
Lysa TerKeurst tells Juli about the brokenness and restoration of her marriage and how forgiveness is both a decision...
Are You Entitled to (Good) Sex In Marriage?
A man approached me after hearing me speak on the topic of sexual intimacy and thanked me for talking openly about such a vulnerable subject. Then he began sharing his story with me. He had just divorced his wife of 29 years because of a lack of fulfilling sex in...
#337: Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask About Sex
Dr. Doug Rosenau, a pioneer in Christian sex therapy, has been answering questions about sex for decades—long...
¿Qué pasa si quiero más sexo que mi esposo?
Esto me lo preguntan mucho. A menudo, una mujer se me acerca con timidez en un evento y dice: «Soy una de esas mujeres de las que habló que tiene más deseo sexual que su esposo. ¿Qué debo hacer?». Puesto que las mujeres en esta situación desafían el estereotipo, a...
¿Qué pasa si no me gusta el sexo?
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. Detesto el sexo. Me enoja escuchar que incluso sugieres que se supone que se disfrute. He estado casada por...
¿Cómo reconstruyo la confianza después de una traición?
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. No existe un dolor mayor como el de descubrir que tu esposo te ha sido infiel. Es como si todo tu mundo se...
#117: How Your Sex Life is Connected to Your Spiritual Life
An early theologian once wrote, “We know that when a couple has sexual intercourse, the Holy Spirit leaves the room.” If you were...
What Submission Isn’t
*The two-part blog series we’re kicking off this week is a sneak peak into what Dr. Juli Slattery has been working on ... a complete rewrite of her book Finding the Hero in Your Husband. Stay tuned for updates on when it will be released in 2021!* In my...
JWJ Listening Guide: Taking Back the Bedroom
This specially curated Java Pack is a wife’s guide to sex and intimacy. Every marriage contends with highs and lows in the bedroom. For some couples it’s a fire that’s fizzling out, while others have always struggled to find a spark. In Taking Back the Bedroom, you’ll hear some of our most popular content for understanding God’s design for sexuality within marriage.
#321: Taking Your Marriage Back From Porn
One of the most painful experiences as a wife is learning of your husband’s porn addiction—or learning that...
#319: Is Good Sex a “Right” in Marriage?
Juli and Hannah sit down for a candid conversation about whether or not it's possible to have a good, Christian marriage and not be...
Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life
If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applies to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom. A healthy sex life has aspects of...
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. When my husband and I...
#22: Intimacy, Sex & Aging
Intimacy with your spouse is important is all phases of life--even when you're celebrating your 50th wedding...
Webinar: How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex
Talking about sex with your spouse is scary... especially when one (or both!) of you is disappointed, frustrated, or resentful about how things are currently. How do you have healthy conversations about sex, when every other attempt has been wrought with tension? ÊHow...
#294: When You Want Sex, But Your Spouse Doesn’t
In every marriage, there is typically one partner with a higher sexual drive. And that person is usually trying to convince the...
Webinar: Does Your Sex Life Have Shades of Gray?
Why are some Christians okay with sex toys, masturbation, and cohabitation while others believe it's wrong to kiss before marriage? Whether you're single or married, honoring God with your sexuality means discerning the dangers of both license and legalism in the...
#286: How to Make Time to Make Love
Making time to make love is always going to take effort. There will always be an excuse to put it off for another season. Grab your...
Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 2
For the past decade, my full-time job has been to address sexual issues from a Christian perspective. Knowing that, you can imagine the kind of emails I regularly receive in my inbox! What I’ve learned is that sexuality represents pain in a lot of lives and marriages....
Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 1
Most of us have been told that sex in marriage is important. But why does it matter? For many of us, sex may just be “meh” or tend to cause more division in our relationships than unity. The reality is that sexual issues are always among the top reasons for marital...
#276: Parenthood, Exhaustion & Avoiding Sex
She's a busy and tired mama. He's stressed to the max with work and family. Can't they just put sex and...
#268: BONUS! When God “Wakes Up” Your Love Life
Did you know that an intimate relationship with the Lord can lead to a more intimate relationship with your husband? In this BONUS...
#267: Are You Having Sex or Building Intimacy?
You can be sexually active without being sexually intimate. But is that God's best? Our sexuality is designed to be laced with...
Beyond a Happy Marriage
Within the past month, I’ve been accused of two things that seem to be mutually exclusive. A few women have made comments like, “Why don’t you ever challenge the men? Why is it always the woman’s responsibility to build a healthy marriage?” And men have written me...