Sex in Marriage

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2

Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body.  Sex,...

How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy

How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy

As Roy and Stacy listened to their pastor teach on I Corinthians 7, they began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. “Paul is saying here that a wife is to meet her husband’s sexual needs. If she doesn’t, he may be tempted to seek sex outside of their relationship.”...

Bonus! #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused

Bonus! #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused

It’s been proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow us into adulthood. Memories, anxiety, and feelings of shame can leave women overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand—and their husbands equally confused! In this episode, Juli sits down with Dawn Scott Damon, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused, to share wisdom and insight for husbands, helping them to love their wives well through the journey of recovery and healing.

Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life

Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life

If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applies to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom.  A healthy sex life has aspects of...

#473 Repentance, Redemption, and Revolution: How to Accept the Invitation of Godly Sexuality

#473 Repentance, Redemption, and Revolution: How to Accept the Invitation of Godly Sexuality

What does it actually look like to accept the invitation to reclaim God’s design for sexuality in your life? Is the path straight, wide, and flat, or narrow, bumpy, and full of twists and turns? In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli hosts guests Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution as they discuss their polar-opposite experiences embracing their sexuality as God intended.

Q&A: When I don’t feel desire, is “duty sex” OK?

Q&A: When I don’t feel desire, is “duty sex” OK?

Getting stuck in a cycle of "duty sex" will sabotage true intimacy. Learn how to change that pattern and deepen your relationship. Here are a few resources to get you started: God, Sex, & Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery Java #419: Why Sexual Intimacy is About...

Q&A: Does a “quickie” count as sexual intimacy?

Q&A: Does a “quickie” count as sexual intimacy?

Aren't quickies all about sexual activity and not sexual intimacy? Fast-paced encounters may feel at odds with the patient, intentional moments that build sexual intimacy, but even quickies have a place in healthy sexuality. Here, Juli explains why. This question came...

Q&A: How do I begin to pray about my sex life?

Q&A: How do I begin to pray about my sex life?

"I'm newer to the Christian faith and praying about sex is the weirdest thing I've ever heard!" Praying about your sex life? It’s a little awkward at first. That’s because even those of us who’ve grown up in church have been led to believe that sexual problems don’t...

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3

One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1

“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it.   Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...

What To Wear in the Bedroom?

What To Wear in the Bedroom?

Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...

Spice Up Your Sex Life

Spice Up Your Sex Life

Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. When my husband and I...

#22: Intimacy, Sex & Aging

#22: Intimacy, Sex & Aging

Intimacy with your spouse is important is all phases of life--even when you're celebrating your 50th wedding...

Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 2

Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 2

For the past decade, my full-time job has been to address sexual issues from a Christian perspective. Knowing that, you can imagine the kind of emails I regularly receive in my inbox! What I’ve learned is that sexuality represents pain in a lot of lives and marriages....

Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 1

Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 1

Most of us have been told that sex in marriage is important. But why does it matter? For many of us, sex may just be “meh” or tend to cause more division in our relationships than unity. The reality is that sexual issues are always among the top reasons for marital...

Beyond a Happy Marriage

Beyond a Happy Marriage

Within the past month, I’ve been accused of two things that seem to be mutually exclusive. A few women have made comments like, “Why don’t you ever challenge the men? Why is it always the woman’s responsibility to build a healthy marriage?” And men have written me...

Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers

Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers

Have you ever wondered why God made you and your husband so different? For many years, I thought that might be my first question to God when I got to heaven. The differences between me and my husband, particularly in the bedroom, were driving us both crazy. Sexual...

#228: Intimacy After Infidelity

#228: Intimacy After Infidelity

Imagine the stress of being in ministry, a missionary on the mission field, while keeping your sexual sin a secret. (If we’re...

Sexual Pleasure Isn’t Shameful

Sexual Pleasure Isn’t Shameful

God cares about your sex life. It may seem weird to see the words God and sex in the same sentence. Sometimes when I teach women on this topic, they have a visceral reaction to the concept of God knowing about their sex lives. Psalm 139 tells us that God is always...

#217: Finding Hope After Betrayal

#217: Finding Hope After Betrayal

The man who vowed to love, cherish and protect you is cheating, lying and hiding. Now what? In this episode, Dr. Juli Slattery is...

The Great Danger: He Can Have My Body, But…

The Great Danger: He Can Have My Body, But…

Jerusha Clark wrote the following guest blog as a follow up to her and Juli's conversation on Java with Juli. Jerusha and her husband Jeramy have been sharing their journey of marriage and parenting for many years, encouraging others with what God is teaching them.You...

How Do I Rebuild Trust After Betrayal?

How Do I Rebuild Trust After Betrayal?

There is no pain like discovering that your husband has been unfaithful. It’s as if your whole world has been shattered. You doubt your instincts because you have been fooled. You make vows to never trust again because old vows have been broken. Based on God’s Word,...

#179: When Sex Is Not Good

#179: When Sex Is Not Good

"I know that orgasm should not be the main goal of sex, but I am disappointed that I have never experienced it." "I can’t say that...

#56: When Men Don’t Want Sex

#56: When Men Don’t Want Sex

“Not tonight, honey. I’m just not in the mood.” The stereotype of a woman who is trying to avoid intimacy with her husband by using...

Help! My Husband Is The One With The Headache

Help! My Husband Is The One With The Headache

Watch a movie or flip through some TV sitcoms and you will hear men always want sex. Men are portrayed as constantly turned on and trying to get their wives into bed while the women are typically shown rolling their eyes. Ask a group “What do men think about most...

How to say “Yes, Yes, Yes!” after “No, No, No!”

How to say “Yes, Yes, Yes!” after “No, No, No!”

As we round the corner into late spring, it’s wedding season. Although every new marriage has its unique struggles, some questions newlyweds ask are somewhat predictable. One of them is represented by the title of this blog. This question is not just asked by the...

Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!

Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!

My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it.  My wife and I got married about...

Java Pack: Taking Back the Bedroom

Java Pack: Taking Back the Bedroom

This specially curated Java Pack is a wife’s guide to sex and intimacy. Every marriage contends with highs and lows in the bedroom. For some couples it’s a fire that’s fizzling out, while others have always struggled to find a spark. In Taking Back the Bedroom, you’ll hear some of our most popular content for understanding God’s design for sexuality within marriage.

Webinar: How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex

Webinar: How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex

Talking about sex with your spouse is scary... especially when one (or both!) of you is disappointed, frustrated, or resentful about how things are currently. How do you have healthy conversations about sex, when every other attempt has been wrought with tension? ÊHow...

Webinar: Does Your Sex Life Have Shades of Gray?

Webinar: Does Your Sex Life Have Shades of Gray?

Why are some Christians okay with sex toys, masturbation, and cohabitation while others believe it's wrong to kiss before marriage? Whether you're single or married, honoring God with your sexuality means discerning the dangers of both license and legalism in the...

Webinar: Overcoming Barriers in the Bedroom

Webinar: Overcoming Barriers in the Bedroom

Do you hate sex? Are you too tired, never in the mood, or is sex too painful? Maybe there’s too much tension in your marriage to desire any sexual intimacy with your husband. Dr. Juli Slattery will be teaching on overcoming barriers in the bedroom and sharing things...

A Secret for the Guys

A Secret for the Guys

Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my...

#210:  Enjoying Intimacy in Your Golden Years

#210: Enjoying Intimacy in Your Golden Years

It’s no secret that aging changes us. Our bodies don’t work the way they used to.  Sex doesn’t work the way it used to.  What once happened easily is now difficult and awkward.  Is it time to close the chapter on sex? Not so fast! Join Juli and her guests as they...

Does Your Husband Need Sex?

Does Your Husband Need Sex?

Until recently, it has been part of the Christian marriage narrative that men need sex. Christian marriage books over the decades have repeatedly claimed that sex is a primary need for guys in marriage. In many marriages (but not all), husbands would eagerly nod their...

Webinar: Spicing Up Your Sex Life

Webinar: Spicing Up Your Sex Life

Do you know that God's desire is for you and your husband to experience great pleasure in your sex life? Many couples settle for "vanilla" sex for years (aka the missionary position), placing self-imposed restrictions on themselves that have nothing to do with God's...

What If I Hate Sex?

What If I Hate Sex?

"I hate sex. It makes me angry to hear you even suggest that I’m supposed to be enjoying it. I’ve been married twenty-three years and have never enjoyed it. Frankly, I do it because I’m supposed to.”  (Presione aquí para leer en español)  I hear from women like this...

What If I Want Sex More Than My Husband Does?

What If I Want Sex More Than My Husband Does?

I get asked this a lot. A woman often sheepishly approaches me at an event and says, “I’m one of those women you talked about who has a higher sex drive than my husband. What should I do?”  Because women in this situation defy the stereotype, they sometimes feel shame...

Webinar: Fighting Porn in Your Marriage

Webinar: Fighting Porn in Your Marriage

A recent survey revealed that approximately 85% of men interact with pornographic material on a monthly basis. With that statistic, we know that means porn has made it's way into many of our marriages. Pornography is killing our intimacy, and its widespread use and...