How do you learn to trust again when your spouse has had an affair?
Sex in Marriage
#263: Experiencing Sexual Pleasure, Part 2
In part two of this conversation, you'll hear about the other two legs of the "sexual desire triangle" and go from getting your body...
#262: Experiencing Sexual Pleasure, Part 1
Unlike most men (who always seem to be in the mood, always climax, and never experience pain), sexual pleasure can be a mystery to...
Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?
How do you know if your spouse is repentant after a betrayal?
Q&A: Past Sexual Trauma Inhibits My Ability to Enjoy Sex. Is There Hope That I Can Ever Heal?
When trauma is in your past, is sexual enjoyment possible?
Q&A: Is Sex Necessary For Intimacy?
Is sex necessary for intimacy?
Q&A: What If I’m Not Attracted to My Spouse Anymore?
What do you do if you’re no longer attracted to your spouse?
Q&A: Sex Has Never Been Pleasurable in Our Marriage. Should I Just Fake It?
If you don’t enjoy sex, should you just fake it?
Q&A: What’s Okay to Do Sexually in Marriage?
What’s okay to do sexually in marriage?
#421: “God, Sex, and Your Marriage”-Juli Answers Your Questions
You're starting to see how sexual intimacy is a reflection of covenant love. But what does that actually look like in your sex...
#418: What Is Sexual Intimacy Supposed To Look Like in Marriage?
Imagine that you and your spouse are building a jigsaw puzzle, but you don’t know what the picture on the front of the box looks...
#387: Life, Intimacy and Loving Your Body After Breast Cancer & Reconstruction
Kim Harms was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after her fortieth birthday. In this episode, Juli grabs...
Q&A: Is It My Responsibility to Meet My Spouse’s Sexual Needs?
Is it your responsibility to meet your spouse’s sexual needs?
#473 Repentance, Redemption, and Revolution: How to Accept the Invitation of Godly Sexuality
What does it actually look like to accept the invitation to reclaim God’s design for sexuality in your life? Is the path straight, wide, and flat, or narrow, bumpy, and full of twists and turns? In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli hosts guests Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution as they discuss their polar-opposite experiences embracing their sexuality as God intended.
Q&A: We Have Sex Regularly, but My Husband Never Seems Satisfied. What Do I Do?
What do you do if your spouse never seems satisfied with the sex you’re having?
#443: Is Your View of Sex and Marriage Gift-worthy?
When marriage is simply about getting our needs met, we end up playing whack-a-mole with symptoms of sin and brokenness that pop up...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2
Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body. Sex,...
#420: Bonus! What Redemption and Sexual Intimacy Look Like in Real Life
Sex was nothing like what they were told it was going to be. She felt pain. He felt guilt. Together, they're on a journey toward...
#419: Why Sexual Intimacy is About So Much More Than Just Having Sex
Are you working from the wrong understanding of what makes a great sex life? Find out in this...
How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy
As Roy and Stacy listened to their pastor teach on I Corinthians 7, they began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. “Paul is saying here that a wife is to meet her husband’s sexual needs. If she doesn’t, he may be tempted to seek sex outside of their relationship.”...
#410: Sexual Abuse in Marriage and How To Help a Hurting Wife
Sexual abuse in marriage... wait. What? Doesn't the Bible say a spouse "has authority" over the other's body? Let's talk practically...
#406: Every Couple Has a Sexual Dance. What Does Yours Say About You?
Sex therapist Dr. Mike Sytsma says that when a couple tells him how they kiss or how they make love, he can tell them...
#394: Debt-free in the Bedroom: How To Heal From Sexual Pain
Have you experienced sexual trauma? Were you betrayed in marriage? Are there sexual choices from your past that...
#390: Have You Given Up On Sexual Enjoyment and Pleasure?
Are you resigned to the idea that God must have created sex for your husband, but not for you? Juli and her guest, Dr. Debra Taylor,...
#379: Is Your Love Life All That You Want It To Be?
Is this really all there is? If you’ve ever felt this way about your sex life, you’re not alone. In this...
#373: How We Beat a Porn Addiction in Our (Millennial) Marriage
When Clinton and Charity Muñoz sought help to overcome a porn addiction, Clinton was told to memorize more...
Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 2
Overcoming Physical Barriers to Pleasure Part 2 in this webinar series Meet Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN. She has over 28 years of experience and a passion help women understand how their bodies are integrated with their minds, spirits, and emotions. In this webinar,...
Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 1
The Priority of Mutual Pleasure in Healthy Sex Part 1 in this webinar series Juli and Dr. Debra Taylor, a certified Christian sex therapist, discuss the importance of pleasure within the larger picture of sexual intimacy, and how the pleasure we experience during sex...
#365: How To Create a Language That Brings Meaning to Your Lovemaking
How long would you like foreplay to last? How important is it to have an orgasm every time we have sex? Complete this sentence:...
#364: How to Work Your Way Back to Sexual Intimacy After Infidelity
After sexual infidelity, how do you know when to start having sex again? Recovery is layered, complex, and different...
Bonus! #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused
It’s been proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow us into adulthood. Memories, anxiety, and feelings of shame can leave women overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand—and their husbands equally confused! In this episode, Juli sits down with Dawn Scott Damon, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused, to share wisdom and insight for husbands, helping them to love their wives well through the journey of recovery and healing.
#343: Forgiving What You Can’t Forget
Lysa TerKeurst tells Juli about the brokenness and restoration of her marriage and how forgiveness is both a decision...
#319: Is Good Sex a “Right” in Marriage?
Juli and Hannah sit down for a candid conversation about whether or not it's possible to have a good, Christian marriage and not be...
Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life
If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applies to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom. A healthy sex life has aspects of...
#294: When You Want Sex, But Your Spouse Doesn’t
In every marriage, there is typically one partner with a higher sexual drive. And that person is usually trying to convince the...
#276: Parenthood, Exhaustion & Avoiding Sex
She's a busy and tired mama. He's stressed to the max with work and family. Can't they just put sex and...
#268: BONUS! When God “Wakes Up” Your Love Life
Did you know that an intimate relationship with the Lord can lead to a more intimate relationship with your husband? In this BONUS...
#259: Our Marriage Survived Painful Sex
Jennifer went to her doctor to get help for the excruciating pain she felt during sex. She left with a clean bill of...
#237: BONUS! Reconstructing Intimacy After Breast Cancer
"I never imagined there would be a point in my life when a piece of me would have to be reconstructed. That at age...
#234: We Can Do THAT in the Bedroom?
What's OK in the bedroom? Juli, Linda & Yvette tackle one of our most popular questions in this episode of Java...
How to Bridge the Gap in Mismatched Libidos in Marriage
Juli expands on a popular episode with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn all about how couples can bridge the sexual desire gap.
Q&A: Is It Possible For The Woman to Be The Higher Drive Partner?
Are husbands always the higher desire partners?
Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Looking at Porn?
What do you do when you discover your spouse watches porn?
#439: Pelvic Floor Health 101 (It’s About More Than Just Sex)
Nearly 3 out of 4 women experience pain during or after sex. If that's you, we have good news: a pelvic floor therapist can help....
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3
One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1
“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...
#214: Answers To Your Questions About Sex, with Dr. Juli Slattery & Linda Dillow
Is it “dirty” to dress up for your husband in the bedroom? Is it wrong to masturbate if your husband can’t have sex? What if your...
What To Wear in the Bedroom?
Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...
#36: What Kind of Love Are You Making?
If there is one place in the Bible that gives women permission to have fun, to explore and to enjoy sexual pleasure, it’s the poetic...
Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 3
Saying "Yes!" to Sexual Pleasure Part 3 in this webinar series In the final webinar in our series, Dr. Jennifer Degler brings her humor, candor, and expertise to help you understand how to get your brain and your body working together so that you can share the kind of...
#368: Aging Bodies Can Still Enjoy Sexuality. Are You Giving Up Too Soon?
There's ED (erectile dysfunction), PE (premature...
#366: No More Pushing Past the Pain! God Cares About Your Sexual Pleasure
What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because you think you...
#350: Making Time To Make Love (Especially When You Don’t Feel Like It)
It's hard to prioritize sexual intimacy when you don't understand why God created sex in the first place. Instead, you put up walls...
#337: Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask About Sex
Dr. Doug Rosenau, a pioneer in Christian sex therapy, has been answering questions about sex for decades—long...
#321: Taking Your Marriage Back From Porn
One of the most painful experiences as a wife is learning of your husband’s porn addiction—or learning that...
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. When my husband and I...
#22: Intimacy, Sex & Aging
Intimacy with your spouse is important is all phases of life--even when you're celebrating your 50th wedding...
#286: How to Make Time to Make Love
Making time to make love is always going to take effort. There will always be an excuse to put it off for another season. Grab your...
Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 2
For the past decade, my full-time job has been to address sexual issues from a Christian perspective. Knowing that, you can imagine the kind of emails I regularly receive in my inbox! What I’ve learned is that sexuality represents pain in a lot of lives and marriages....
Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 1
Most of us have been told that sex in marriage is important. But why does it matter? For many of us, sex may just be “meh” or tend to cause more division in our relationships than unity. The reality is that sexual issues are always among the top reasons for marital...
Beyond a Happy Marriage
Within the past month, I’ve been accused of two things that seem to be mutually exclusive. A few women have made comments like, “Why don’t you ever challenge the men? Why is it always the woman’s responsibility to build a healthy marriage?” And men have written me...
Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers
Have you ever wondered why God made you and your husband so different? For many years, I thought that might be my first question to God when I got to heaven. The differences between me and my husband, particularly in the bedroom, were driving us both crazy. Sexual...
#246: Lies You Believe About Sex
"I'm not loved if I'm not desired." "I don't deserve a great sex life." "God...
#245: The Link Between Your Bedroom & Your Bank Account
Have you ever hidden a receipt from your spouse? Join Juli and her guests to find out why holding grudges or...
#233: Understanding Your Man
From "All he thinks about is sex!" to "Why doesn't he ever initiate?" this Java with Juli...
#228: Intimacy After Infidelity
Imagine the stress of being in ministry, a missionary on the mission field, while keeping your sexual sin a secret. (If we’re...
Sexual Pleasure Isn’t Shameful
God cares about your sex life. It may seem weird to see the words God and sex in the same sentence. Sometimes when I teach women on this topic, they have a visceral reaction to the concept of God knowing about their sex lives. Psalm 139 tells us that God is always...
#219: Rethinking Sexuality in Your Marriage
Does God care about what goes on inside your bedroom? We think so. God has something to teach you about...
#217: Finding Hope After Betrayal
The man who vowed to love, cherish and protect you is cheating, lying and hiding. Now what? In this episode, Dr. Juli Slattery is...
#205: My Husband’s Addiction Saved My Life
From the outside they had a perfect Christian family --a happy marriage, jobs in ministry and successful kids. ...
The Great Danger: He Can Have My Body, But…
Jerusha Clark wrote the following guest blog as a follow up to her and Juli's conversation on Java with Juli. Jerusha and her husband Jeramy have been sharing their journey of marriage and parenting for many years, encouraging others with what God is teaching them.You...
#197: A Pornography Addiction in our Marriage
On this episode, Juli talks with Sanj and Kay Kalra about the way that pornography addiction negatively affected their marriage for...
#186: What Can Passion Pursuit Do for You?
Do you desire deeper intimacy with your spouse? Do you want to experience freedom in the bedroom like you’ve never...
How Do I Rebuild Trust After Betrayal?
There is no pain like discovering that your husband has been unfaithful. It’s as if your whole world has been shattered. You doubt your instincts because you have been fooled. You make vows to never trust again because old vows have been broken. Based on God’s Word,...
#179: When Sex Is Not Good
"I know that orgasm should not be the main goal of sex, but I am disappointed that I have never experienced it." "I can’t say that...
#18: When You Don’t Like Your Body
How many times have you been disappointed or felt inferior because of your weight? Have you ever asked yourself where those emotions...
#56: When Men Don’t Want Sex
“Not tonight, honey. I’m just not in the mood.” The stereotype of a woman who is trying to avoid intimacy with her husband by using...
#126: What Your Husband Wishes You Knew About Sex
Have you ever wanted to climb inside the mind of your man, just for a day? Well ladies, here’s your chance! On this Java with Juli,...
#123: How Sexual Differences in Marriage Can Make You a Better Lover
“Lord, I’ll do anything—just not that!” Being vulnerable, giving, and asking for your needs in...
Help! My Husband Is The One With The Headache
Watch a movie or flip through some TV sitcoms and you will hear men always want sex. Men are portrayed as constantly turned on and trying to get their wives into bed while the women are typically shown rolling their eyes. Ask a group “What do men think about most...
How to say “Yes, Yes, Yes!” after “No, No, No!”
As we round the corner into late spring, it’s wedding season. Although every new marriage has its unique struggles, some questions newlyweds ask are somewhat predictable. One of them is represented by the title of this blog. This question is not just asked by the...
#504 Painful Intercourse, Fake Orgasms, And Aging Sex: Answers To The Most Popular Sex Questions
Juli is joined by Dr. Jennifer Degler and Dr. Michael Sytsma in providing biblical, practical answers to questions about married sex.
#503 Lies, Pornography and Sex Addiction Almost Ended Their Marriage, Now They Help Others Find Hope
How do porn and sex addiction really affect a family?
Sexual Entitlement: What it is and Why it is Ruining Your Marriage
Yes, God created sex for marriage, but did He promise it to us?
3 Reasons Why “Faking It” is Making Your Bad Sex Life Even Worse
While faking climax or sexual enjoyment may seem like a solution when you don’t like sex, it’s not a healthy long-term strategy. Here’s why.
#500 Sex, Faith and Family: Conversations Every Couple Should Have Pre-Marriage
Are you ever really ready for marriage? Are there certain conversations couples should have prior to engagement? Scott Kedersha weighs in.
#494 Purity Culture, Men and Sexual Entitlement
The purity narrative failed men too. Noah Filipiak unpacks some of the harmful ideas passed on to men in an effort to protect purity.
Q&A: How Often Is ‘Normal’ for Having Sex Within Marriage?
How can you know if you’re having sex enough in marriage?
#454 Mismatched in Sexual Desire? You May Be Closer Than You Think
If you’re married and experiencing huge gaps between your level of sexual desire and your spouse’s, this special re-air episode is for you.
#484 Duty Sex, Feeling Objectified, and Other Reasons Women Don’t Enjoy Sex in Marriage
J Parker and Bonny Burns, hosts of “Sex Chat for Christian Wives”, provide biblical, practical insight on challenges wives face in marriage.
#480 How to Heal and Rebuild Trust and Sexual Intimacy After An Affair
Why do people cheat? And is it possible to reconcile after you or your spouse has been unfaithful? Juli is joined by Jessica McDaniel, LPC.
#479 More Than Just Behavior: Why Your Struggles With Sexual Sin Run Deeper Than You Think
What if facing your sexual struggles could lead to deeper healing? Juli and Jay Stringer, LMHC, talk about his research on desire.
#465 Love Dares: Using Playfulness to Build Sexual Intimacy
If you’re a husband or wife who finds sex dull or monotonous, it may be time for you to revisit the way God designed marital sex. The truth is that God desires for you to enjoy building sexual intimacy with your spouse, not just endure it. In this podcast episode, Juli and guest Dr. Jennifer Degler talk about how God gives the gift of sexual play to couples, and the practical (and fun!) ways you can connect with your spouse.
Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!
My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it. My wife and I got married about...
#457 How To Build a Flourishing (not Flawless) Sex Life You’ll Both Love
Take the guess work out of your sex life and learn how to tell (or show) your spouse what feels good in the bedroom.
Java Pack: Taking Back the Bedroom
This specially curated Java Pack is a wife’s guide to sex and intimacy. Every marriage contends with highs and lows in the bedroom. For some couples it’s a fire that’s fizzling out, while others have always struggled to find a spark. In Taking Back the Bedroom, you’ll hear some of our most popular content for understanding God’s design for sexuality within marriage.
Webinar: How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex
Talking about sex with your spouse is scary... especially when one (or both!) of you is disappointed, frustrated, or resentful about how things are currently. How do you have healthy conversations about sex, when every other attempt has been wrought with tension? ÊHow...
Webinar: Does Your Sex Life Have Shades of Gray?
Why are some Christians okay with sex toys, masturbation, and cohabitation while others believe it's wrong to kiss before marriage? Whether you're single or married, honoring God with your sexuality means discerning the dangers of both license and legalism in the...
Webinar: Overcoming Barriers in the Bedroom
Do you hate sex? Are you too tired, never in the mood, or is sex too painful? Maybe there’s too much tension in your marriage to desire any sexual intimacy with your husband. Dr. Juli Slattery will be teaching on overcoming barriers in the bedroom and sharing things...
A Secret for the Guys
Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my...