Q&A: Past Sexual Trauma Inhibits My Ability to Enjoy Sex. Is There Hope That I Can Ever Heal?
Full Transcript
For a lot of people who have sexual trauma in their past, they find that they can’t enter into sexual pleasure. And this is also a question that people ask before they get married is: I know I have trauma my past, how do I heal?
Part of what we need to understand is first of all, you can heal and I want to give you that hope but also that it will be a journey and there are really two tracks that you have to pay attention to in terms of healing. The first one is more neurological or biological and as we’re learning more about how the body and the mind respond to trauma. We’re actually learning that a trigger is a real thing that you can experience memories from the past. You can experience sensations and feelings of anxiety when you are triggered by a sensation like a smell or being touched a certain way or even thinking about sex. And so part of healing is healing your brain, healing your body through going through maybe trauma related therapy that will help you. Tell your story, that will help you speak out loud that things that have happened to you processing memories as part of healing. So my encouragement to you is to get the kind of trauma-informed therapy that will help you process memories from the past and that will help your brain and your body heal, but the second track is equally important and this is really more the spiritual track, and what the enemy often does is he takes advantage of our wounds and during times of trauma during episodes of sexual trauma not only was your body responding but the enemy will plant lies. I’ve never met someone who is experienced sexual trauma who hasn’t started to believe lies as a result lies. Like I’ll never be healed or my sexuality forever broken lies. Like it must have been my fault. I need to punish myself and so part of your healing even in order to enter into the pleasure of sexual intimacy is identifying and addressing those lies and covering them with the truth of Jesus Christ?
Maybe you’re the spouse of someone who has been sexually traumatized and sexual trauma and abuse happens to men and to women my encouragement to you. It would be on that Journey with your spouse. I know you feel like something has been taken from you as well and it has but it’s not your spouse that’s taking the pleasure of sex from you. It’s the enemy and so my encouragement to you would be fight together with your spouse for healing and even if it takes a while again, it’s a journey worth taking I have been honored and privileged to meet so many women and men who have been on this long journey of healing through for some very intense sexual trauma and they would tell you there is hope don’t give up. It’s a long journey, but it is a journey worth pursuing.