Q&A: “Is sex necessary for intimacy? How can a couple build intimacy in a way that is meaningful for both of them?”
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Full Transcript
Some women feel like they really don’t need sex within their marriage. They actually say that they experience more intimacy or closeness with just hugging or kissing and then there becomes a conflict in marriage because perhaps the husband thinks that sex is really key for intimacy.
So the question is, is sex necessary for intimacy?
Well in one aspect no, there are many ways to experience intimacy. And for some people again, it doesn’t necessarily have to just be the wife, but for some people intimacy is more meaningful with touching and hugging and caressing and not even having sex and there’s nothing wrong with that but sex is a unique form of intimacy that is available to a husband and wife within marriage and is meant to be important for husband and wife within marriage this discrepancy becomes more difficult because most couples don’t know how to talk about sex.
And so instead of just saying how often do you want to have X I would encourage you to have conversations like, what part of our sexual journey is most meaningful for you? What part of our sexual journey builds intimacy for you? And you might discover that your spouse has a very different answer to that than you do, and then that gives you the tools to navigate that journey together. And so when we talk about sex being necessary for intimacy, most people just think of intercourse, but hugging and kissing and caressing is all meant to be part of sexuality, and for one person that Journey towards sexual excitement might be more meaningful than actual intercourse, but the question is how together is a husband and wife. Do you build Intimacy in a way that’s meaningful for both of you?