Join Juli and guest Dr. Danielle Treweek as we kick off week two of our 7-week series exploring various themes around God, sex and intimacy.
Sexuality & Culture
Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity
While we do need to reject the legalism of purity culture, Juli explains that boundaries still help us embrace godliness with our sexuality.
#481 Learning, Leading, and Growing: A Reflection on 10 Years of Java with Juli
In this celebratory episode, Hannah and Juli discuss the heart of the podcast, what Juli has learned, and plans for the next decade.
If I’m Free, Why Can’t I Do What I Want? And Other Ways We Misunderstand Freedom
There are significant differences between the way the Bible and the world talk about freedom, so what does it really mean to live freely?
Sexual Discipleship®: What Is It, and Why Is It Important?
What is sexual discipleship, why is it the heart and mission of Authentic Intimacy, and how do we live it out?
Help! I Know I Need to Talk to My Teenager About Sex, but How Do I Do It?
Want to share the good news about God’s design for sexuality with your teen? Start with creating a strong relational connection.
#476 When God Ran: How God’s Love Found a Woman Lost In Shame
What does it look and feel like to live in the tension of the weakness of your flesh when you have lengthy and ongoing struggles?
#474 A Rebel’s Manifesto: How to Live Holy Different with Sean McDowell
What does it look like to live life as a Christian counter-culturally? How are we called to be in the world but not of the world when it comes to engaging with others, sharing the gospel, and addressing our own sin?
In this interview, Juli hosts author and professor Sean McDowell as they discuss his new book, “A Rebel’s Manifesto.” The book serves as a call and challenge to today’s Christians, urging them to revisit God’s Word and rethink what it means to be salt and light.
#470 Why Did We Start Hating Men? The Toxic War on Masculinity with Nancy Pearcey
When did it become normal for us as a culture not to like men? In this episode Juli’s guest is Nancy Pearcey, esteemed scholar, and author of “The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes”. She joins Juli to discuss the roots of toxic masculinity, what it means to be a good man, and how to combat the negativity around what it really means to be a man.
#469 Porn, Rape Culture, and Why The Battle Against Sexual Assault Starts at Home
Did you know that on average, each year, around 463,634 Americans are victims of sexual assault? That’s a heartbreaking statistic, and it reveals a very real source of pain and trauma in contemporary American culture. What causes people to commit sexual assault? Is there a way to stop it? Dr. John Foubert joins Juli to discuss some of the reasons these numbers are so high, and what can and needs to be done to prevent sexual assault from happening.
Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How
My husband had just returned home with our youngest son after a weekend away for the sex talk. Christian, eleven at the time, sheepishly told me, “Mom, I feel like I’m too young to know all these things about sex.” I reassured him, “I know how you feel, but Dad and I...
#463 (Bonus) The Need for Grace in Church-Based Conversations About Sex and Gender
When it comes to discussions around sex, historically the church has stayed quiet. As more and more pastors, authors, and psychologists within the church begin writing and talking about sex, the challenge becomes how to make these discussions accessible, nuanced, grace-filled, and Bible-based. In this episode, Juli speaks again with author and pastor Joshua Butler, as together they examine the challenges surrounding talking about sex from within the church.
Q&A: How Can I Overcome the Shame I Experienced as a Result of Purity Culture?
How do you overcome any shame you’ve experienced from purity culture?
#461 Pride, Lust, and Why We Do Things We Don’t Want To Do
Juli Slattery and Jonathan Pokluda tackle tough questions about how to find freedom from the sin that we hate, the difference between regret and self condemnation, and how the gospel is good news for all of us.
Q&A: How Do I Love My LGBTQ Friends Without Compromising Biblical Truth?
Is it possible to love your LGBTQ friends without compromising biblical truth?
#455 How God Changed My Heart (Even After I Changed My Gender) with Laura Smalts
For most of her childhood, Laura wanted to be a boy. In her 20s, she began hormone therapy, had surgery and lived as Jake for nine years. But she could never quite shake the feeling that none of it was real. “I remember looking at the photo on my driver’s license and saying, ‘I’m not as happy as I think I am.'” In this episode, Laura shares her remarkable story of desperation, hope and transformation.
Q&A: What Is the Difference Between Sexual Integrity and Purity?
What is the difference between sexual integrity and purity?
¿Qué hace que una relación sea íntima?
¿Qué hace que una relación sea íntima? Hace unos años, estaba hablando en un campus universitario sobre el diseño de Dios para la sexualidad. Durante un descanso, una joven se me acercó con una pregunta. “Dijiste que Dios me creó para la intimidad. ¿No es la intimidad...
What Defines an Intimate Relationship?
A few years ago, I was speaking at a college campus about God’s design for sexuality. During a break, a young woman approached me with a question, “You said that God created me for intimacy. Isn’t intimacy the same thing as having sex?” (Presione aquí para leer en...
#448: When Did Sexual Identity Become a Thing? (and Why Are We Obsessed With It?)
Sexual identity has become a common phrase, a personal choice, a political cause and, for many, the way we introduce ourselves to others (used even by tweens and teens who’ve never had a sexual experience)—and it feels like it all happened overnight. Do you ever wonder how we got here?
#440: Why Don’t Christians Like to Talk About the Real, Hard Stuff in Life?
Are Christians a prickly audience when it comes to sharing our brokenness and pain? Let's change that. Join Juli and...
Q&A: How do I love and serve my LGBTQ friends without being offensive?
How do I love and serve my LGBTQ friends without being offensive?
#436: Friendship Trends Gone Wrong? (How to Keep Your Friendships Healthy)
Boundaries are a tricky part of friendship. Friends help us meet legitimate needs for companionship, spiritual growth,...
#435: What’s the Most Important Thing the Bible Says About Your Identity?
"The journey of the Christian life is that God has increasingly more of me." - Dr. Juli Slattery Juli and Hannah talk about sexual...
#433: Can You Be Gay and Follow Jesus? with Greg Coles
Greg Coles shares why he doesn't love the controversy surrounding the title of his book Single, Gay, Christian, yet why he's...
#432: Unraveling the Threads of Racism & “Love Addiction” in My Story
Why did I have sex with him again? Why can't I stop this masturbation addiction? Why can't I get this fantasy out of my head? Are...
Q&A: Did purity culture imply that women are “the problem” with lust?
Purity culture has often painted women as "the problem." How can we help people to see others as human beings rather than potential temptations? In this Q&A, our guest, therapist Dawn Jones, shares how seeing others as human beings created in the image of God...
#426: How To Better Understand the Complexity Beneath Gender Dysphoria
What’s the difference between sexual identity and gender identity? Should parents use preferred pronouns? Or allow kids to dress in...
#425: Bonus! How To Build Community & Friendships with Intention and Grace
Feeling stuck in your friendships? You're not alone! As the seasons of life change, our friendships don't always keep up. If you're...
#424: A 54-Year Friendship That Broke Through Cross-Cultural Barriers
Their friendship defied the odds. In the late 60s, in the South, these men weren’t supposed to become friends. Yet, with Jesus as...
#423: How to “Rethink” Issues in Our Church Culture Around Sexuality & Abuse
We need to be asking some hard questions. In the wake of the SBC investigation, along with the growing tsunami of fallen pastors,...
#422: How to Care for Both Women and Children in the Wake of the Dobbs Decision
Do you know that God’s heart is for both women and their unborn children, and don’t know where you fit in the pro-life/pro-choice...
5 Ways the Church Must “Step Up” in Response to Sexual Abuse Within Its Walls
A few weeks ago, the Christian world was rocked by a bombshell revelation. An independent report of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) documented a pattern of ignoring and silencing victims of sexual abuse within the denomination. While there were rumblings of...
What’s the Most Important Thing the Bible Says About Your Sex Life?
What does the Bible say about sex? If you Google this question, you will find a series of articles discussing a dozen or so Bible passages that clearly address sexual issues like adultery, fornication, same-sex activity, and married sex. While those passages are...
Q&A: How do I talk with non-Christian friends when they bring up their personal sex lives?
How do I talk with my non-Christian friends when they bring up their personal sex lives? Or ask for advice about sex with someone they aren't married to? I usually "go along to get along" because I don't know what to say. I don't want to keep answering that way. In...
Webinar: Making Sense of God & Sex, Live Q&A
How do I bring God my heartache over the fact that my daughter is living in a same-sex relationship? Why does God care if my husband and I are having sex or not? Does God really expect me to give up sex, even if I never marry? When you wrestle with sexual pain or...
#403: How Do I Reconcile God’s Goodness with Sexual Pain & Injustice?
How can we reconcile the pain of sexual abuse with faith in a loving God?
6 Thoughts To Help You Discern Truth and Give Grace
Over the past several months, many of you have messaged our team here at Authentic Intimacy asking for my opinion on a recent book or controversy within the Christian community. Most recently, people want my opinion on the new film adaptation of Redeeming Love. You...
#401: Why “Love Is Love” Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means
Black Lives Matter. Love is love. Hate has no home here. A thread of truth—truth deeply rooted in Christianity—runs through these...
#399: Why Questions About Sex Cause You to Question God
Juli and Hannah kick off the "Making Sense of God & Sex" series with a conversation about how questions around sex always lead...
Your Questions About Sex Point to Bigger Questions About God
Our sexuality is not an isolated part of who we are, but an integrated aspect of what it means to be created in God’s image and loved by Him. Our sexual questions and pain points connect with our deepest longings and fears. It’s impossible to grapple with our sexuality without also confronting our foundational beliefs about God. Is He good? Is He trustworthy? Does He see me?
Q&A: My friend is struggling sexually. How can I be a good friend?
"How can I be a good friend to someone struggling sexually if I can't specifically relate but also don't want to be patronizing?" The Bible is very clear — we were made to live in community, honestly sharing our various struggles and temptations. Today's question...
#396: Diverse Gender Identities: How To See the People Behind the Issue
Why are so many teens suddenly coming out as trans or non binary? Juli welcomes Dr. Mark Yarhouse to help you understand the...
#382: Why We’re Not Afraid to Ask Hard Questions About Sex & Christianity
If you feel the pressure to believe that Christians are close-minded and a growing minority, you’re in for an encouraging surprise....
Q&A: What is a better way to approach the statement, “Love the sinner, hate the sin”?
"With friends and family who are homosexual, the Christian narrative tends to be ‘love the sinner, hate the sin.’ But when someone's identity is so interwoven with their sexual orientation, this message doesn't work. Can you share a better way of thinking this...
#381: “Show It Off” or “Cover It Up”: Messages That Shape Our Body Image
What messages have you been told about your body and your sexuality? At the coffee shop with Juli are two...
3 Things I Want You To Know as I Launch a Countercultural Book
A book release. Normally this would be an exciting event. It’s kind of like giving birth to a child that you have nurtured in your womb for nine months. As this one approaches, my excitement is honestly mixed with trepidation. Over twenty years ago, I wrote my first...
#378: How One Church Learned To Embrace the Beauty of Broken
Imagine there is a sign on the door of your church that says, “Please leave your sexual brokenness on the steps...
When Cancel Culture Invades the Church
Your social media feed is probably filled with examples of the latest person who has been “cancelled” because of something they said years ago or an unpopular position they recently expressed. Being cancelled is a weapon powerful enough to prompt teens to take their...
#375: Juli & Jackie on How To Pursue Unity While Standing on Truth
The mics stayed on for more with Jackie Hill Perry. In this unique after-the-show episode, Juli and Jackie share how they’ve...
#367: Exchange Online Distractions for Real-Life Intimacy
“To be completely honest, the first two or three days, I was shocked by classic symptoms of withdrawal. I found...
Q&A: A teen girl is hinting at feeling same-sex attracted. How do I invite her into conversation?
A 15-year old girl in my Bible study has started hinting at a struggle with same-sex attraction. How do I invite her into a conversation about it? In this Q&A video, learn why helping a young girl sort through same-sex attraction doesn't start with talking to her...
#363: Why Are Christians Afraid Of the LGBT+ Conversation?
When it comes to sexuality, can you explain why you believe what you believe? Does God’s "one man and one woman" design for...
#359: How To Help Women Speak Out Against Sexual Harassment
Tiffany Bluhm wishes this wasn’t her story to tell. Like most victims or bystanders of sexual harassment, she had everything to lose...
#358: Sexuality, Spirituality, and Why We Settle For Counterfeit Intimacy
Have you ever turned to Netflix instead of pursuing sex with your spouse? Have you turned to Instagram instead ending your day by...
Q&A: How do I have meaningful conversations with my gay sibling—or do I?
In this Q&A video, Juli shares advice on reconciling relationships with LGBT+ friends and loved ones. Forty years ago, my brother came out to my mom, dad, and siblings in an abrupt manner. Since then, there have been almost no conversations—it’s just the elephant...
#356: Sex & the City of God (What Life Looks Like When We Love God First)
That longing you have to be fully known? God put it there. It’s meant to draw you into intimacy with Him....
Purity Culture: Lose the Lies, Keep Your Faith
If you want to get “cancelled” in Christian culture, try using the phrase “sexual purity.” Even for many committed Christians, sexual purity has lost its luster. Women are writing dissertations and books about how the Church’s teaching on sex has not only harmed them...
#352: How Purity Culture and Ravi Zacharias’ Abuse of Power Challenge Our Faith
Juli Slattery and Asheritah Ciuciu sit down for a conversation about the shortcomings of purity culture, the recent...
Q&A: How do I recover from a purity culture mindset?
Juli answers this important question for all of us: "How can I move from a purity narrative frame of mind to a relationship with God?"
#351: Why Our Churches Need To Do Better at Valuing the Voices of Women
The women of the Bible have a lot to teach us. Their voices often give us the story behind the story—take Ruth for example, or the...
#348: What You Need To Know About the “T” in LGBT, Pt 2
In this episode, Juli continues her conversation with Preston Sprinkle as they dive into biblical questions around...
#347: What You Need To Know About the “T” in LGBT, Pt 1
What was once a rare psychological diagnosis has quickly become an accepted cultural movement. While it's critical...
#345: What You Need to Know About Progressive Christianity
Compassionate. Inclusive. Nonjudgmental. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a church like this? It’s why...
La importancia del discipulado sexual
Durante los últimos años, he estado usando este término "discipulado sexual ™" para describir algo que verdaderamente nos apasiona en el ministerio de Intimidad Auténtica. Me he dado cuenta de que cuando las personas me escuchan unir esas dos palabras, se sienten...
#342: The Good Gift of Courage (And Why You Need It)
We talk often on Java with Juli about our culture’s confusing messages around sexuality. But today’s guest,...
Compassion That Doesn’t Compromise
I’m in my-mid forties, divorced, and lonely. I love God and want to follow His plan for sex and marriage, but I just can’t find a man who is willing to share that journey with me. I’m not the naive young woman “saving sex for marriage” like I was in my twenties. I’m...
#340: We Were Wrong About Modesty
The word “modesty” makes us cringe these days, and it’s easy to understand why: For years it’s...
#339: How to Have Hard Conversations with (Facebook) Friends
If you were standing in front of a crowd of 300 to speak, how carefully would you craft your words? Okay, so you’re actually at home...
ÀPuedo ser piadosa y gay?
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. Esta pregunta es un barril de pólvora; un asunto sensible...
Cómo tener conversaciones difíciles
Las personas que escuchan nuestro podcast, Java con Juli, saben que no me gusta hablar por hablar. Desde que era una niña, he sido capaz de sentir agudamente la tensión tácita en una habitación. Me pongo ansiosa cuando tengo un conflicto sin resolver con un amigo o...
¿Puedo ser piadosa y gay?
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. Esta pregunta es un barril de pólvora; un asunto sensible en extremo. Si tienes tendencias homosexuales o...
#333: Is God Good …Even if You’re LGBT?
“We are being shaped by a culture that idolizes romantic and sexual fulfillment. And I just think—Jesus was...
As Christians, How Do We Respond to Abuse Allegations in the Church?
No, Lord, not another one! My stomach feels sick every time I see the headline of a Christian leader accused of sexual misconduct. Over the years some of you have reached out to ask me what I think about high profile accusations of Christian leaders. You’ve wondered...
#330: Loving the Person Who Isn’t Like You
It’s easy to love the neighbor who looks like us, thinks like us, and believes like us. With those who don't fall into those...
#329: Addressing Tough Questions About Identity and Sexuality
Theology meets real life in this episode of Java with Juli! We’re asking the difficult questions about identity and sexuality: Why...
#318: Why Are We Afraid to Touch?
Let’s face it: As Christians, we’re kind of afraid to touch. Touch feels unsafe and sexual—even...
#317: Bonus! Listen, Learn, and Give Grace (A Conversation About Race)
Are you grieved by the pain and brokenness you see in your news feed each day? We are too. God’s Word tells us that when one part of...
Longing for Hope When Leaders Fail
Sometimes what is happening in the world overwhelms my “to do” list. Today feels like one of those days. This blog post isn’t about intimacy, relationships, or sexuality. It’s about the brokenness we all see all around us. As children and teenagers, our spiritual and...
#313: The Greatest Love Story
From beginning to end the Bible tells a story about marriage. Woven through chapter and verse is a story of covenant...
#312: Born Again This Way: Rachel’s Story
This may sound like a conversation about being a gay Christian, and it is. But more importantly, it's a...
#310: Is God Sexist?
Is God sexist? Does he value men more than he values women? If you've ever wrestled with this question, a...
Q&A: Is it OK to call a transgender friend by their preferred pronouns?
This question is one that’s becoming more and more common:
“I have transgender friends that are unsaved. So, is it okay to call them by their preferred pronouns and names?”
#305: Becoming the Right Kind of Strong
The famous Proverbs 31 woman was "clothed in strength and dignity." She was strong! But perhaps not by our...
#304: Stop Caring What Others Think
Are you constantly preoccupied with what others think about you? With how you look, how much money you make, or how many Instagram...
When Christians Disagree About Sex
When the Nashville statement was released, it brought conservative Christianity’s relationship with sexual issues front and center into the mainstream media. USA Today described the Nashville statement this way, “A coalition of conservative evangelical leaders laid...
#295: We All “Desconstruct,” It’s Reconstructing that Matters
Questions about sexuality, sexual abuse, and gender have sent a new wave of “deconstructing” throughout the...
A Hopeless New Year?
Turning my calendar to January 1 is usually refreshing for me. It represents a new year with a clean slate and excitement ahead. So why does ushering in 2020 feel so heavy and discouraging? There are many indications that our culture is quickly moving in a dangerous...
The World Has a Lot To Say About Sex
If you haven’t noticed, our views on sexuality have changed quite a bit over the past 20 years. Americans are far more accepting of behaviors they once considered to be sexually immoral. Cohabitation, having sex outside of marriage, no-fault divorce, viewing...
#289: How to Choose Unity (Even When You Disagree)
Juli and her guests discuss their reactions to John MacArthur's recent comments about women teaching the Bible. Join us for a...
Why Promise Rings and Purity Talks Fall Short
True Love Waits. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Promise rings. These are the touchstones of predominant teaching on sexual purity promoted by the Christian community throughout the past several decades. Yet, the word purity among today’s Christian adults can elicit feelings...
#285: Loving Without Compromise
Yes, you can love a gay or lesbian friend without trying to change them. Sadly, many in the LGBT+ community feel shamed by...
Webinar: The Art of Asking Good Questions
In an era of emotionally charged politics, #MeToo, and gender identity questions, we've all witnessed, and likely experienced, how engaging with others can quickly lead to heated conversations and hurt feelings. How do we talk about difficult things in a way that BOTH...
#284: Be a Truth Teller
If you're tired of smiling on the outside while you are broken and battered on the inside, Ashley Abercrombie has a message for you...
#278: Aging with Enthusiam & Grace
Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. How can we be grateful, joyful, and love others well whatever season...
How Do We Tell Good From Evil?
Is it wrong to live together before marriage? Does gender really matter? Is it wrong to support gay marriage? These are the types of questions that we often get asked at Authentic Intimacy. Perhaps more than ever, many Christians are confused about right and wrong....
Webinar: Addressing Tough Topics with Truth & Love
In July 2019, best-selling author Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) announced that he and his wife are separating. The hundreds of comments to his Instagram post mirror how Christians generally respond to difficult issues and brokenness. One person wrote,...
Joshua Harris, Sexuality, and “Deconstructing” Christianity
Recently, the evangelical world has been rocked by the news of Joshua Harris’s decision to leave his marriage and Christian beliefs. Joshua is the bestselling author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and was a well-known spokesperson for the purity movement of the 1990s. A...
How to Have Tough Conversations
(Presione aquí para leer en español) If you listen to our podcast, Java with Juli, you know that I don’t like small talk. Ever since I was a little girl, I have been able to acutely sense unspoken tension in a room. I’m anxious when I have a conflict with a friend or...
#264: You (Too) Can Help #MeToo
What can you do to make sure the voices of sexual abuse victims continue to be heard following the #MeToo movement? How...