Should a couple who experienced infidelity give up on sex? Or is there a way to approach sex that feels safe and honest for both parties?
Marriage
Bonus! #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused
It’s been proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow us into adulthood. Memories, anxiety, and feelings of shame can leave women overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand—and their husbands equally confused! In this episode, Juli sits down with Dawn Scott Damon, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused, to share wisdom and insight for husbands, helping them to love their wives well through the journey of recovery and healing.
The Five Key Bonding Forces in Healthy Relationships
“We have to be actively engaged in running the relationships that we have.” – John Van Epp
#509 Workaholism And Infidelity Almost Led To Divorce, But A Miracle Saved Their Marriage
Join Juli, David and Terri, as the couple talk about how God’s intervention saved and restored their marriage.
Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?
How do you know if your spouse is repentant after a betrayal?
#462 Beautiful Union: How Our Sexuality Reveals God’s Heart for Covenant Love
uli sits down with Joshua Butler to talk about his book, “Beautiful Union”.
#156: How To Keep Your Heart Open When You Don’t Feel Emotionally Safe
"Open" is the default setting of our hearts. When our hearts are closed, we lack perspective. We're more likely to make poor...
#554 Sex and the Female Body: How to Swap Shame For Celebration
Francie Winslow, joins Juli to explain how she is learning to embrace the goodness of God’s design for sex.
#552 When You Want Sex More Than Your Husband Does
Sheri Mueller, LCPC, author of “I Want Him to Want Me”, joins Juli to share insights, wisdom, and encouragement.
#155: How To Fight With Your Spouse
Are you ready to fight your way to a better marriage? Conflict presents an incredible opportunity for couples. When done well, it...
#430: Marriage Can Be Hard, Here’s Why the Work Is Worth It
What do you do when you want to give up on your marriage? Greg & Erin Smalley share their story—and remind us that we can ask...
#391: Make Your Relationship Better With a Few Intentional Habits
Relationships naturally find ruts. With our natural bent toward self-love, we easily get stuck focusing on our own needs or...
#389: Thinking About Becoming a Blended Family?
Blended family couples have honeymoon phases too!—they just usually come a little later. Even the strongest couples will face...
Bonus! #384: Do You Empower Your Husband or Enable Him? (The Difference is BIG)
Nobody said marriage would be easy. It takes great courage, strength and self-control to be the woman God has called you to be in...
#377: How to Care For a Friend (Or Yourself) When the Marriage Doesn’t Survive
Marriages don’t always survive the tough stuff. God still moves. Wounds heal. Addicts find sobriety. Forgiveness is extended. Life...
#376: What Does God’s Word Actually Say About Divorce and Remarriage?
Friends, please note that we don't go into detail about how to recognize abuse in marriage. We have other conversations about...
#346: How to Cope When Your Spouse Struggles With Depression
When you’re married, depression is a shared experience. There is no way to escape the impact of sharing a home with someone...
Where Do You Run When Marriage Gets Lonely?
It’s one thing to be lonely when you are single, wondering if and when God will ever bring the right guy. It’s another matter for your heart to ache with loneliness when the “right guy” is living in your home and sleeping in your bed. If this is your reality, please...
#148: Is There a Man in the House?
It’s not just girl talk on Java with Juli. Gentlemen, today is all about you! In this episode, Dr. Gary Chapman joins Juli at...
#136: How We Overcame an Affair: A Conversation with Jill and Mark Savage
"Every question Jill would ask, I tried to answer. My posture was: I will answer any question without defense. I will tell you...
Q&A: How do I know if I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship or marriage?
How do you know if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship or marriage?
¿Es necesario el perdón para la sanidad?
¿Qué dice la Biblia sobre el perdón y nuestro bienestar?
#553 Divorce and Separation: How to Know What to Do
Dr. Greg Smalley, joins Juli to talk about some of the options couples can explore.
Cómo hablar con tu cónyuge sobre el sexo
¿Por qué nos resulta más cómodo tener sexo que hablar de él?
Q&A: My spouse never wants to have sex. What do I do?
What do you do if your spouse isn’t interested in having sex?
#548 How To Repair Your Relationships
John Van Epp, creator of the RAM theoretical model, shares what it takes to make your relationships stronger than ever.
Q&A: What’s OK for a married couple in the bedroom?
Can married couples do whatever they want sexually?
Q&A: Will I ever be able to heal from sexual trauma?
Is the fight to heal from sexual trauma as hopeless as it often feels?
For a Better Marriage, Try This
What do you think is the most important element when it comes to marriage?
How can you Know if You’re Ready for Marriage?
Are you as ready as you think you are for marriage?
#489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First
Is divorce the best option for you? Toni and Carey Nieuwhof discuss Toni’s book, “Before You Split.”
#471 How to Understand, Celebrate, and Leverage Neurological Differences in Relationships
There are always differences in relationships – differences in culture, differences in family of origin, differences in communication and conflict style – but what if you and someone you love just think differently? The thing is, while we may live in a world designed for neurotypical people, the world is full of people who are neurodivergent; those of us who process, learn, experience and interact with the world in ways not considered typical.
Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Looking at Porn?
What do you do when you discover your spouse watches porn?
#466 Enough is Enough: Recognizing and Combating Abusive Relationships
Is there a difference between a bad relationship and a harmful one? How can you spot the difference, both in your own relationships and those of your friends and family?
Join Juli and Dr. David Clarke as they discuss how to recognize abuse patterns of behavior, how to set boundaries, and when necessary, how to get out and create safety elsewhere.
#447: Strengthen Your Marriage Today (and Be Ready for Whatever 2023 May Bring)
Juli Slattery and Gary Thomas share wisdom and insight to keep your marriage together when the storms of life threaten to rip it apart.
Webinar: How to Use Your Power to Build Intimacy
What do you do if your husband refuses to get a job? When you don't like the way he's parenting the kids? How do you know when you've become a controlling or manipulative wife? God has given you a powerful influence in the life of your husband - but you have to learn...
#414: Good Marriages Often Get Off to a Rocky Start (& Why It’s OK)
Even good marriages can get off to a rocky start. In this episode, Ray and Robyn McKelvy, now married over 30 years, share their...
#383: What Do I Do With Disappointment in Marriage?
Have you tried to "fix" problems in your marriage, only to end up feeling distant? Disappointment is common to every...
#362: How To Become a Better “Better Half” with Jamie Ivey
A complement, according to Webster, is “something that fills up, completes, or makes better or perfect.” Romantic as...
#357: Emotional Safety: What It Is and Why You Need It
What is emotional safety? Look at it this way: an emotionally unsafe relationship is a place where you can’t be yourself. You’re...
#341: When Staying Married Feels Impossible
Circumstances in Laurie’s life started triggering her memories of childhood sexual abuse. Her lifelong struggle with same-sex...
#327: When Your Spouse Feels More Like a Roommate
Every couple experiences times of disconnection, but when your spouse begins to feel more like a roommate than a lover, it’s easy to...
#70: Stepping up as a Stepmom
Being a stepmom is one of the hardest roles a woman can take on. Because, let's be honest: you fell in love with your husband, you...
#307: On the Brink of Divorce
Susan Cox sat in church, a hotel room key in her purse, and an ongoing affair pushing her to leave her marriage for good. She was...
#55: When Marriage Won’t Get Better
What do you do when your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, but your spouse won't work on it, no matter how many times...
#281: Growing Closer Through Conflict
There’s no such thing as instant intimacy. Love at first sight? Perhaps. But intimacy is something else entirely. It takes years to...
#280: When Submission Becomes Controlling
Sarah got married believing that absolute submission to her husband would glorify God; making Him, her and her man happy. Only, she...
#266: Your Marriage, God’s Design
What do you want out of marriage? If you’re like most of us, you hope for love, companionship, passion and other good things that...
A Perfect Marriage
Mike and I recently attended a wedding. The bride was stunning, and the groom gleamed with pride. Not a dry eye in the place. Weddings are beautiful—not just because of the music, flowers, dresses, and tuxes, but also because they represent young, unblemished love....
Is There Really a 7-Year Itch?
My husband and I are leading a Bible study with mostly newlywed couples. After a few weeks, we noticed how often we referred to the seven-year-something . . . itch? pit? slump? The other couples in the group started nervously teasing about what terrible blockade may...
#253: Making the Gospel Beautiful Through Relationships
How do we foster relationships that show the world that the Gospel is not just beautiful, it's also believable? Join Juli...
#249: Overcoming Differences With Your Spouse
Opposites attract... for a little while. Then those cute, quirky things that attracted you to your spouse early on begin to get on...
Your Husband Needs You Too
I vividly remember life as it was about 15 years ago. A newborn, a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old, all boys. Most mornings, I woke up to someone crying or pleading for breakfast. From the time my feet hit the ground until I went to bed, someone needed me. I was acutely...
#33: What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?
Have you ever asked yourself, What's it like to be married to me? What's it like to make love with me? Why do I want to stay mad? ...
Your Spouse Doesn’t Complete You
When is the last time you felt disappointed by your marriage? Notice that I asked when, not if. Disappointment is a normal part of any relationship, but it hits us particularly hard in marriage. We live in a day and time when marriage is presented as an answer for...
Loving a Broken Man (Or Woman)
Gary Thomas has been a guest on Java with Juli multiple times and also joined us for our webinar "Having a Mission-Focused Marriage." He is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the...
#48: My Controlling Spouse
If you are fearful or hesitant to share your true thoughts with your spouse, you may be in an unhealthy pattern with a controlling spouse. What are the red flags, and how can you change things? Very few couples know how to address this issue, but it can be a fatal...
#223: Counseling: When & Why You Should Go
Marriage counseling sounds intimidating... and expensive. So why should you go? (Surely you can sort things out with a little help...
#204: Managing Your Expectations in Marriage
Once I am married I’ll always feel loved. I’ll never be lonely. Sex will be fantastic because I waited. Or...
#194: Enjoying Date Nights With Your Spouse
Regardless of how long you’ve been married, date nights are still important! In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli talks with Dr....
#12: Loving Your Husband As You Age
The challenges of married life change as we grow older, and very few people talk about them. That's why Dr. Juli Slattery invited...
#120: What to Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Want to Grow Up
“I feel like I’m married to a child!” says the woman who claims her husband just won’t grow up. She comes...
#116: How to Love Your Husband with Your Whole Heart
Very few of us go to the altar and vow to give our husbands "most of" our hearts. On our wedding day we’re all in! But after the...
#113: Why Friendships In Marriage Are Important
Juli, Linda, and Hannah discuss the importance of married couples having other married couples in their lives. Not only couples who...
The Very Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting
I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to...
Q&A: How do I build emotional intimacy with my spouse when they don’t believe in God?
How do you build emotional connection with a spouse when you have different beliefs?
Q&A: Help! What do I do if my spouse annoys me?
If your spouse is beginning to annoy you, what can you do?
Q&A: How do I start to heal after my spouse’s affair?
How do you heal after the betrayal of a spouse?
#514 How Deconstruction and Divorce Rocked a Young Couple’s Life
Chris and Stephanie Teague, the musical duo behind Out of the Dust, share how their marriage fell apart and how God put it back together.
Q&A: How do I connect with my emotionally disconnected husband?
Got an emotionally disconnected spouse? Hear what Juli says about how to connect.
#500 Sex, Faith and Family: Conversations Every Couple Should Have Pre-Marriage
Are you ever really ready for marriage? Are there certain conversations couples should have prior to engagement? Scott Kedersha weighs in.
Q&A: What Does God Say About Divorce?
What does God say about divorce? Juli unpacks this layered topic.
#386: What’s the Secret To Getting the Marriage & Intimacy You Want? Go Vertical
Guests Dave and Ann Wilson join Juli in this special bonus episode as they share how God transformed their marriage from the top down.
#371: Schedule Sex and Dry Cleaning In the Same Conversation? It Works
Being intentional about the business of marriage builds intimacy. When couples make decisions together, their emotions and buy-in...
#354: How To Keep Rhythm & Romance in Your New COVID Normal
You learned to navigate close quarters, perfected family game night, and homeschooled your kids. As your community reopens, how do...
#322: The Secret Superpower of Kindness
Think about your toughest relationship: The wife who only ever seems to offer you the cold shoulder. The husband you’re finding it...
#320: Bonus! Looking for the Spark in Your Marriage?
Thanks to COVID-19, you and your spouse have likely spent a lot of time together the last five months—but that doesn't necessarily...
#222: What’s Your Money Personality?
The two biggest areas of conflict in marriage are sex and money. We talk a lot about sex on Java with Juli, but today we're talking...
Webinar: When Marriage Gets Messy (Healing after Infidelity)
You may not be in the middle of an affair, but we all have to deal with sin in our relationships. It's easy to turn to other sources of comfort and avoid having hard conversations with your spouse. As your resentment builds, your heart drifts. Thankfully, Jesus has...
#299: Making Marriage Fun! (Even When It’s Hard)
Marriage can be hard, but it doesn’t have to stop being fun! Arguments, grief, or even just the busyness of life can make you...
#293: Secrets to a Lasting Relationship
Dating has changed. A LOT. In the last decade, cohabitation, sex, and sexual experimentation have been touted as the best ways to...
#11: When Work & Marriage Intersect
When you and your spouse have separate (but equally important) callings that pull you in different directions, who yields?...
#255: Practicing Patience in Your Blended Family
If you're not part of a blended family, you probably love someone who is. Join Dr. Juli Slattery as she sits down with Ron Deal,...
#221: Conversations You Should Be Having About Money
How important is it for us to get out of debt? Should we give to our church? Where is the balance between having faith and having a...
#219: Rethinking Sexuality in Your Marriage
Does God care about what goes on inside your bedroom? We think so. God has something to teach you about Himself, and He...
#208: The Forgiveness & Intimacy Link
Have you ever sabotaged a relationship because you think you deserve to be unhappy? Are you bitter toward a spouse who has already...
#193: Loving Your Husband Well
How do you respect your husband when you don't respect his behavior? Are you trying to change your good husband into a perfect...
Webinar: Give Your Husband the Benefit of the Doubt
After a few years of marriage, it's easy to form a list of things that frustrate us about our spouse. When they make a mistake, drop the ball, or don't meet our expectations, it becomes tempting to roll our eyes and start to expect mistakes. Author and speaker Erin...
#190: Practical Ways to Love Your Husband
You have great influence in your husband's life. In your unique position, you can either tear him down or build him up. Join Dr....
#172: My Husband Isn’t My Best Friend
When you say “I do”, are you also promising to be your spouse’s best friend? Is it important to think of your...
#167: People Are More Important Than Marriage
“If the cost of saving a marriage is destroying a woman, the cost is too high.” When Gary Thomas, author of the best-selling book...
#165: How to Talk with Your Spouse About ANYTHING
Some things aren’t worth talking about. Whenever you bring them up with your spouse, you end up in an argument. It’s...
#164: How to Work Through Missed Expectations in Marriage
Marriage doesn’t always turn out the way you think it will. Maybe your husband isn’t quite the gentleman he was when you...
Webinar: When You & Your Spouse Disagree
If you're living with another person and sharing life with them, conflict is definitely going to happen. But could you believe that fighting could be good for marriage? Join Hannah as she talk with Greg & Erin Smalley and they share from their experience as...
#157: Why He Wants to be Your Hero
Men are simple—or at least that’s what you’ve been led to believe. Give them food, sex, perhaps throw in a little...
Webinar: Why Your Husband Needs You
Many women would use the word "helper" to describe their role as a wife, but why is being an encourager so important? Dr. Juli Slattery and Shaunti Feldhahn will address the vitally important message of encouraging your husband, and how vulnerable our men are to...
#111: When You Have Every Reason To Leave
Billy & Vicki Rose were living the dream –glamour, celebrity, and sports in New York City. But their lifestyle eventually...
When You’re Attracted to Someone Who’s Not Your Spouse
The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also...
#130: Newlywed Sex: Growing Closer (And Getting Better!) With Time
Just like the proposal, the wedding day and the honeymoon, newlywed sex is loaded with excitement and emotion. So when things don’t...
#127: Learning How to Apologize In Relationships
“I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry I hurt you.” “I’m sorry I hurt you. Will you forgive...