"Open" is the default setting of our hearts. When our hearts are closed, we lack perspective. We're more likely to make poor...
Marriage
#430: Marriage Can Be Hard, Here’s Why the Work Is Worth It
What do you do when you want to give up on your marriage? Greg & Erin Smalley share their story—and remind us that we can ask...
#509 Workaholism And Infidelity Almost Led To Divorce, But A Miracle Saved Their Marriage
Join Juli, David and Terri, as the couple talk about how God’s intervention saved and restored their marriage.
#155: How To Fight With Your Spouse
Are you ready to fight your way to a better marriage? Conflict presents an incredible opportunity for couples. When done well, it...
How can you Know if You’re Ready for Marriage?
Are you as ready as you think you are for marriage?
#447: Strengthen Your Marriage Today (and Be Ready for Whatever 2023 May Bring)
Juli Slattery and Gary Thomas share wisdom and insight to keep your marriage together when the storms of life threaten to rip it apart.
Webinar: How to Use Your Power to Build Intimacy
What do you do if your husband refuses to get a job? When you don't like the way he's parenting the kids? How do you know when you've become a controlling or manipulative wife? God has given you a powerful influence in the life of your husband - but you have to learn...
#414: Good Marriages Often Get Off to a Rocky Start (& Why It’s OK)
Even good marriages can get off to a rocky start. In this episode, Ray and Robyn McKelvy, now married over 30 years, share their...
Bonus! #384: Do You Empower Your Husband or Enable Him? (The Difference is BIG)
Nobody said marriage would be easy. It takes great courage, strength and self-control to be the woman God has called you to be in...
#383: What Do I Do With Disappointment in Marriage?
Have you tried to "fix" problems in your marriage, only to end up feeling distant? Disappointment is common...
#377: How to Care For a Friend (Or Yourself) When the Marriage Doesn’t Survive
Marriages don’t always survive the tough stuff. God still moves. Wounds heal. Addicts find sobriety. Forgiveness is extended. Life...
#376: What Does God’s Word Actually Say About Divorce and Remarriage?
Friends, please note that we don't go into detail about how to recognize abuse in marriage. We have other conversations about...
#346: How to Cope When Your Spouse Struggles With Depression
When you’re married, depression is a shared experience. There is no way to escape the impact of sharing a home...
#327: When Your Spouse Feels More Like a Roommate
Every couple experiences times of disconnection, but when your spouse begins to feel more like a roommate than a lover, it’s easy to...
#70: Stepping up as a Stepmom
Being a stepmom is one of the hardest roles a woman can take on. Because, let's be honest: you fell in love with your husband, you...
#307: On the Brink of Divorce
Susan Cox sat in church, a hotel room key in her purse, and an ongoing affair pushing her to leave her marriage for good. She was...
#33: What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?
Have you ever asked yourself, What's it like to be married to me? What's it like to make love with me? Why do I want to stay mad? ...
#12: Loving Your Husband As You Age
The challenges of married life change as we grow older, and very few people talk about them. That's why Dr. Juli Slattery invited...
For a Better Marriage, Try This
What do you think is the most important element when it comes to marriage?
Q&A: What Does God Say About Divorce?
What does God say about divorce? Juli unpacks this layered topic.
#489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First
Is divorce the best option for you? Toni and Carey Nieuwhof discuss Toni’s book, “Before You Split.”
#386: What’s the Secret To Getting the Marriage & Intimacy You Want? Go Vertical
Guests Dave and Ann Wilson join Juli in this special bonus episode as they share how God transformed their marriage from the top down.
#466 Enough is Enough: Recognizing and Combating Abusive Relationships
Is there a difference between a bad relationship and a harmful one? How can you spot the difference, both in your own relationships and those of your friends and family?
Join Juli and Dr. David Clarke as they discuss how to recognize abuse patterns of behavior, how to set boundaries, and when necessary, how to get out and create safety elsewhere.
#462 Beautiful Union: How Our Sexuality Reveals God’s Heart for Covenant Love
What if sex and gender are not as arbitrary as many people tend to think? Is it possible that God has woven holy significance into our very DNA as gendered, sexual beings? In this episode, Juli sits down with author Joshua Butler to talk about his book, “Beautiful Union”, and the ways we can see God’s gospel message evidenced in everything from the beauty of a sunset to our own sexuality.
#391: Make Your Relationship Better With a Few Intentional Habits
Relationships naturally find ruts. With our natural bent toward self-love, we easily get stuck focusing on our own needs or...
#389: Thinking About Becoming a Blended Family?
Blended family couples have honeymoon phases too!—they just usually come a little later. Even the strongest couples will face...
#371: Schedule Sex and Dry Cleaning In the Same Conversation? It Works
Being intentional about the business of marriage builds intimacy. When couples make decisions together, their emotions and buy-in...
#362: How To Become a Better “Better Half” with Jamie Ivey
A complement, according to Webster, is “something that fills up, completes, or makes better or perfect.”...
#357: Emotional Safety: What It Is and Why You Need It
What is emotional safety? Look at it this way: an emotionally unsafe relationship is a place where you can’t be yourself. You’re...
#341: When Staying Married Feels Impossible
Circumstances in Laurie’s life started triggering her memories of childhood sexual abuse. Her lifelong struggle...
#322: The Secret Superpower of Kindness
Think about your toughest relationship: The wife who only ever seems to offer you the cold shoulder. The husband you’re finding it...
#222: What’s Your Money Personality?
The two biggest areas of conflict in marriage are sex and money. We talk a lot about sex on Java with Juli, but today we're talking...
Webinar: When Marriage Gets Messy (Healing after Infidelity)
You may not be in the middle of an affair, but we all have to deal with sin in our relationships. It's easy to turn to other sources of comfort and avoid having hard conversations with your spouse. As your resentment builds, your heart drifts. Thankfully, Jesus has...
#293: Secrets to a Lasting Relationship
Dating has changed. A LOT. In the last decade, cohabitation, sex, and sexual experimentation have been touted as the best ways to...
#55: When Marriage Won’t Get Better
What do you do when your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, but your spouse won't work on it, no matter...
#281: Growing Closer Through Conflict
There’s no such thing as instant intimacy. Love at first sight? Perhaps. But intimacy is something else entirely. It takes years to...
#280: When Submission Becomes Controlling
Sarah got married believing that absolute submission to her husband would glorify God; making Him, her and her man happy. Only, she...
Where Do You Run When Marriage Gets Lonely?
It’s one thing to be lonely when you are single, wondering if and when God will ever bring the right guy. It’s another matter for your heart to ache with loneliness when the “right guy” is living in your home and sleeping in your bed. If this is your reality, please...
#266: Your Marriage, God’s Design
What do you want out of marriage? If you’re like most of us, you hope for love, companionship, passion and other good things that...
#11: When Work & Marriage Intersect
When you and your spouse have separate (but equally important) callings that pull you in different directions, who yields?...
#253: Making the Gospel Beautiful Through Relationships
How do we foster relationships that show the world that the Gospel is not just beautiful, it's also...
#249: Overcoming Differences With Your Spouse
Opposites attract... for a little while. Then those cute, quirky things that attracted you to your spouse early on...
Your Husband Needs You Too
I vividly remember life as it was about 15 years ago. A newborn, a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old, all boys. Most mornings, I woke up to someone crying or pleading for breakfast. From the time my feet hit the ground until I went to bed, someone needed me. I was acutely...
#157: Why He Wants to be Your Hero
Men are simple—or at least that’s what you’ve been led to believe. Give them food, sex, perhaps throw...
#47: Loving Your Husband as You Age
The challenges of married life change as we grow older, and very few people talk about them. That's why Dr. Juli Slattery had...
#41: Divorce and Remarriage
Java with Juli doesn’t shy away from the tough issues! Join Dr. Juli Slattery as she discusses two of the most polarizing topics in...
#121: How Separation Can Strengthen Your Marriage
Separation is often the last step before divorce. But what if it was the first step toward reconciliation instead? By...
#120: What to Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Want to Grow Up
“I feel like I’m married to a child!” says the woman who claims her husband just won’t grow up....
#116: How to Love Your Husband with Your Whole Heart
Very few of us go to the altar and vow to give our husbands "most of" our hearts. On our wedding day we’re all in! But after the...
#100: A Marriage and Faith Wake Up Call
Have you ever gotten to the point where you think, I don't know if I can do this anymore? We all...
#514 How Deconstruction and Divorce Rocked a Young Couple’s Life
Chris and Stephanie Teague, the musical duo behind Out of the Dust, share how their marriage fell apart and how God put it back together.
Q&A: How do I Connect with my Emotionally Disconnected Husband?
Got an emotionally disconnected spouse? Hear what Juli says about how to connect.
#500 Sex, Faith and Family: Conversations Every Couple Should Have Pre-Marriage
Are you ever really ready for marriage? Are there certain conversations couples should have prior to engagement? Scott Kedersha weighs in.
#478 How To Love And Lead Your Adult Kids With Jim Burns
How do you parent adult kids after they leave the nest? Dr. Jim Burns, president of the organization HomeWord, shares his experience and expertise.
#477 In-Laws or Outlaws? How to Handle The Challenge of Setting Boundaries with In-Laws
When does parental guidance become overreaching interference? How do couples set boundaries? And how do in-laws give kids space to form strong marital foundations?
#471 How to Understand, Celebrate, and Leverage Neurological Differences in Relationships
There are always differences in relationships – differences in culture, differences in family of origin, differences in communication and conflict style – but what if you and someone you love just think differently? The thing is, while we may live in a world designed for neurotypical people, the world is full of people who are neurodivergent; those of us who process, learn, experience and interact with the world in ways not considered typical.
#392: Want To Know Juli and Mike Better? This Is Your Episode!
Juli takes off her "author and psychologist" hat! Hannah Nitz turns the tables on Juli and Mike to hear how they met, how they...
#354: How To Keep Rhythm & Romance in Your New COVID Normal
You learned to navigate close quarters, perfected family game night, and homeschooled your kids. As your community reopens, how do...
#320: Bonus! Looking for the Spark in Your Marriage?
Thanks to COVID-19, you and your spouse have likely spent a lot of time together the last five months—but that doesn't necessarily...
Did He Pass the Test?
This morning, I met with a group of friends to encourage each other in our marriages. As we talked, one of the women described her discouragement when her husband failed to text her during the day about something that was important to her. “He knew my sister was going...
#299: Making Marriage Fun! (Even When It’s Hard)
Marriage can be hard, but it doesn’t have to stop being fun! Arguments, grief, or even just the busyness of life...
Helping Your Husband Grow UP
We’ve written before about the growing trend of husbands who would rather play their Xbox or Nintendo Switch—or spend hours glued to ESPN, oblivious of your screaming child and leaking roof—than step into adult responsibilities. Whatever the scenario, the burden of...
A Perfect Marriage
Mike and I recently attended a wedding. The bride was stunning, and the groom gleamed with pride. Not a dry eye in the place. Weddings are beautiful—not just because of the music, flowers, dresses, and tuxes, but also because they represent young, unblemished love....
Is There Really a 7-Year Itch?
My husband and I are leading a Bible study with mostly newlywed couples. After a few weeks, we noticed how often we referred to the seven-year-something . . . itch? pit? slump? The other couples in the group started nervously teasing about what terrible blockade may...
Your Spouse Doesn’t Complete You
When is the last time you felt disappointed by your marriage? Notice that I asked when, not if. Disappointment is a normal part of any relationship, but it hits us particularly hard in marriage. We live in a day and time when marriage is presented as an answer for...
Loving a Broken Man (Or Woman)
Gary Thomas has been a guest on Java with Juli multiple times and also joined us for our webinar "Having a Mission-Focused Marriage." He is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the...
#48: My Controlling Spouse
If you are fearful or hesitant to share your true thoughts with your spouse, you may be in an unhealthy pattern with a controlling spouse. What are the red flags, and how can you change things? Very few couples know how to address this issue, but it can be a fatal...
#221: Conversations You Should Be Having About Money
How important is it for us to get out of debt? Should we give to our church? Where is the balance between having faith...
#223: Counseling: When & Why You Should Go
Marriage counseling sounds intimidating... and expensive. So why should you go? (Surely you can sort things out...
#208: The Forgiveness & Intimacy Link
Have you ever sabotaged a relationship because you think you deserve to be unhappy? Are you bitter toward a spouse who has already...
#204: Managing Your Expectations in Marriage
Once I am married I’ll always feel loved. I’ll never be lonely. Sex will be fantastic because I waited....
#194: Enjoying Date Nights With Your Spouse
Regardless of how long you’ve been married, date nights are still important! In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli talks with Dr....
#2: Unleashing the Power of Woman
What’s the difference between having power or being controlling in marriage? How do you have influence...
#172: My Husband Isn’t My Best Friend
When you say “I do”, are you also promising to be your spouse’s best friend? Is it important to think...
#167: People Are More Important Than Marriage
“If the cost of saving a marriage is destroying a woman, the cost is too high.” When Gary Thomas, author of the best-selling book...
#165: How to Talk with Your Spouse About ANYTHING
Some things aren’t worth talking about. Whenever you bring them up with your spouse, you end up in an argument....
#164: How to Work Through Missed Expectations in Marriage
Marriage doesn’t always turn out the way you think it will. Maybe your husband isn’t quite the gentleman he...
#61: The Husband Project
Not happy in your marriage? Wish that your husband would be “_____”? Join Juli and her guests for...
#38: When the Honeymoon Is Over
When marriage isn’t everything you thought it would be, how do you respond? This is an honest conversation about loving your spouse...
#26: Spiritual Battle in Marriage
Marriage is a reflection of the degree of intimacy God wants with His children, so of course the Enemy is going to target it for...
#23: Understanding the “S” Word
For some women, the idea of submitting to their husband sends shivers up and down their spine. In this discussion with author Sara...
#17: How Kids Change Marriage
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage…”—THEN WHAT? The reality of children changing the...
#13: Insights on In-Laws
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley join Dr. Juli Slattery to discuss the good, the great, the bad and the ugly aspect of dealing...
#113: Why Friendships In Marriage Are Important
Juli, Linda, and Hannah discuss the importance of married couples having other married couples in their lives. Not only...
The Very Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting
I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to...
#511 Why You Need to Laugh More
Comedian, author and Pastor Ted Cunningham is Juli’s guest this week, explaining the health and relational benefits of laughter.
#491 Why Debates About Women’s Roles Might be Missing the Point
Dr. Michelle Lee-Barnewall explains why debates on the roles of women often miss God’s heart for His Church.
#475 Why Empathy, Inner Healing, and Teamwork Are at the Heart of Building Intimacy
Sean and Lanette Reed join Juli in this episode to discuss how humility, faith, and empathy, helped them bridge gaps to create true intimacy.
I Love Being Bitter: How We Grow Bitter and 3 Ways to Overcome
The Bible warns against bitterness, but how do we prevent bitterness from growing in our hearts? Hannah Nitz shares her heart on the blog.
#467 Yes, Your Marriage Is Worth Fighting For (Here’s How to Save It)
While it may be the case that many people view marriage as a periphery issue, Juli’s guest, Pastor John McGee, argues that the way we love one another in marriage is one of the ways in which our faith is truly evident — “Marriage teaches us about the gospel, and the gospel teaches us about marriage.” Tune in to today’s episode of Java with Juli to discover some of what is missing in common teaching on marriage, and how leaning into the truth of the gospel equips us to love better, not just in marriage, but in all our relationships.
#255: Practicing Patience in Your Blended Family
If you're not part of a blended family, you probably love someone who is. Join Dr. Juli Slattery as she sits down with Ron Deal,...
Webinar: Keeping the Romance Alive
This is a webinar for you and your spouse! Dr. Juli Slattery is joined by her husband, Mike. Mike and Juli talk through practical advice and honest barriers when it comes to keeping the romance alive in your marriage along with answering your questions in a live...
Webinar: His Brain, Her Brain
Our world is always telling us men and women are not different, but is that true? In this webinar, Dr. Walt & Barb Larimore will discuss how gender differences don't just exist--they are an important part of who God created us to be. You'll also learn how the...
Webinar: Having a Mission-Focused Marriage
When Gary Thomas wrote Sacred Marriage, he challenged the ideas many of us had on what's most important in our marriages. During this conversation, Hannah Nitz asks Gary to share his wisdom on making your marriage more "mission-focused." What does it look like to not...
Your Marriage Should Be Fun
Someone once asked my husband, Mike, “What’s it like being married to a psychologist?” Mike answered, “It’s great. I get to sleep with my therapist.” In all seriousness, there are some very frustrating things about having a wife who is a psychologist. Probably the...
#193: Loving Your Husband Well
How do you respect your husband when you don't respect his behavior? Are you trying to change your good husband into a perfect...
Webinar: Give Your Husband the Benefit of the Doubt
After a few years of marriage, it's easy to form a list of things that frustrate us about our spouse. When they make a mistake, drop the ball, or don't meet our expectations, it becomes tempting to roll our eyes and start to expect mistakes. Author and speaker Erin...
#190: Practical Ways to Love Your Husband
You have great influence in your husband's life. In your unique position, you can either tear him down or build him...
Webinar: When You & Your Spouse Disagree
If you're living with another person and sharing life with them, conflict is definitely going to happen. But could you believe that fighting could be good for marriage? Join Hannah as she talk with Greg & Erin Smalley and they share from their experience as...
Webinar: Why Your Husband Needs You
Many women would use the word "helper" to describe their role as a wife, but why is being an encourager so important? Dr. Juli Slattery and Shaunti Feldhahn will address the vitally important message of encouraging your husband, and how vulnerable our men are to...