After a betrayal, how can you know if your spouse is truly repentant? Juli unpacks a recent conversation with Jeremy Smith, LPC, as he shares what to look for.
Your Healing Journey
Q&A: Will I ever be able to heal from sexual trauma?
Is the fight to heal from sexual trauma as hopeless as it often feels?
How To Rebuild Intimacy After Infidelity
Should a couple who experienced infidelity give up on sex? Or is there a way to approach sex that feels safe and honest for both parties?
Is Forgiveness Necessary for Healing?
Is there a connection between healing and the unforgiveness that so often fills our hearts?
#526 How God Heals Us From Past Abuse and Trauma
Jennifer Michelle Greenberg shares her journey of healing and processing after decades long abuse at the hands of her father.
#521 How to Know if Your Marriage can Recover from Betrayal
Jeremy Smith, LPC discusses how he is helping couples heal their marriages and achieve deep, lasting change as individuals and together.
I Was Sexually Abused. Now, God Is Restoring My Identity
How does sexual abuse impact the way we view ourselves? A sexual abuse survivor shares her journey towards healing.
#514 How Deconstruction and Divorce Rocked a Young Couple’s Life
Chris and Stephanie Teague, the musical duo behind Out of the Dust, share how their marriage fell apart and how God put it back together.
#512 Friends Who Hurt Us: How To Recognize Unlikely Sources Of Abuse
Tricia Lott Williford and Jana Richardson join Juli to talk about how to recognize, fight, and recover from abuse in all its forms.
#510 Influencer Anh Lin on Overcoming Trauma and Living a Beautiful Life
Accidental influencer and author of “Forever Home”, Anh Lin, shares her story of journeying through trauma and brokenness to healing.
#509 Workaholism And Infidelity Almost Led To Divorce, But A Miracle Saved Their Marriage
Join Juli, David and Terri, as the couple talk about how God’s intervention saved and restored their marriage.
#506 How To Make Sense Of Grief And God’s Goodness
Pastors Ed and Lisa Young of Fellowship Church join Juli for a moving, faith-filled conversation about the loss of their daughter, Lee-Beth.
#498 The Surprising Thing You’re Missing In Your Healing Journey
Could it be that there is more to spiritual formation than simply knowing and learning the right things?
#497 Trying to Heal? Here’s Why Knowing Your Story is Essential
Join Juli and Hannah as they revisit some common themes, topics and questions from this year’s most insightful Java with Juli episodes.
#492 How Human Trafficking Causes Us to Rethink What We Believe About God
Author Charles Martin unpacks some of the realities of human trafficking, what it means to be broken, and what it takes to find freedom.
#490 How Do You Go From Being Stuck in Bondage to True Freedom?
What does it really take to go from death to life? How are we truly transformed? Jonathan Daugherty joins Juli to discuss his new book.
#257: How Trauma Affects Our Bodies & Souls
Whether you’ve experienced physical or emotional trauma, it always leaves a mark. Susie Larson joins Juli to discuss the path to healing when trauma runs deep.
Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?
How do you know if your spouse is repentant after a betrayal?
#487 How to Cling to God When Your World is Falling Apart
How do you cling to your faith in God when life gets hard? What does it look like to have an unshakeable faith? And how do you cultivate it?
Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity
While we do need to reject the legalism of purity culture, Juli explains that boundaries still help us embrace godliness with our sexuality.
#480 How to Heal and Rebuild Trust and Sexual Intimacy After An Affair
Why do people cheat? And is it possible to reconcile after you or your spouse has been unfaithful? Juli is joined by Jessica McDaniel, LPC.
Contentamiento: cómo vivir con gozo a través de los altibajos de la vida
Si todo en tu vida siguiera siendo exactamente como es en este momento, ¿crees que aún podrías ser verdadera y profundamente feliz? Como mujer soltera, esto era algo que estaba acostumbrada a preguntarme. Después de todo, el matrimonio no era una certeza. Sin...
Q&A: Past Sexual Trauma Inhibits My Ability to Enjoy Sex. Is There Hope That I Can Ever Heal?
When trauma is in your past, is sexual enjoyment possible?
Contentment: How to Live Joyfully Through the Ups and Downs of Life
If everything in your life were to remain exactly the way it is in this current moment, do you think you could still be truly, deeply happy? As a single woman, this was something I was used to asking myself. After all, marriage was not a certainty. What surprised me...
Q&A: How Do I Learn to Trust My Spouse Again After an Affair?
How do you learn to trust again when your spouse has had an affair?
#459 How Sexual Abuse Affects You (And Why God Is Still Trustworthy)
“What happened to me wasn’t rape.” “I didn’t stop it right away.” “I shouldn’t have been at that party in the first place.”
If you’ve ever had thoughts like these, about yourself or someone else, your definition of sexual abuse is too narrow. Join us to learn what sexual abuse is and what consent isn’t. (And, if you’ve never been a victim of sexual assault, trust us, you know someone who has. This conversation is for you, too.)
#458 Why Women Are Leaving the Church (And How To Find Your Way Back)
In the last ten years, some 16 million women have stopped going to church. Are you one of them? Join us for a conversation about why we’ve been rethinking church—and why it may be time for you to go back.
Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!
My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it. My wife and I got married about...
#456 Overcoming Father Wounds: Trading My Pain for God’s Perfect Love
Kia Stephens knows many women (like herself) who looked to the arms of other men for the affirmation they longed to receive from their fathers. You’ll love her humor, wisdom, and vulnerability as she shares how she traded the pain of what her earthly father couldn’t give her for the perfect love of her heavenly Father.
Why We Don’t Experience Victory
I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other people who feel similar discouragement...
Q&A: Where Do I Begin Healing?
Where do you start in your healing journey?
#446: How Much More of Your Sexuality Will You Let God Reclaim in 2023?
Juli shares her thoughts on 2022, on having hard conversations about sexuality, and how to ask God to use painful...
#445: Give the Gift of Seeing the Good in What You Have
Seeing the good in all things does not mean ignoring the bad. Rather, as we approach the hard things, we see the...
#444: A Heart Set Free From Shame and Lies Is a Gift
Open the gift that allows you to experience real intimacy. Our long-awaited Savior came to set us free from sin and shame. Will you exchange your heart for His?
#442: How To Find Peace and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety
Linda Dillow shares about the loss of her daughter during the pandemic, how God used the message of “Calm My Anxious Heart” to...
#441: Understanding God’s Heart for Food and Freedom
Are you ready to end that toxic relationship in your life — your love-hate relationship with food? No more...
#438: How Your Story Becomes Sacred in the Hands of Jesus
Glenn Packiam joins Juli to talk about how the biblical metaphor of ordinary table bread reveals God’s...
#416: How God Uses Heartache to Prepare You for Your True Calling
Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel join Juli to share about Redeeming Heartache—a new book and tool (think Enneagram or DISC) to...
#411: The Unlikely Means God Uses To Bring Beauty From Ashes
What are the unlikely (often unwelcome) means that God uses to heal us? Join us to find out and discover the power of being fully...
How Do I Know If I’m in an Abusive Relationship?
On the surface, they looked like a perfect Christian couple. Always together, with his arm around her waist. Her friends would admit to feeling a bit jealous. Abby never goes anywhere without Jake; he’s so attentive. I can barely get my husband to notice that I’m in...
#409: Divorce & Remarriage (Abuse, Infidelity, Porn & All the Hard Things)
God's word is clear on marriage; but some of us are a little fuzzy on the divorce and remarriage part. What exactly does "sexual...
“God Doesn’t Care” and 3 Other Lies You Might Believe About Sex
I’ll never be able to kick porn for good! I hate sex. I’ll never be able to enjoy it with my husband. I’m damaged beyond repair. I can’t have a great sex life if I don’t have a beautiful body. Have thoughts like these ever crossed your mind? If so, where do you think...
#402: If God Made My Body “Good,” Why Does It Cause So Much Pain?
Juli is joined by author and apologist Sam Allberry to share how we can reconcile the goodness of our bodies (which are created by...
#398: How Trauma-Informed Care Helps Your Brain, Body & Relationships
“Trauma-informed care” is more than just a pop psychology buzzword. Join Juli and her guest to learn about the experiences that we...
#395: How to Be Intentional to Care For Your Mental Health & Wellness
One in 3 Americans report experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. How about you? In this conversation, Dr. Juli Slattery and...
3 Razones por las que puedo correr a Dios con mi quebrantamiento sexual
Mi invitada en el blog esta semana es Julia Mitchell. Julia es la Coordinadora de Participación de Usuarios y Miembros para Authentic Intimacy. Para mí, esta pregunta es donde todo comienza: ¿Puedo realmente confiarle a Dios todo, incluyendo mi sexualidad? Todavía me...
#65: Why Healing Takes Time, with Francine Rivers
Juli sits down with author Francine Rivers to hear how her own story of brokenness and healing after an abortion...
3 Reasons I Can Run To God With My Sexual Brokenness
This question is where it all begins for me: Can I really trust God with everything, including my sexuality? (Presione aquí para leer en español) I still picture myself in my room that night, tossing and turning, overwhelmed by the anguish in my soul. Gripping the...
#385: How To Wrestle With God Over Questions of Sex & Sexuality
Come deconstruct with us for 40 minutes or so. Yep, that's right. If we can’t ask hard questions about the...
#372: How To Recognize Domestic Abuse
Wearing sunglasses on rainy days. Using turtlenecks to hide choke marks. Running. Hiding. Ramona Probasco never thought she would do...
Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 3
From Sexual Trauma to Sexual Intimacy (It Takes Two) Part 3 in this webinar series In this final conversation, Juli talks with Matt Gutbrod, a sexual abuse survivor, and his wife, Victoria, a marriage and family therapist, about how couples can practice empathy and...
Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 2
What Is Sexual Trauma & How Does It Affect You? Part 2 in this webinar series If you're in Florida, find Aline-Vanya Guillaume at TherapyTerrace.com Sexual Trauma & It's Effect On Marriage an article by Aline-Vanya Guillaume, LPSW Unwanted by Jay...
Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 1
Your Abuse Story: How To Tell, What To Tell, & Why It Matters Part 1 in this webinar series Juli Slattery and Dawn Scott Damon talk about the reasons we don't share our abuse stories. We can be accused of lying or exaggerating. We're met with silence. Our pain is...
Can Shame Ever Be a Good Thing?
“Shame on you!” If you grew up in my generation, this is a sentence you probably heard as a child. You were told that you should be ashamed of the way you treated your sister, for stealing that candy bar, or for talking back. These are also words that I’ve probably...
#360: Feeling Fearful? The Right Kind of Fear Leads to Bravery
When you’re feeling fearful, the last thing you need is a social media meme telling you to “tighten your ponytail and carry on.” A...
#353: Why Telling Your Abuse Story is Complex, Courageous & Healing
Every abuse story has unique layers of complexity and pain. The decision whether or not to tell someone else is often a difficult...
#344: Standing Strong: Tackling Fear, Self-Doubt & Insecurity
Alli Worthington says the popular message that “you are enough” is leaving women feeling overwhelmed and...
La sanidad de Dios apesta
¿Alguna vez has tenido una experiencia en la que Dios ha “revelado” el significado de un pasaje de las Escrituras en tu corazón? Recientemente, Él ha estado haciendo eso en mi corazón con Juan 11. Este es el relato de cuando Jesús resucitó a Lázaro de entre los...
Cómo elegir un consejero sabio
Después de todos tus propios esfuerzos y tus agallas, tus oraciones y búsqueda de consejos, tus lecturas e investigaciones te das cuenta de que lo has intentado todo y aún persistes en tu lucha. Llegaste a ese punto en el que sabes que necesitas...
How to Suffer Well Through Sickness
*Trigger warning, mention of assault and trauma. This past spring, I spent 30 nights alone in the hospital without my loving husband by my side. One night, as I laid in my hospital bed, I thought back on the decision I made to marry him. Little did I know how my...
#336: Disappointed With God? Tell Him
Are you discouraged by what is happening in our world today? Have you recently found yourself asking, “Lord, why have you allowed...
#140: The Story of A Rape Survivor
One of Hettie’s greatest fears was that she would be raped. In her home country of South Africa, it is estimated...
#331: Say Goodbye to Labels
Life is tends to put labels on us. We even pin labels on ourselves. More often than not, these labels are hurtful,...
Relational Revelation
As a Christian psychologist, I sometimes feel like I’m in the crosshairs of pastors and therapists who disagree about the road to healing. Those who study theology and teach the Bible often emphasize the importance of God’s Word and prayer. Christians in the therapy...
I Despise Neediness in Myself
This guest post by Mary DeMuth first appeared here. This is one of those posts I am starting that I don’t know how it will end. During this time of COVID, racial tension, and employment worries, I (like you) have had some space to observe my life. And...
#325: BONUS! When Sex Hurts, Pelvic Floor Therapy Can Help
Past trauma, childbirth, a physical fall—just a few of the MANY reasons you might experience painful sex or sexual dysfunction....
#324: Sex Therapy: What Is It, and Why Should You Go?
Online Christian sex therapy—yes, you read that right. Did you know that there are therapists trained specifically to address issues...
Why Is Healing So Hard?
Tina and I met together for counseling several years ago to work through some traumatic experiences from her past. A year after our work together was done, Tina came in for a “check up.” She shared with me that within that year, she had undergone surgery, radiation,...
Remembering Your Way Out of Discouragement
Have you ever faced a difficult season only to have friends tell you to trust in God? While you know their advice is right, it doesn’t seem very practical. What does it actually look like to trust in God through trials and discouragement? David faced almost every...
#315: Jamie Ivey Wants to Know the Real You
There are things we feel are acceptable to struggle with, and then there are those things we would never say out loud –especially...
Java Pack: Conversations that Heal
This Java Pack is a Christian leader’s guide to addressing sexual pain. As Christians, we often spend a lot of time debating what we should believe about sexuality. We may devote some time to ensuring we are personally honoring God with our own sexual choices....
Webinar: How Can God Be Good If…?
Our beliefs about sexuality begin and end with our beliefs about God. Is He trustworthy? Is His Word reliable? Why wouldn't a loving God embrace me just the way I am? In this webinar, Juli and Dr. Jo Vitale, a Christian apologist, talk about how acknowledging the...
#311: Where Is God When We Suffer?
Sometimes life gets so hard, we doubt that Jesus is still with us. Did he abandon us? Was our faith even real in the...
Taming the Tongue on Groundhog Day
I’ve heard a lot of people comment that life right now feels like the movie “Groundhog Day”—the same thing over and over again with no end in sight. While there are blessings in having our lives slow down, there are also tensions and frustrations that overflow out of...
#40: Bonus! What Do You Fear?
The COVID-19 pandemic is pushing all of our anxiety buttons; loss of loved ones, financial loss, being stuck inside...
#306: When You Can’t Wait Another Day
What do you do when you find yourself in a situation you don't like, didn't sign up for, and can't wait to be done with? (Social...
Don’t Waste the Pain
Practically every conversation I’ve had in the last week has contained a phrase like, “These are strange times.” Strange times, indeed. Never in our lives have we walked through so much uncertainty. Our health, careers, and security all seem to be dangling on a...
#298: Bonus! Sexual Identity is Big, Identity As a Child of God is Bigger
In this episode, Juli continues her conversation with Laurence Koo. Join them as they discuss the tension created when so much of...
#297: Finding Freedom in the Midst of Brokenness
Many gay Christians feel they must either deny their sexual feelings in order to be accepted by God or embrace the idea that God...
#296: An Insider’s Story of Human Trafficking
Have you ever wondered why U.S. trafficking victims don’t just run? Do you feel compassion for child victims, but...
Learning To Be a Promise-Breaker
Has anyone ever told you that it may be healthy to break your promises? No, I’m not talking about going back on your word or taking your wedding vows lightly. I’m referring to a different category of vows … the kind of promises that people rarely acknowledge. Our...
#291: Will You Trade Your Comfort Food for The Comforter?
Are you a sugar addict? Do you run to the pantry each afternoon to get you through your day? Do you turn to Starbucks...
#288: Max Lucado Says #MeToo
Max Lucado has never pretended to be something he’s not. The beloved author and pastor has always been open about his struggles. But...
#287: Does God Want Me to Have Good Self-Esteem?
How do I convince myself and everyone else that I’m worthy of being loved? That may not be what the question...
#283: I Was the Abuser
Are you, or someone you love, a recovering sex offender? If so, this conversation is for you. In this...
#282: How Shame Impacts Us
Shame is becoming popular… in a good way. More than ever, both Christian and secular voices are calling out the messages that...
Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder
We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a...
#279: Why You Feel Shame When Your Spouse Cheats
A betrayed spouse often feels as much (or more) shame as their partner. In this episode Juli welcomes Dr. Sheri...
#277: Children, Teens, and Sexual Abuse
Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere and predators are typically someone a child already trusts. If your child is...
Shame Doesn’t Have the Final Word
Most women bask in the comment “You look so young!” but not Jeni. Why? Because she is young … too young to be the mom of a six-year-old girl. When Jeni goes to her daughter’s kindergarten class, she feels out of place with every other mom, many of whom are more than a...
#274: Vulnerability, Infidelity & God’s Redemption
For Jessica McDaniel, infidelity as a woman meant double the shame. In this episode, she shares the lies she believed as a teenager...
#273: Tell Someone You’re Broken
If you’re ever going to heal, you have to tell someone you’re broken. In this episode of Java with Juli, our guest shares how he...
#272: From Sexual Exploitation to Freedom (Harmony’s Story)
According to our guest, most women in the sex industry want to escape but have no other means for survival. As an abused child, rape...
#271: The Truth (and Lies) About Infertility
One in seven couples struggles with infertility --and it's easy to make some pretty hurtful assumptions about them...
#270: Winning the Battle in Your Mind
Sometimes the most difficult battles we face are the ones that rage within our own hearts and minds. In this episode, Juli gets...
#265: The Hard (and Hopeful) Truth About Losing a Spouse
“God created our bodies to become one in marriage in a very physical and neurological way. When that is suddenly...
Webinar: Surprised by the Healer
You may have heard Juli say, "We are all sexually broken." So how do we get "fixed?" Pursuing healing may involve counseling, God's Word, and having trustworthy friends around you, but ultimate healing comes when we encounter the Healer Himself. Join Dr. Juli Slattery...
#261: Bravery Means Being the Real You
You’re braver than you think. Bravery doesn’t always mean running into a burning building. For most...
#254: Sex, Race & Healing: How We’re the Same and Different
There is no magic pill to heal from traumatic sexual experiences. In this episode Juli talks with therapist Dawn Jones about why we...
Webinar: Tackling Shame
One of the most common themes in the questions we receive at Authentic Intimacy is shame. What is it? Where does it come from? How do I get rid of it? Can God really forgive every sin? If so, why do I still have so much shame? In this webinar, we address these issues...