Dr. Kathy Koch explains why foundational biblical beliefs are such a critical element of teaching your kids about sex.
Blog
¿Debería ir a una boda gay?
Pocos temas en el mundo actual son más divisivos en la Iglesia cristiana que la sexualidad.
Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage
There are many Christians who feel uncomfortable with their sexuality. Juli explores possible reasons why and advises on how to overcome it.
How We Become Angry People
As Christians, what is our anger supposed to look like? Juli shares some helpful ways to navigate anger and still glorify God.
5 Things Christians Can Do to Help Overcome Porn Addiction
Dr. Joy Skarka, Authentic Intimacy Program Manager, explains what Christians struggling with porn can do to overcome it.
Superando la adicción a la pornografía: El elemento crucial que puede que te esté haciendo falta
Este artículo fue escrito por uno de nuestros invitados, Jonathan Daugherty, fundador y presidente de Be Broken Ministries.
How To Fight For Integrity In A Hyper-Sexualized World
Juli suggests some steps Christians can take as they pursue Godly living and surrendered sexuality in our hypersexualized world.
Sexual Abuse: How the Church Should Respond
What is the Church’s responsibility in addressing sexual abuse and what steps should we take to prevent it?
I Was Sexually Abused. Now, God Is Restoring My Identity
How does sexual abuse impact the way we view ourselves? A sexual abuse survivor shares her journey towards healing.
How to Bridge the Gap in Mismatched Libidos in Marriage
Juli expands on a popular episode with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn all about how couples can bridge the sexual desire gap.
For a Better Marriage, Try This
What do you think is the most important element when it comes to marriage?
Overcoming Addiction: The Crucial Element You Might Be Missing
What does it mean to be “in Christ,” and how does this lead to healing and freedom?
When Your Adult Child Makes Sexual Choices You Disagree With
What does it look like to love God and love an adult child who has a very different sexual ethic?
How can you Know if You’re Ready for Marriage?
Are you as ready as you think you are for marriage?
Should I Go to a Gay Wedding?
Few topics in today’s world are more divisive in the Christian Church than sexuality.
Dios Dice Que El Sexo Es Para El Matrimonio: Aquí Veremos Porqué
Guardar el sexo para el matrimonio es tan raro que se vuelve noticia cuando una pareja declara públicamente que esta es su intención.
Sexual Entitlement: What it is and Why it is Ruining Your Marriage
Yes, God created sex for marriage, but did He promise it to us?
3 Reasons Why “Faking It” is Making Your Bad Sex Life Even Worse
While faking climax or sexual enjoyment may seem like a solution when you don’t like sex, it’s not a healthy long-term strategy. Here’s why.
How To Heal And Grow: Four Surprising Pathways To Christ-Likeness
What would it look like to pursue freedom, healing and spiritual growth while embracing the way God designed you?
God Says Sex is For Marriage – Here’s Why
More and more Christians having sex outside of marriage, but is this in line with what God’s word says?
Purity Culture Failed Men Too
A male perspective on some of the negative fallout of purity culture.
Why Sexual Maturity Matters More Than Sexual Experience
What if the key to understanding sexual matters begins with knowing God’s word, trusting Him, and growing in self-control?
How The American Church Reinforces Isolation and Why That Needs to Change
What if one of the most important things about church is not what happens at meetings but what happens between them?
3 Subconscious Beliefs You May Hold About Living With Same-Sex Attraction
Scripture reveals that the way we think shapes our actions, but have you given thought to what and how you think about our sexuality?
5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband’s Porn Problem
Juli challenges wives to reject blame and consider biblical teaching on responding to the painful sins of those we love.
4 Lies the Movies Told Us About Sex and The Truths You Need to Know
Have you learned and adopted more beliefs about sex from the movies than you realize?
Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity
While we do need to reject the legalism of purity culture, Juli explains that boundaries still help us embrace godliness with our sexuality.
Un Mapa Hacia la Integridad Sexual en Medio del Quebrantamiento Sexual
¿Quieres saber cuál es la pregunta que no me deja dormir? Es la siguiente: ¿Cómo puedo honrar a Dios con mi sexualidad en medio de mi quebrantamiento sexual y mis deseos insatisfechos? En Authentic Intimacy, a menudo usamos el término integridad sexual en lugar...
If I’m Free, Why Can’t I Do What I Want? And Other Ways We Misunderstand Freedom
There are significant differences between the way the Bible and the world talk about freedom, so what does it really mean to live freely?
Contentamiento: cómo vivir con gozo a través de los altibajos de la vida
Si todo en tu vida siguiera siendo exactamente como es en este momento, ¿crees que aún podrías ser verdadera y profundamente feliz? Como mujer soltera, esto era algo que estaba acostumbrada a preguntarme. Después de todo, el matrimonio no era una certeza. Sin...
Sexual Discipleship®: What Is It, and Why Is It Important?
What is sexual discipleship, why is it the heart and mission of Authentic Intimacy, and how do we live it out?
Preaching to the Sexually Hurting
How does a preacher minister to the sexually hurting from the pulpit? Dr. Sam Serio has some key insights.
Help! I Know I Need to Talk to My Teenager About Sex, but How Do I Do It?
Want to share the good news about God’s design for sexuality with your teen? Start with creating a strong relational connection.
I Love Being Bitter: How We Grow Bitter and 3 Ways to Overcome
The Bible warns against bitterness, but how do we prevent bitterness from growing in our hearts? Hannah Nitz shares her heart on the blog.
Contentment: How to Live Joyfully Through the Ups and Downs of Life
If everything in your life were to remain exactly the way it is in this current moment, do you think you could still be truly, deeply happy? As a single woman, this was something I was used to asking myself. After all, marriage was not a certainty. What surprised me...
Sexual Integrity: The Heart of Sexually Discipling Your Kids
Today’s Christian parents often feel torn between the cultural messages of sex positivity and traditional church teachings about saving sex for marriage, both of which seem fraught with potential challenges and pitfalls. While cultural messages are at odds with God’s...
Integridad Sexual: El Corazón de Discipular Sexualmente a tus Hijos
Muchas veces los padres cristianos de hoy se sienten divididos entre los mensajes culturales de la positividad sexual y las enseñanzas tradicionales de la iglesia sobre guardar sexo para el matrimonio, ya que ambos parecen estar llenos de desafíos y peligros...
5 Reasons You’re Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and How to Overcome Them)
Over the past decade, I have physically stood in front of more than 100,000 people to teach on sexuality. It is literally my job to talk about sex. But here’s a little secret. The most difficult conversations I have had about sex have been with my own children. It has...
5 Razones Por Las Cuales No Hablas Con Tus Hijos Sobre El Sexo (y Cómo Superarlas)
En la última década, me he parado físicamente frente a más de 100,000 personas para enseñar sobre la sexualidad. Mi trabajo literalmente consiste en hablar de sexo. Pero aquí hay un pequeño secreto. Las conversaciones más difíciles que he tenido sobre sexo han sido...
Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How
My husband had just returned home with our youngest son after a weekend away for the sex talk. Christian, eleven at the time, sheepishly told me, “Mom, I feel like I’m too young to know all these things about sex.” I reassured him, “I know how you feel, but Dad and I...
Hablando a Tus Hijos Sobre el Sexo: Por qué, Cuándo, y Cómo
Mi esposo recien habia regresado a la casa con nuestro hijo menor después de un fin de semana fuera para una charla sobre el sexo. Christian, con once años en ese momento, tímidamente me dijo, “Mamá, me siento demasiado joven para saber todas estas cosas sobre el...
Does God Want Me to Love Myself?
This is potentially the most controversial blog I have ever written. As I’ve often stated, the Bible isn’t primarily offensive because of what it says about our sexuality. It is offensive because of what it says about our humanity. You may disagree with what you are...
Why Josh Butler’s Book Beautiful Union Matters
If you pay attention to Christian Twitter, you are probably familiar with the online backlash a few weeks ago to the excerpt of Josh Butler’s forthcoming book called Beautiful Union. This short excerpt of a 288 -page book created a firestorm of criticism and dialogue...
Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!
My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it. My wife and I got married about...
Why We Don’t Experience Victory
I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other people who feel similar discouragement...
Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples?
It isn’t uncommon for us to receive questions from married couples asking about a normal frequency for sex. Should they have sex once a week, twice a week, or every day?! We understand that it can be challenging for two people with different levels of desire for sex...
What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires?
“What do I do with my sexual desire?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do...
¿Qué hace que una relación sea íntima?
¿Qué hace que una relación sea íntima? Hace unos años, estaba hablando en un campus universitario sobre el diseño de Dios para la sexualidad. Durante un descanso, una joven se me acercó con una pregunta. “Dijiste que Dios me creó para la intimidad. ¿No es la intimidad...
What Defines an Intimate Relationship?
A few years ago, I was speaking at a college campus about God’s design for sexuality. During a break, a young woman approached me with a question, “You said that God created me for intimacy. Isn’t intimacy the same thing as having sex?” (Presione aquí para leer en...
How Do I Know He’s “The One”?
Q: Is there one person I'm meant to marry, or should I just choose a good man? A: This question isn't simply a contemplative exercise; it impacts how you approach dating and marriage. However, I think it is the wrong question to be asking. The question of "Is there...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3
One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2
Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body. Sex,...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1
“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...
Sex and the Great Commission
Several years ago, I shared with a friend the vision of Authentic Intimacy. My friend listened patiently and then shared her honest opinion, “Why is it important to help people have better sex lives? Shouldn’t we be spending our time feeding the poor and sharing the...
A Road Map to Sexual Integrity in the Midst of Sexual Brokenness
Do you want to know the question that keeps me up at night? It’s this: How can I honor God with my sexuality in the face of my sexual brokenness and unmet desires? At Authentic Intimacy, we often use words like sexual wholeness or sexual integrity instead of sexual...
Are You a Good Friend? 7 Keys to Building Healthy Friendship
Several months ago, a friend invited me to coffee. After catching up on kids and ministry, I noticed her countenance shift. She obviously was struggling to share something difficult with me. After a few deep breaths, my friend explained how several years ago I had...
How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy
As Roy and Stacy listened to their pastor teach on I Corinthians 7, they began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. “Paul is saying here that a wife is to meet her husband’s sexual needs. If she doesn’t, he may be tempted to seek sex outside of their relationship.”...
Reader’s Corner: “Single, Gay, Christian” by Gregory Coles
Single, Gay, Christian by Gregory Coles is a small, easy-to read book that packs a powerful punch. Coles is exceptionally articulate and does an excellent job of communicating his thoughts and feelings. Coles wrote the book as if he is sharing his ponderings and...
How To Help Little Ones Celebrate How God Made Their Bodies
We're happy to welcome Francie Winslow back to the blog. You can learn more from Francie at her website. I was cuddled up with my youngest son on the couch when the well-known cartoon “Blues Clues” popped up on the screen. Along with flashy colors came a classic tune,...
What To Wear in the Bedroom?
Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...
3 formas en las que amar tu cuerpo construye intimidad en el matrimonio
Mientras estaba de pie frente al espejo, conté la cantidad de cicatrices en mi estómago, esparcidas por todo mi vientre como los rayones de un niño pequeño con un crayón. ¿Cómo podría volver a sentirme...
3 formas de ayudarle a tu esposa a sentirse completamente conocida y amada
Escrito por Zack Skarka. Mi invitado en el blog de hoy es mi ser humano favorito, ¡Zack Skarka! Después de compartir mi lucha con la imagen corporal la semana pasada, invité a Zack a que también contara su versión...
What’s the Most Important Thing the Bible Says About Your Sex Life?
What does the Bible say about sex? If you Google this question, you will find a series of articles discussing a dozen or so Bible passages that clearly address sexual issues like adultery, fornication, same-sex activity, and married sex. While those passages are...
How Do I Know If I’m in an Abusive Relationship?
On the surface, they looked like a perfect Christian couple. Always together, with his arm around her waist. Her friends would admit to feeling a bit jealous. Abby never goes anywhere without Jake; he’s so attentive. I can barely get my husband to notice that I’m in...
3 Ways To Help Your Wife Feel Fully Known and Fully Loved
My guest on the blog today is my favorite human, Zack Skarka! After I shared my struggle with body image, I invited Zack to tell his side of the story too. If you need to share this blog with your husband, please know that I'll be praying for you! Ask God for wisdom,...
3 Ways That Loving Your Body Builds Intimacy in Marriage
As I stood in front of the mirror, I counted the number of scars displayed across my stomach, splattered across my belly like a toddler with a crayon. How could I ever feel beautiful again, let alone sexy? My thoughts were interrupted as my husband came up behind me...
“God Doesn’t Care” and 3 Other Lies You Might Believe About Sex
I’ll never be able to kick porn for good! I hate sex. I’ll never be able to enjoy it with my husband. I’m damaged beyond repair. I can’t have a great sex life if I don’t have a beautiful body. Have thoughts like these ever crossed your mind? If so, where do you think...
6 Thoughts To Help You Discern Truth and Give Grace
Over the past several months, many of you have messaged our team here at Authentic Intimacy asking for my opinion on a recent book or controversy within the Christian community. Most recently, people want my opinion on the new film adaptation of Redeeming Love. You...
Your Questions About Sex Point to Bigger Questions About God
Our sexuality is not an isolated part of who we are, but an integrated aspect of what it means to be created in God’s image and loved by Him. Our sexual questions and pain points connect with our deepest longings and fears. It’s impossible to grapple with our sexuality without also confronting our foundational beliefs about God. Is He good? Is He trustworthy? Does He see me?
Is There Really Such a Thing as “Comfort Sex”?
Our guest today is Francie Winslow. Francie hosts the weekly Heaven in Your Home podcast where she offers fresh, biblical ways of thinking about married sex and what it reveals to us about God. We just endured a brutally exhausting Christmas break. We had high...
3 Ways To Make Sexual Intimacy a Priority in Your Marriage
It’s often said, “Show me your calendar, and I’ll tell you what is important to you.” There are a lot of things we say are important to us but end up taking a back seat to busyness and the distractions that clamor for our attention. Intimacy in marriage is usually one...
3 Razones por las que puedo correr a Dios con mi quebrantamiento sexual
Mi invitada en el blog esta semana es Julia Mitchell. Julia es la Coordinadora de Participación de Usuarios y Miembros para Authentic Intimacy. Para mí, esta pregunta es donde todo comienza: ¿Puedo realmente confiarle a Dios todo, incluyendo mi sexualidad? Todavía me...
What God Wants For Christmas
True confession: the Christmas season overwhelms me. It’s not the busyness, the music, or the parties, but the gift-giving that stresses me out. Gifts are not my love language, so I never know how to answer my husband when he asks what I’d like for Christmas. What...
4 Reasons to Join a Sexual Discipleship® Cohort
Scripture is filled with examples of the importance of working with one another. We learn about iron sharpening iron in Proverbs, how two are better than one in Ecclesiastes, and the metaphor of the body of Christ throughout the New Testament. We need one another in...
3 Reasons I Can Run To God With My Sexual Brokenness
This question is where it all begins for me: Can I really trust God with everything, including my sexuality? (Presione aquí para leer en español) I still picture myself in my room that night, tossing and turning, overwhelmed by the anguish in my soul. Gripping the...
2 Reasons You’re Hesitant to Talk to Your Kids About Sex (But Shouldn’t Be)
My guest on the blog is Amy Davison, co-author of Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality.* She's going to clear up two obstacles that keep parents from teaching their kids a biblical worldview of sexuality. Discipleship is not a word you hear that often outside of...
Church Is Good For You; It’s Time To Go Back
I meet more and more Christians who have simply given up on church. Maybe you are one of them. You’ve been disappointed by a leader, disillusioned by division, or just can’t find a place you belong. Through COVID-19 quarantines, perhaps you settled into a new routine...
3 Reasons To Invite Women Into Conversations About Sexual Brokenness
I opened my door and there she stood. She was nervous. I invited her inside my home, offered her a cup of coffee, and we sat down on my couch. I could see the hesitancy on her face as she fidgeted with her phone. I asked her to tell me a bit about her story. My new...
3 Things I Want You To Know as I Launch a Countercultural Book
A book release. Normally this would be an exciting event. It’s kind of like giving birth to a child that you have nurtured in your womb for nine months. As this one approaches, my excitement is honestly mixed with trepidation. Over twenty years ago, I wrote my first...
Honestamente, ¿cuál es el propósito de tu sexualidad?
Si alguien te pregunta, “¿Cuál es tu opinión en cuanto a vivir con tu pareja sin estar casados?” o “¿Crees que Dios está de acuerdo con el matrimonio gay?” ¿Cómo responderías? Para responder estas preguntas, vas a terminar (sin siquiera darte cuenta) yendo a tus...
When Cancel Culture Invades the Church
Your social media feed is probably filled with examples of the latest person who has been “cancelled” because of something they said years ago or an unpopular position they recently expressed. Being cancelled is a weapon powerful enough to prompt teens to take their...
When Cancel Culture Invades the Church
Your social media feed is probably filled with examples of the latest person who has been “cancelled” because of something they said years ago or an unpopular position they recently expressed. Being cancelled is a weapon powerful enough to prompt teens to take their...
Sexual Attraction Isn’t as Important as You Think, Here’s Why
Within the past few months, several different people have posed questions to me about the importance of sexual attraction. - A young woman asked, “I am in a dating relationship with a great guy. We connect on a lot of levels, but I’m not sexually attracted to him....
¿Qué hago con mis deseos sexuales?
“¿Qué hago con mis deseos sexuales?” He escuchado esta pregunta por parte de hombres y de mujeres, por parte de personas que nunca han estado casadas y por parte de personas que ahora son “solteros de nuevo.” También he escuchado esta pregunta por parte de personas...
Masturbarse: ¿Está mal?
Ya que mi trabajo consiste en hablar con mujeres acerca del sexo, hay pocas preguntas que no haya escuchado y que no haya respondido. Sin embargo, hay una pregunta muy común que no me gusta responder. ¿Está bien masturbarse? Esta pregunta es un...
Six Red Flags You Can’t Ignore in Dating
Are you dating someone and wondering if the red flags you see are reason enough to break up with him or her? Do your friends and family have concerns about the relationship? If you feel in your heart that something is just not right, don’t ignore it. It might be the...
Límites sexuales en la soltería
Cuando las mujeres abordan temas de sexualidad, las preguntas más comunes usualmente tienen que ver con cuáles cosas está bien que una mujer cristiana interactúe y con cuáles no. Quieren saber cuáles son los límites....
Resign As Boss: How To Help Your Husband Lead
This is part three of a three-part series from Juli's book Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited. As recently as a few decades ago, many Christian women believed that in order to be loving wives they had to limit their own personal potential. Loving and...
7 Ways We Unknowingly Sabotage Intimacy in Our Marriages
This is part two of a three-part series from, "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited.”* A wife’s greatest dilemma is that you want your husband to lead, but you want him to lead the way you tell him to. There is a tension between desperately wanting to...
3 Reasons Women Tend To Take Over in Marriage
The first in a 3-part series from "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited."* Author Margo Kaufman once wrote, “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” I’ve experienced this bind. Have you? I desperately want to build the hero in my...
Want Your Marriage To Go the Distance? You’ll Need More Than “Artificial Intimacy”
Here’s a little secret I learned a few years into marriage: I didn’t know if I really loved Mike until I felt no feelings of love toward him. The sense of “feeling love” had to fade away for me to be able to learn how to really love my husband. My friend, and this...
3 cosas que aprendí (y desearía no haberlo hecho) de la pornografía
Cuando estaba en quinto grado, mi amiga abrió mi laptop y me introdujo al mundo de la pornografía. En ese tiempo, yo no sabía que era la pornografía, pero lo que sí supe fue que era...
Can Shame Ever Be a Good Thing?
“Shame on you!” If you grew up in my generation, this is a sentence you probably heard as a child. You were told that you should be ashamed of the way you treated your sister, for stealing that candy bar, or for talking back. These are also words that I’ve probably...
Can You Help Me Understand the “T” in LGBT?
Ask Anything: Interviews with Experts Questions about gender...
What Kind of Lover Are You?
As women, we typically view sex as a way of expressing the love and intimacy we feel in our hearts. It’s definitely a challenge to be sexually intimate when those feelings of love are absent. For the first decade of our marriage, it irritated me when my husband wanted...
Three Things I (Wish I Hadn’t) Learned From Pornography
When I was a fifth grader, my friend opened my laptop and introduced me to pornography. At the time, I didn’t know what pornography was, but I did know that it was something new and exciting. Years would go by before I rediscovered porn. In college, after experiencing...
3 Things Women Want You To Know About Their Addiction to Pornography
As someone who serves in ministry with my own history of struggling with pornography, women often pour out their stories to me with a sigh of relief. While sitting on my living room couch, Jessica shared her struggle with porn: I was exposed to pornography as a first...
4 Things To Remember If Someone You Care About Is “Deconstructing”
“I don’t believe in God anymore. At least not in the God I heard about in church.” Have you heard someone you love make this statement? Have you read similar declarations from people you once admired? According to the Barna institute, this trend is likely to continue....
Is Sex Sabotaging Love in Your Marriage?
Sex and love. They are supposed to go together, right? To hear some people talk, you might think that sex is the most important part of marriage, and if you listened to others, you’d think it really doesn’t matter at all. How important is a healthy sex life to...
7 Reasons Kids Turn To Porn & What You Can Do About It
We invited John Fort, the director of training at Be Broken Ministries, to be our guest writer for this article. John has many years of experience in sexual addiction recovery, both personally and professionally. He is also the author of Honest Talk: A New Perspective...