Blog

How To Rebuild Intimacy After Infidelity

Should a couple who experienced infidelity give up on sex? Or is there a way to approach sex that feels safe and honest for both parties?

Why We Don’t Experience Victory

I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other people who feel similar discouragement...

How To Help Little Ones Celebrate How God Made Their Bodies

We're happy to welcome Francie Winslow back to the blog. You can learn more from Francie at her website. I was cuddled up with my youngest son on the couch when the well-known cartoon “Blues Clues” popped up on the screen. Along with flashy colors came a classic tune,...

How Do We Tell Good From Evil?

Is it wrong to live together before marriage? Does gender really matter? Is it wrong to support gay marriage? These are the types of questions that we often get asked at Authentic Intimacy. Perhaps more than ever, many Christians are confused about right and wrong....

How Pornography Impacts Intimacy and Marriage

Pornography is often framed as a “private” habit, but in reality, porn deeply disrupts the foundation of intimacy and trust in marriage.

The Five Key Bonding Forces in Healthy Relationships

“We have to be actively engaged in running the relationships that we have.” – John Van Epp

Struggling With Sexual Intimacy? You Might Need A “Sex Break”

Is it ever a good idea to take a break from having sex with your spouse? Juli explains why the answer might be yes.

What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires?

“What do I do with my sexual desire?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do...

Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It

The sad truth is that the damage of porn goes far beyond the person consuming it and also affects their relationships, the people in their lives, and culture as a whole.

What’s the Purpose of Your Sexuality, Really?

Every opinion you have about sexual issues is rooted in a larger narrative of what you believe about sex—and ultimately, God.

Breaking Free from Sexual Addiction

Sometimes I joke about things I am "addicted" to. Coffee and dark chocolate are definitely on the list. Honestly, we are all addicted to something—there are things in life we just can't seem to get by without. You may be addicted to your husband's affection, a daily...

Masturbation: Is It Wrong?

Is masturbation wrong?

Masturbation and Widowhood

Many grieving spouses, especially those who experienced joyful sexual intimacy in marriage, are left asking, “What do I do with my sexual desires now?”

How To Get Past Shame From Sexual Sins

Why do we experience shame? Are there ever times when it can be a helpful feeling? Juli shares what to do when we experience shame, and how God’s word brings us hope for the future.

How To Tell if Your Spouse Is Truly Repentant

After a betrayal, how can you know if your spouse is truly repentant? Juli unpacks a recent conversation with Jeremy Smith, LPC, as he shares what to look for.

How The American Church Reinforces Isolation and Why That Needs to Change

What if one of the most important things about church is not what happens at meetings but what happens between them?

How Do I Know He’s “The One”?

Instead of asking the question, “Is this the one I should marry?,” consider these questions.

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3

One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2

The basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body.

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1

“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is both...

A Road Map to Sexual Integrity in the Midst of Sexual Brokenness

Do you want to know the question that keeps me up at night? It’s this: How can I honor God with my sexuality in the face of my sexual brokenness and unmet desires? At Authentic Intimacy, we often use words like sexual wholeness or sexual integrity instead of sexual...

How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy

Rather than a celebration of love, sex has come to represent profound experiences of shame, rejection, and loneliness.

What To Wear in the Bedroom?

Even though I sometimes write and speak on spicing up sex in marriage, this blog is about a different kind of “bedroom clothes.”

When Cancel Culture Invades the Church

Your social media feed is probably filled with examples of the latest person who has been “cancelled” because of something they said years ago or an unpopular position they recently expressed. Being cancelled is a weapon powerful enough to prompt teens to take their...

4 Things To Remember If Someone You Care About Is “Deconstructing”

“I don’t believe in God anymore. At least not in the God I heard about in church.” Have you heard someone you love make this statement? Have you read similar declarations from people you once admired? According to the Barna institute, this trend is likely to continue....

Reader’s Corner: “Embodied” by Dr. Preston Sprinkle

I remember standing in the grocery store checkout line not more than five years ago while listening to a podcast. The host of the podcast suggested that within just a few years, gender would be considered a fluid concept, simply a social construct, by mainstream...

Parenting Through Weakness

Dear Juli, I’m the mom of two teenage girls. I know I need to talk to them about sex but honestly, I don’t know where to begin. My sex life is a mess. My husband and I have relied on porn in our marriage for years. I have abuse in my past that I’ve never dealt with. I...

Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life

A healthy sex life has aspects of both routine and adventure.

Spice Up Your Sex Life

A rescue program for your Covid-dictated sex life.

COVID-19 and Porn: A Quick Fix But No Solution

(Presione aquí para leer en español). Since COVID-19 the pornography industry has seen a massive increase in website traffic. On March 24th, one major site announced that their premium content would be free to all visitors resulting in a massive increase of 18.5%. The...

Don’t Waste the Pain

Practically every conversation I’ve had in the last week has contained a phrase like, “These are strange times.” Strange times, indeed. Never in our lives have we walked through so much uncertainty. Our health, careers, and security all seem to be dangling on a...

When Christians Disagree About Sex

Our commitment to unity must be as clear as our theology of sexuality.

Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 2

I’ve learned sexuality can seem to cause more conflict than unity and more pain than pleasure.

Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 1

Most of us have been told that sex in marriage is important. But why does it matter?

Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder

We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a...

Joshua Harris, Sexuality, and “Deconstructing” Christianity

Recently, the evangelical world has been rocked by the news of Joshua Harris’s decision to leave his marriage and Christian beliefs. Joshua is the bestselling author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and was a well-known spokesperson for the purity movement of the 1990s. A...

Where Do You Run When Marriage Gets Lonely?

Behind the façade of busyness and “family life,” many married women are desperately lonely.

Beyond a Happy Marriage

Perhaps you followed all the advice supposed to strengthen your marriage, yet have never experienced a significant improvement.

How to Choose a Wise Counselor

(Presione aquí para leer en español) All your own efforts and gumption, your prayers and advice-seeking, your reading and research—you've tried it all, and still your struggle persists. You've reached it: the point at which you know you need help. You need a...

¿Es necesario el perdón para la sanidad?

¿Qué dice la Biblia sobre el perdón y nuestro bienestar?

Cómo hablar con tu cónyuge sobre el sexo

¿Por qué nos resulta más cómodo tener sexo que hablar de él?

How To Talk to Your Spouse About Sex

Why is it we’re more comfortable having sex than we are talking about it?

What You Need To Know About Sex Before Your Wedding Night

How can you prepare for wedding night sex if you’ve never had it before? We explore 3 ideas to help you get ready for first-time sex.

Sexual Abuse: How the Church Should Respond

What is the Church’s responsibility in addressing sexual abuse and what steps should we take to prevent it?

I Was Sexually Abused. Now, God Is Restoring My Identity

How does sexual abuse impact the way we view ourselves? A sexual abuse survivor shares her journey towards healing.

How to Bridge the Gap in Mismatched Libidos in Marriage

Juli expands on a popular episode with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn all about how couples can bridge the sexual desire gap.

For a Better Marriage, Try This

What do you think is the most important element when it comes to marriage?

Overcoming Addiction: The Crucial Element You Might Be Missing

What does it mean to be “in Christ,” and how does this lead to healing and freedom?

When Your Adult Child Makes Sexual Choices You Disagree With

What does it look like to love God and love an adult child who has a very different sexual ethic?

How can you Know if You’re Ready for Marriage?

Are you as ready as you think you are for marriage?

Should I Go to a Gay Wedding?

Few topics in today’s world are more divisive in the Christian Church than sexuality.

Dios Dice Que El Sexo Es Para El Matrimonio: Aquí Veremos Porqué

Guardar el sexo para el matrimonio es tan raro que se vuelve noticia cuando una pareja declara públicamente que esta es su intención.

Sexual Entitlement: What it is and Why it is Ruining Your Marriage

Yes, God created sex for marriage, but did He promise it to us?

3 Reasons Why “Faking It” is Making Your Bad Sex Life Even Worse

While faking climax or sexual enjoyment may seem like a solution when you don’t like sex, it’s not a healthy long-term strategy. Here’s why.

How To Heal And Grow: Four Surprising Pathways To Christ-Likeness

What would it look like to pursue freedom, healing and spiritual growth while embracing the way God designed you?

God Says Sex is For Marriage – Here’s Why

More and more Christians are having sex outside of marriage, but is this in line with what God’s word says?

Why Sexual Maturity Matters More Than Sexual Experience

What if the key to understanding sexual matters begins with knowing God’s word, trusting Him, and growing in self-control?

Help! I Know I Need to Talk to My Teenager About Sex, but How Do I Do It?

Want to share the good news about God’s design for sexuality with your teen? Start with creating a strong relational connection.

Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It

The sad truth is that the damage of porn goes far beyond the person consuming it and also affects their relationships, the people in their lives, and culture as a whole.

Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!

There are many reasons why couples are in sexless marriages. In most cases, one or both spouses are not happy about it.

Sex and the Great Commission

Sexuality has historically received very little attention from Christians.

Are You a Good Friend? 7 Keys to Building Healthy Friendship

Several months ago, a friend invited me to coffee. After catching up on kids and ministry, I noticed her countenance shift. She obviously was struggling to share something difficult with me. After a few deep breaths, my friend explained how several years ago I had...

Reader’s Corner: “Single, Gay, Christian” by Gregory Coles

Single, Gay, Christian by Gregory Coles is a small, easy-to read book that packs a powerful punch. Coles is exceptionally articulate and does an excellent job of communicating his thoughts and feelings. Coles wrote the book as if he is sharing his ponderings and...

4 Reasons to Join an AI Leader Cohort

2 Reasons You’re Hesitant to Talk to Your Kids About Sex (But Shouldn’t Be)

My guest on the blog is Amy Davison, co-author of Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality.* She's going to clear up two obstacles that keep parents from teaching their kids a biblical worldview of sexuality. Discipleship is not a word you hear that often outside of...

Masturbarse: ¿Está mal?

Ya que mi trabajo consiste en hablar con mujeres acerca del sexo, hay pocas preguntas que no haya escuchado y que no haya respondido. Sin embargo, hay una pregunta muy común que no me gusta responder. ¿Está bien masturbarse? Esta pregunta es un poco complicada porque...

3 Things Women Want You To Know About Their Addiction to Pornography

As someone who serves in ministry with my own history of struggling with pornography, women often pour out their stories to me with a sigh of relief. While sitting on my living room couch, Jessica shared her struggle with porn: I was exposed to pornography as a first...

“¿La masturbación es pecado?” Puede que estés haciendo la pregunta equivocada

Siempre que hablo con un grupo de personas sobre sexualidad, trato de dejar tiempo para una sesión de preguntas y respuestas anónimas. No importa quién esté escuchando, joven o viejo, hombre o mujer, casado o soltero, estoy segura de que me preguntarán sobre la...

“Is Masturbation a Sin?” You May Be Asking the Wrong Question

(Presione aquí para leer en español.) Whenever I speak to a group of people about sexuality, I try to include time for an anonymous Q&A session. No matter who is listening, young or old, male or female, married or single, I am sure to be asked about masturbation:...

Stop Trying So Hard!

Several years ago, I met with a spiritual mentor with whom I shared an ongoing battle with a particular sin. We had been meeting every month for over a year, yet I was still tempted by the same sin. I didn’t feel like I was making any spiritual progress! I asked her,...

Why Promise Rings and Purity Talks Fall Short

The purity narrative has proven to be ineffective for many, and harmful for others.

Shame Doesn’t Have the Final Word

Most women bask in the comment “You look so young!” but not Jeni. Why? Because she is young … too young to be the mom of a six-year-old girl. When Jeni goes to her daughter’s kindergarten class, she feels out of place with every other mom, many of whom are more than a...

How to Have Tough Conversations

(Presione aquí para leer en español) If you listen to our podcast, Java with Juli, you know that I don’t like small talk. Ever since I was a little girl, I have been able to acutely sense unspoken tension in a room. I’m anxious when I have a conflict with a friend or...

A Perfect Marriage

Wherever you are in your marriage, no doubt you have some scratches and dents too.

A Secret for the Guys

Guys: If you really want to change your marriage, you have to understand where you have power.

Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers

Have you ever wondered why God made you and your husband so different?

Is There Really a 7-Year Itch?

Is the seven-year-itch a real thing? If so, are you doomed to bump into it? And why does it happen in the seventh year?

When Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused

The headlines are filled with horrific accounts of childhood sexual abuse. Behind every headline are children and their parents, families grasping for help and hope through devastating news. We have received many emails from parents who recently discovered that their...

Your Husband Needs You Too

I believe that God created a husband and a wife with needs that cause them to depend on each other.

Pure Sadness and a Better Way Forward

A thoughtful reponse to Pure by Linda Kay Klein.

Your Spouse Doesn’t Complete You

When is the last time you felt disappointed by your marriage? Notice that I asked when, not if.

Loving a Broken Man (Or Woman)

A guest blog by Gary Thomas.

Sexual Pleasure Isn’t Shameful

Why is there such a disconnect for a woman to consider that God cares about her sex life?

Does Your Husband Need Sex?

How do we value the importance of sex within marriage without sex becoming an on-demand obligation?

Parenting as a Team

I want to share with you three paradigm shifts – three keys that helped me as a wife and mom through all of the disagreements on parenting.

The Great Danger: He Can Have My Body, But…

Guest blog by Jerusha Clark.

When Your Kids Look At Porn

As the mom of three sons, there are days I wish I could be parenting in a different era… one in which cell phones did not exist and comic books were more common than pornography. Yet we do not choose the time and place which God inserts us into history. Pornography...

How We Love Each Other

I grew up in a family of six kids, all very close in age. My position as “number five” out of six is probably a huge part of why I became a psychologist. My earliest pictures are often of me in a playpen observing family life. As teenagers, my sisters and I became...

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