Blog

Menopause and Sex: What You Need To Know

Pelvic Health Physical Therapist Heather Marra joins the blog to deepen your knowledge about female sexuality and menopause.

Lo que necesitas saber sobre el sexo antes de tu noche de bodas

Aunque no podemos anticiparlo todo (lo cual es parte de la diversión), puede ser útil saber algunas cosas antes del día de tu boda.

What Can Church Leaders Do to Combat Porn Use in the Church?

Four ways churches can be strengthened and equipped to develop a healthy approach to combating pornography use.

How to Teach Children Healthy Intimacy and Boundaries

We can’t always be with our kids, so how can we be proactive in keeping them safe?

Has God Changed His Mind About Sex?

Cultural ideals around sex and sexuality have shifted over the last 100 years, but does this mean God’s design for sex has shifted as well?

¿Debería ir a una boda gay?

Pocos temas en el mundo actual son más divisivos en la Iglesia cristiana que la sexualidad.

Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage

There are many Christians who feel uncomfortable with their sexuality. Juli explores possible reasons why and advises on how to overcome it.

3 Subconscious Beliefs You May Hold About Living With Same-Sex Attraction

Scripture reveals that the way we think shapes our actions, but have you given thought to what and how you think about our sexuality?

Why Josh Butler’s Book Beautiful Union Matters

Finally, Christians were talking about God and sex, but not exactly in the way I had hoped they would.

Three Things I (Wish I Hadn’t) Learned From Pornography

Here are three things I wish I hadn’t learned from pornography.

Reader’s Corner: “Understanding Sexual Abuse” by Tim Hein

My first response after reading this book was,“This guy doesn’t waste a word!” In 182 pages, Tim Hein addresses some of the most pressing and complex issues related to childhood sexual abuse, while also sharing from his own journey. Tim's official role is that of...

Reader’s Corner: “Talking Back to Purity Culture” by Rachel Joy Welcher

Reader’s Corner: “Pure” by Linda Kay Klein

Why I Went to a Marriage Intensive

No, we are not in a marriage crisis. But we recognize that pride (even of a good marriage or sound mental health) often goes before a fall.

Why the Church Needs to Address Porn for Women

Pornography impacts men and women, yet when was the last time you heard a sermon on porn in your church? When was the last time you heard it specifically address women? Most female porn addicts feel alone and often feel left out of the conversation. Instead of finding...

Words Have Consequences

We live in a day and age in which there is a lot of debate about words. What’s okay to say? What is politically correct? How can we speak in ways that are not offensive? As we discuss issues like politics, racial justice, and sexuality with others, we can feel as if...

Taming the Tongue on Groundhog Day

I’ve heard a lot of people comment that life right now feels like the movie “Groundhog Day”—the same thing over and over again with no end in sight. While there are blessings in having our lives slow down, there are also tensions and frustrations that overflow out of...

Learning To Be a Promise-Breaker

Has anyone ever told you that it may be healthy to break your promises? No, I’m not talking about going back on your word or taking your wedding vows lightly. I’m referring to a different category of vows … the kind of promises that people rarely acknowledge. Our most...

A Hopeless New Year?

Turning my calendar to January 1 is usually refreshing for me. It represents a new year with a clean slate and excitement ahead. So why does ushering in 2020 feel so heavy and discouraging? There are many indications that our culture is quickly moving in a dangerous...

The World Has a Lot To Say About Sex

If you haven’t noticed, our views on sexuality have changed quite a bit over the past 20 years. Americans are far more accepting of behaviors they once considered to be sexually immoral. Cohabitation, having sex outside of marriage, no-fault divorce, viewing...

Escaping the Web of Pride

My dear friend Christine and I were recently talking over a cup of coffee about the battle of pride—how difficult it is to detect and how impossible to conquer. She told me a story that perfectly symbolized the problem: Juli, every morning I go out to my garden and...

Have You Forgotten Who God Is?

In the process of teaching about biblical sexuality, I have at times taken a critical look at traditions Christians have long held as truth. For example, you may have heard a recent Java with Juli episode exploring the missteps and harmful messages of the conservative...

Learning to Say “I Was Wrong”

It never feels good to apologize or own up to our failings.

Another Reminder That Something is Wrong

Several months ago, I got really sick. I was in bed for days with a high fever and chills, a deep cough, and no appetite. I gave the illness several days to run its course, treating my symptoms with Tylenol and cough medicine. When I didn’t get better, my husband took...

How Do I Rebuild Trust After Betrayal?

While a marriage can recover from betrayal, it is not a quick, painless process. Something precious has been broken and needs to be rebuilt.

I’m Single & Have No Sexual Desire

While sexual desire and expression is an important part of marriage, we need to remember that it is not the foundation of marriage.

God Says Not To Judge… Right?

Whenever I write a blog on a controversial sexual issue, I typically hear from people who remind me that God says not to judge other people. Whether I’m teaching about pornography, Fifty Shades of Grey, living together outside of marriage, divorce or homosexuality,...

What’s OK in the Bedroom?

God’s desire is not to limit your enjoyment, but to heighten it.

When You’re Attracted to Someone Who’s Not Your Spouse

Unfortunately, many of us have no idea what to do when someone other than our spouse starts to pay attention to us.

What Should You Do If Your Husband Looks at Porn?

As rampant as pornography and sexual addictions have become, God is still in the business of healing.

A Christian Mom, Her Sexual Addiction, and Forgiveness

Sexual addiction doesn’t always have the face you think it will.

Cómo superar la vergüenza por pecados sexuales

¿Qué dice la Biblia sobre el perdón y nuestro bienestar?

¡Ayuda! ¡Estoy en un Matrimonio sin Sexo!

Mi esposo y yo no hemos tenido relaciones sexuales en dos años. La sequía comenzó después de que tuve a nuestro tercer hijo. Nunca he disfrutado realmente del sexo. Siempre estaba cansada, y simplemente dejé de pensar que valía la pena el esfuerzo. Ahora, ni siquiera...

Cuando tu hijo adulto toma decisiones sexuales con las que no estás de acuerdo

Aquí hay un marco de cuatro cosas que pueden guiarte mientras recorres el difícil camino de criar a un adolescente o adulto joven a través del pecado sexual y el quebrantamiento.

Cómo cerrar la brecha entre deseos sexuales desiguales en el matrimonio

Aunque no es agradable lidiar con desacuerdos sobre las preferencias sexuales, es necesario hablar sobre el sexo.

Is Forgiveness Necessary for Healing?

Is there a connection between healing and the unforgiveness that so often fills our hearts?

Superando la adicción a la pornografía: El elemento crucial que puede que te esté haciendo falta

Este artículo fue escrito por uno de nuestros invitados, Jonathan Daugherty, fundador y presidente de Be Broken Ministries.

What Church Leaders are Missing in Discussion About Same-Sex Marriage and Attraction

Scripture reveals that the way we think shapes our actions, but have you given thought to what and how you think about our sexuality?

Un Mapa Hacia la Integridad Sexual en Medio del Quebrantamiento Sexual

¿Quieres saber cuál es la pregunta que no me deja dormir? Es la siguiente: ¿Cómo puedo honrar a Dios con mi sexualidad en medio de mi quebrantamiento sexual y mis deseos insatisfechos? En Authentic Intimacy, a menudo usamos el término integridad sexual en lugar...

I Love Being Bitter: How We Grow Bitter and 3 Ways to Overcome

The Bible warns against bitterness, but how do we prevent bitterness from growing in our hearts? Hannah Nitz shares her heart on the blog.

Contentment: How to Live Joyfully Through the Ups and Downs of Life

As Christians we know that the Bible challenges us to live contented lives, but have you ever really thought about what it means to be content?

Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples?

It’s important to focus not on what everyone else is doing, but on what is good for you and your spouse.

How Do I Know If I’m in an Abusive Relationship?

Even those in abusive relationships often wouldn’t identify the relationship as such.

3 Ways To Help Your Wife Feel Fully Known and Fully Loved

My guest on the blog today is my favorite human, Zack Skarka! After I shared my struggle with body image, I invited Zack to tell his side of the story too. If you need to share this blog with your husband, please know that I'll be praying for you! Ask God for wisdom,...

3 Ways That Loving Your Body Builds Intimacy in Marriage

As we begin to find our source of security in God, not in what we look like, we can also grow in intimacy with our husbands.

“God Doesn’t Care” and 3 Other Lies You Might Believe About Sex

These four lies often represent a stronghold in our lives and marriages.

3 Ways To Make Sexual Intimacy a Priority in Your Marriage

In order to invest time in sexual intimacy, you will have to be stubbornly intentional about carving out time and energy.

3 Reasons I Can Run To God With My Sexual Brokenness

This question is where it all begins for me: Can I really trust God with everything, including my sexuality? (Presione aquí para leer en español) I still picture myself in my room that night, tossing and turning, overwhelmed by the anguish in my soul. Gripping the...

Church Is Good For You; It’s Time To Go Back

I meet more and more Christians who have simply given up on church. Maybe you are one of them. You’ve been disappointed by a leader, disillusioned by division, or just can’t find a place you belong. Through COVID-19 quarantines, perhaps you settled into a new routine...

3 Reasons To Invite Women Into Conversations About Sexual Brokenness

I opened my door and there she stood. She was nervous. I invited her inside my home, offered her a cup of coffee, and we sat down on my couch. I could see the hesitancy on her face as she fidgeted with her phone. I asked her to tell me a bit about her story. My new...

3 Things I Want You To Know as I Launch a Countercultural Book

As the release of this book approaches, my excitement is honestly mixed with trepidation.

Honestamente, ¿cuál es el propósito de tu sexualidad?

Si alguien te pregunta, “¿Cuál es tu opinión en cuanto a vivir con tu pareja sin estar casados?” o “¿Crees que Dios está de acuerdo con el matrimonio gay?” ¿Cómo responderías? Para responder estas preguntas, vas a terminar (sin siquiera darte cuenta) yendo a tus...

Sexual Attraction Isn’t as Important as You Think, Here’s Why

While sexual attraction can be a wonderful gift, I believe it is overemphasized in today’s conversations about dating and marriage.

¿Qué hago con mis deseos sexuales?

“¿Qué hago con mis deseos sexuales?” He escuchado esta pregunta por parte de hombres y de mujeres, por parte de personas que nunca han estado casadas y por parte de personas que ahora son “solteros de nuevo.” También he escuchado esta pregunta por parte de personas...

Six Red Flags You Can’t Ignore in Dating

Are you dating someone and wondering if the red flags you see are reason enough to break up with him or her? Do your friends and family have concerns about the relationship? If you feel in your heart that something is just not right, don’t ignore it. It might be the...

Resign As Boss: How To Help Your Husband Lead

Are you ready to consider a different approach?

7 Ways We Unknowingly Sabotage Intimacy in Our Marriages

Take-charge wives use different strategies to keep the upper hand of power in the relationship. Here are a few of them.

3 Reasons Women Tend To Take Over in Marriage

Author Margo Kaufman once wrote, “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.”

Want Your Marriage To Go the Distance? You’ll Need More Than “Artificial Intimacy”

Why do couples convinced they found “the one” end up divorcing just a few years (or sometimes a couple decades) into their marriage?

3 cosas que aprendí (y desearía no haberlo hecho) de la pornografía

Cuando estaba en quinto grado, mi amiga abrió mi laptop y me introdujo al mundo de la pornografía. En ese tiempo, yo no sabía que era la pornografía, pero lo que sí supe fue que era algo nuevo y emocionante. Pasarían...

Can Shame Ever Be a Good Thing?

“Shame on you!” If you grew up in my generation, this is a sentence you probably heard as a child. You were told that you should be ashamed of the way you treated your sister, for stealing that candy bar, or for talking back. These are also words that I’ve probably...

What Kind of Lover Are You?

God designed sex to be more than any of us has understood.

7 Reasons Kids Turn To Porn & What You Can Do About It

We invited John Fort, the director of training at Be Broken Ministries, to be our guest writer for this article. John has many years of experience in sexual addiction recovery, both personally and professionally. He is also the author of Honest Talk: A New Perspective...

Purity Culture: Lose the Lies, Keep Your Faith

Even for many committed Christians, sexual purity has lost its luster. What is going on?

Cuando te atrae alguien que no es tu cónyuge

El estereotipo de una relación adúltera en el matrimonio ha sido típicamente la imagen de un marido infiel. El hombre tiene una aventura de una noche en un viaje de negocios o se enamora de su secretaria. Supongo que nunca se nos ocurrió...

Five Things You Need to Know About Women, Orgasm & Intimacy

Research shows that about 75% of women find it difficult to climax through intercourse alone and about ten percent never experience orgasm.

Three Things To Remember About Sexual Sin & Grace

In the midst of my guilt and shame, frustration filled my mind. “I can’t believe I sinned… again. Does God hate me for my addiction? Will I ever find freedom?” Countless men and women I’ve talked to have asked similar questions. What are you supposed to do when you...

Soltería y sexualidad

¿Sabías que las mujeres solteras son sexuales? ¿Que tu sexualidad no tiene nada que ver con tener sexo o no? Por ridículo que parezca, muchos cristianos crecen pensando que mágicamente se volverán seres sexuales cuando se casen. Los solteros son seres sexuales creados...

¿Qué deberías hacer si tu esposo ve pornografía?

“Anoche encontré a mi esposo viendo pornografía. Esta no es la primera vez que sucede. Me siento tan violada, como si nunca pudiera volver a compartir mi cuerpo con él. De todos modos, ¿por qué debería? ¡Nunca podré competir con la pornografía!” Si tu esposo ha estado...

La sanidad de Dios apesta

¿Alguna vez has tenido una experiencia en la que Dios ha “revelado” el significado de un pasaje de las Escrituras en tu corazón? Recientemente, Él ha estado haciendo eso en mi corazón con Juan 11. Este es el relato de cuando Jesús resucitó a Lázaro de entre los...

Compassion That Doesn’t Compromise

I’m in my-mid forties, divorced, and lonely. I love God and want to follow His plan for sex and marriage, but I just can’t find a man who is willing to share that journey with me. I’m not the naive young woman “saving sex for marriage” like I was in my twenties. I’m...

How to Suffer Well Through Sickness

*Trigger warning, mention of assault and trauma. This past spring, I spent 30 nights alone in the hospital without my loving husband by my side. One night, as I laid in my hospital bed, I thought back on the decision I made to marry him. Little did I know how my...

Are You Entitled to (Good) Sex In Marriage?

Does the Bible teach that great sex is a right in marriage? Some point to Corinthians 7:1-5 to suggest that it does.

Cómo tener conversaciones difíciles

Las personas que escuchan nuestro podcast, Java con Juli, saben que no me gusta hablar por hablar. Desde que era una niña, he sido capaz de sentir agudamente la tensión tácita en una habitación. Me pongo ansiosa cuando tengo un conflicto sin resolver con un amigo o...

As Christians, How Do We Respond to Abuse Allegations in the Church?

No, Lord, not another one! My stomach feels sick every time I see the headline of a Christian leader accused of sexual misconduct. Over the years some of you have reached out to ask me what I think about high profile accusations of Christian leaders. You’ve wondered...

Experience Freedom From Shame

I’ll never forget how I felt the first time I looked into the mirror after being date raped in college. I stood there naked, alone, and ashamed. I began to question God and His love for me. Soon after this moment, I cried out to God in a journal entry. I wrote, God do...

Who Takes Out the Trash?

You and your spouse could argue for days about chores, but ultimately it will boil down to these three triggers.

Why Is Healing So Hard?

Tina and I met together for counseling several years ago to work through some traumatic experiences from her past. A year after our work together was done, Tina came in for a “check up.” She shared with me that within that year, she had undergone surgery, radiation,...

Remembering Your Way Out of Discouragement

Have you ever faced a difficult season only to have friends tell you to trust in God? While you know their advice is right, it doesn’t seem very practical. What does it actually look like to trust in God through trials and discouragement? David faced almost every...

How We Love Each Other

I grew up in a family of six kids, all very close in age. My position as “number five” out of six is probably a huge part of why I became a psychologist. My earliest pictures are often of me in a playpen observing family life. As teenagers, my sisters and I became...

COVID-19 y pornografía: Una salida rápida, pero no una solución

Desde el inicio de COVID-19, la industria de la pornografía ha experimentado un aumento masivo en el tráfico de sitios web. El 24 de marzo, un sitio importante anunció que su contenido premium sería gratuito para todos los visitantes, lo que resultó en un aumento...

Did He Pass the Test?

Here are four things to remember when you are tempted to test your husband’s love.

Helping Your Husband Grow UP

If, as a wife, you find yourself here, how should you invite him into maturity rather than encouraging stagnation by continuing to “do it all”?

Why I Care About Your Sex Life

In case you haven’t heard, Fifty Shades of Grey was recently named the best-selling book of the decade. When I saw this come through my newsfeed, my first thought was, “Here we go again…” I’m quite certain that we will have another round of debates about the relative...

Drowning in Shallow Christianity

I recently met with a friend who shared openly with me about her struggles in marriage. “It’s like living with a robot! He doesn’t seem to know how to connect emotionally. Am I supposed to live the next thirty years with this man? Does God really want me to be so...

I Don’t Trust Myself

A few days ago, I rushed to see Toni (the lady who cuts my hair) in the middle of the work day. I got there with just a few minutes to spare after getting off a conference call. Someone else was sitting in Toni’s chair. “I’ll just wait in the lobby until you’re done,”...

The “Why” for Every Question About Sexuality

There is a reason why sexuality matters and why every sexual issue has spiritual significance.

Healing After #metoo

As you watch a flood of #MeToo tags come through your social media feed, what is your reaction? Maybe you feel sick to your stomach, need some time to let the grief wash over you, or experience a rush of anger. Me too. How does something that is so hidden and...

Making Time for Making Love

God has taught me a lot about the importance of sex in marriage and how to make it happen, even in the busiest stage of your life.

Help! My Husband Annoys Me

I hope it won’t annoy you if I share three of the breakthroughs I’ve had on the journey to an irritation-free marriage.

What’s the Purpose of Marriage?

Recently, a newlywed friend asked me this question. “What’s the purpose of marriage?

Four Christmas Gifts For My Husband

Christmas shopping for my husband is always a challenge. He's a particular guy. He takes hours to pick out a gym bag and days to choose a watch. On my own, I never get it right. He's also the kind of guy who usually buys what he needs and doesn't wait for Christmas....

Gay Marriage and What We’ve Forgotten About God

A.W. Tozer wrote, “The most important thing about you is what you believe about God.”

A Challenge from the Song of Solomon

Have you ever read a portion of the Bible that gave you pause? As you read, you thought, “That doesn’t seem to square with what I think about God.” This has happened to me many times reading the Old Testament prophets or the book of Revelation, but I also have that...

By submitting this form, you agree to our terms and conditions and privacy policy.