Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited


What do you do if your husband won't get a job? When you don't like the way he's parenting the kids? How do you know when to stand up to a controlling husband—or if you've become a controlling or manipulative wife?

Many women feel lost in their marriages. They don't know what to do with their disappointment, when to ask for help, or what it looks like to let go of the need to control. Yet, God has given women incredible power in marriage—but they have to learn how to use it. 

 In a complete rewrite of her bestselling book, Finding the Hero in Your Husband,  Dr. Juli Slattery gently guides women to see how their attempts to manage or fix the messiness of marriage may actually undermine the very connection they want to build.

Juli guides readers and listeners to:

  • See how disappointment in marriage isn't the end of intimacy, but an opportunity to build true intimacy that will go the distance.
  • Learn to use your relational power in a way that builds intimacyinstead of sabotaging it.
  • Recognize the ways you unknowingly sabotage intimacy by using your power to take over in marriage.
  • Understand what biblical submission isn't, and be empowered to step into the influence you have within marriage.
  • Understand how the erosion of gender has exponentially complicated marriage.  Rather than give freedom, it creates insecurity and often sets a couple up for frustration as they strive to meet each other’s emotional needs.

About Dr. Juli Slattery 

Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, ministry dedicated to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality.  Every Monday she hosts the podcast Java with Juli, where she and a guest sit down for coffee and honest conversation about relationships, sex, intimacy, pornography, singleness, and God’s design for our sexuality.

In 2020, Juli launched, a platform to equip Christian leaders to have gospel-centered conversations around sexuality.

 Juli is the author of ten books, including  Rethinking Sexuality, Passion Pursuit, Sex & the Single Girl and 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love Sex & Intimacy.  She and her husband Mike are the parents of 3 sons; they live in Akron, Ohio.

Foreword by Jackie Hill Perry  

As I read it, I saw myself in a new light. My fears and pride were exposed, but there was no shame in sight, only hope. Just as the possibilities for what our husbands can be with our and the Holy Spirit’s help are endless, the same is true of us. The hard parts of our marriages don’t tell the whole story, and the weakest parts of you are not all you are. There is so much more love, joy, and intimacy to be discovered and that is good news so as Juli closes, so will I: "When those who know me best reflect on my life, let them not say, “She was a happy wife,” but “She was a faithful woman.” May the same be said of you!” 

And to that I say, “Amen.”

"I’ve been married over 40 years, and I have read a lot of books on being a wife. "Finding the Hero in Your Husband" is a must-read! I wish I had this book when I was younger. It would have saved me from making many mistakes that caused a lot of pain. Read it now! You will be glad you did, and your husband will thank you for decades to come." 

Ann Wilson 
Co-host of the Family Life Today radio broadcast and co-author of "Vertical Marriage"

"To understand and believe that power that we as women have in our marriages is a game-changer. The power to create intimacy, the power to build up, the power to help our husbands become the men that God created them to be - what a gift! This book will cause you to look at your marriage through a new lens. You will love better, trust better, pray better, and encourage better because of this book. Thank you, Juli, for this gift to marriages around the world!"

Jamie Ivey
Host of The Happy Hour podcast and author of "If You Only Knew" and "Complement"

What Readers Are Saying