Authentic Intimacy

#373: How We Beat a Porn Addiction in Our (Millennial) Marriage

When Clinton and Charity Muñoz sought help to overcome a porn addiction, Clinton was told to memorize more...

#372: How To Recognize Domestic Abuse

Wearing sunglasses on rainy days. Using turtlenecks to hide choke marks. Running. Hiding. Ramona Probasco never thought she would do...

Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 2

Overcoming Physical Barriers to Pleasure Part 2 in this webinar series Meet Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN. She has over 28 years of experience and a passion help women understand how their bodies are integrated with their minds, spirits, and emotions. In this webinar,...

Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 1

The Priority of Mutual Pleasure in Healthy Sex Part 1 in this webinar series Juli and Dr. Debra Taylor, a certified Christian sex therapist, discuss the importance of pleasure within the larger picture of sexual intimacy, and how the pleasure we experience during sex...

Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 3

From Sexual Trauma to Sexual Intimacy (It Takes Two) Part 3 in this webinar series In this final conversation, Juli talks with Matt Gutbrod, a sexual abuse survivor, and his wife, Victoria, a marriage and family therapist, about how couples can practice empathy and...

Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 2

What Is Sexual Trauma & How Does It Affect You? Part 2 in this webinar series If you're in Florida, find Aline-Vanya Guillaume at TherapyTerrace.com Sexual Trauma & It's Effect On Marriage an article by Aline-Vanya Guillaume, LPSW Unwanted by Jay...

Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 1

Your Abuse Story: How To Tell, What To Tell, & Why It Matters Part 1 in this webinar series Juli Slattery and Dawn Scott Damon talk about the reasons we don't share our abuse stories. We can be accused of lying or exaggerating. We're met with silence. Our pain is...

#365: How To Create a Language That Brings Meaning to Your Lovemaking

How long would you like foreplay to last? How important is it to have an orgasm every time we have sex? Complete this sentence:...

#364: How to Work Your Way Back to Sexual Intimacy After Infidelity

After sexual infidelity, how do you know when to start having sex again? Recovery is layered, complex, and different...

#361: Hey Momma! Learn How To Share the “Birds & Bees” with Your Littles

We know. It’s hard to imagine talking to your sweet three or four-year-old about sex. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to. What...

#355: How Apologetics Helps Kids Engage the Culture & Keep Their Faith

Don't tell your kids what to think about sex, teach them HOW to think about sex. Don't give them a list of...

Bonus! #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused

It’s been proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow us into adulthood. Memories, anxiety, and feelings of shame can leave women overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand—and their husbands equally confused! In this episode, Juli sits down with Dawn Scott Damon, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused, to share wisdom and insight for husbands, helping them to love their wives well through the journey of recovery and healing.

#352: How Purity Culture and Ravi Zacharias’ Abuse of Power Challenge Our Faith

Juli Slattery and Asheritah Ciuciu sit down for a conversation about the shortcomings of purity culture, the recent...

#351: Why Our Churches Need To Do Better at Valuing the Voices of Women

The women of the Bible have a lot to teach us. Their voices often give us the story behind the story—take Ruth for example, or the...

#349: Bonus! You CAN Find Love Online. We’ll Help You Look

“I love online dating,” said no one ever. But if 1 in 5 committed relationships today began online, is it worth a try? In this...

#346: How to Cope When Your Spouse Struggles With Depression

When you’re married, depression is a shared experience. There is no way to escape the impact of sharing a home...

#343: Forgiving What You Can’t Forget

Lysa TerKeurst tells Juli about the brokenness and restoration of her marriage and how forgiveness is both a decision...

#329: Addressing Tough Questions About Identity and Sexuality

Theology meets real life in this episode of Java with Juli! We’re asking the difficult questions about identity and sexuality: Why...

#328: Answers to Your Questions About Pornography

"Will I cause a set-back in my husband’s recovery if I say no to sex?" "My daughter talks to me about her porn addiction, but...

#327: When Your Spouse Feels More Like a Roommate

Every couple experiences times of disconnection, but when your spouse begins to feel more like a roommate than a lover, it’s easy to...

#326: Gen Z and Gender Identity

Few ideas have changed more rapidly than the way our culture perceives gender. The idea that you can choose your gender (some cite...

#323: Getting Over Our Fear of Opposite-Sex Friendships

Was Jesus a bit aloof with Martha and Mary because He didn’t want them to think there was, you know,...

#70: Stepping up as a Stepmom

Being a stepmom is one of the hardest roles a woman can take on. Because, let's be honest: you fell in love with your husband, you...

#319: Is Good Sex a “Right” in Marriage?

Juli and Hannah sit down for a candid conversation about whether or not it's possible to have a good, Christian marriage and not be...

#314: You, Your Brain, and Your Family Can Heal from Porn

How I get rid of the images that keep popping up in my mind? How can I rebuild trust with my husband when access to...

#313: The Greatest Love Story

From beginning to end the Bible tells a story about marriage. Woven through chapter and verse is a story of covenant...

#312: Born Again This Way: Rachel’s Story

This may sound like a conversation about being a gay Christian, and it is. But more importantly, it's a...

Parenting Through Weakness

Dear Juli, I’m the mom of two teenage girls. I know I need to talk to them about sex but honestly, I don’t know where to begin. My sex life is a mess. My husband and I have relied on porn in our marriage for years. I have abuse in my past that I’ve never dealt with. I...

#309: Getting Rid of the Mommy Guilt

The goal of motherhood is not to raise a perfect child. The goal isn't even to raise a Jesus-loving child. (Yep, you read that...

Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life

If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applies to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom. A healthy sex life has aspects of...

Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It

The sad truth is that the damage of porn goes far beyond the person consuming it and also affects their relationships, the people in their lives, and culture as a whole.

#308: Maintaining Your Smartphone Sanity

Who wants to pay $100 a month to have door-slamming, ruin-the-family-dinner arguments with your teen like clockwork? No one. But...

#307: On the Brink of Divorce

Susan Cox sat in church, a hotel room key in her purse, and an ongoing affair pushing her to leave her marriage for good. She was...

COVID-19 y pornografía: Una salida rápida, pero no una solución

Desde el inicio de COVID-19, la industria de la pornografía ha experimentado un aumento masivo en el tráfico de sitios web. El 24 de marzo, un sitio importante anunció que su contenido premium sería gratuito para todos los visitantes, lo que resultó en un aumento...

#301: Staying Connected With the Next Generation

When you hear "generational gap," do you think: about your mother, who can't understand your parenting...

Webinar: Pornography: Help for Spouses & Parents

The desires that lead to sexual addiction are not wrong. Men and women who find themselves caught up in porn, reading books like Fifty Shades of Grey, or in a sexual chat room got there because their healthy God-given desires have been twisted. We are supposed to...

#300: Christians Struggle with Sexual Addiction Too

Did you know that 68% of Christian men struggle with unwanted sexual behavior? That 25% of Christian women use sex to hide a deeper...

#298: Bonus! Sexual Identity is Big, Identity As a Child of God is Bigger

In this episode, Juli continues her conversation with Laurence Koo. Join them as they discuss the tension created when so much of...

#297: Finding Freedom in the Midst of Brokenness

Many gay Christians feel they must either deny their sexual feelings in order to be accepted by God or embrace the idea that God...

#296: An Insider’s Story of Human Trafficking

Have you ever wondered why U.S. trafficking victims don’t just run? Do you feel compassion for child victims, but...

#295: We All “Desconstruct,” It’s Reconstructing that Matters

Questions about sexuality, sexual abuse, and gender have sent a new wave of “deconstructing” throughout the...

#294: When You Want Sex, But Your Spouse Doesn’t

In every marriage, there is typically one partner with a higher sexual drive. And that person is usually trying to convince the...

#289: How to Choose Unity (Even When You Disagree)

Juli and her guests discuss their reactions to John MacArthur's recent comments about women teaching the Bible. Join us for a...

#288: Max Lucado Says #MeToo

Max Lucado has never pretended to be something he’s not. The beloved author and pastor has always been open about his struggles. But...

#285: Loving Without Compromise

Yes, you can love a gay or lesbian friend without trying to change them. Sadly, many in the LGBT+ community feel shamed by...

#283: I Was the Abuser

Are you, or someone you love, a recovering sex offender? If so, this conversation is for you. In this...

Breaking Free from Sexual Addiction

Sometimes I joke about things I am "addicted" to. Coffee and dark chocolate are definitely on the list. Honestly, we are all addicted to something—there are things in life we just can't seem to get by without. You may be addicted to your husband's affection, a daily...

#279: Why You Feel Shame When Your Spouse Cheats

A betrayed spouse often feels as much (or more) shame as their partner. In this episode Juli welcomes Dr. Sheri...

#277: Children, Teens, and Sexual Abuse

Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere and predators are typically someone a child already trusts. If your child is...

#276: Parenthood, Exhaustion & Avoiding Sex

She's a busy and tired mama. He's stressed to the max with work and family. Can't they just put sex and...

How Do We Tell Good From Evil?

Is it wrong to live together before marriage? Does gender really matter? Is it wrong to support gay marriage? These are the types of questions that we often get asked at Authentic Intimacy. Perhaps more than ever, many Christians are confused about right and wrong....

#275: Finding Freedom from Unwanted Desires

Overwhelmingly, the response to unwanted sexual desires has been to manage them. Bounce your eyes. Get accountability....

#274: Vulnerability, Infidelity & God’s Redemption

For Jessica McDaniel, infidelity as a woman meant double the shame. In this episode, she shares the lies she believed as a teenager...

#273: Tell Someone You’re Broken

If you’re ever going to heal, you have to tell someone you’re broken. In this episode of Java with Juli, our guest shares how he...

#272: From Sexual Exploitation to Freedom (Harmony’s Story)

According to our guest, most women in the sex industry want to escape but have no other means for survival. As an abused child, rape...

#268: BONUS! When God “Wakes Up” Your Love Life

Did you know that an intimate relationship with the Lord can lead to a more intimate relationship with your husband? In this BONUS...

#159: When Your Child Struggles With Gender

If your child is making choices you don’t agree with, this episode is for you! Juli sits down with a mother who recognized her...

#259: Our Marriage Survived Painful Sex

Jennifer went to her doctor to get help for the excruciating pain she felt during sex. She left with a clean bill of...

#258: Your Questions About Pornography

Can I ever trust him again? How do we rebuild sexual intimacy together? Should you even date a guy who struggles with porn? Dr....

#254: Sex, Race & Healing: How We’re the Same and Different

There is no magic pill to heal from traumatic sexual experiences. In this episode Juli talks with therapist Dawn Jones about why we...

#250: Healing After Abortion

It’s time to let women know there is healing after abortion. While Christians rightly proclaim the sanctity...

#247: Healthy Conversations With Kids About Sex

Julie Lyles Carr has parented eight children over the last 25 years. We think she might have a thing or two to teach us about...

#169: Your Wounded Heart

It wasn’t that bad. What happened to you definitely wasn’t as bad as other abuse stories you’ve heard and read about. It’s...

#33: What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?

Have you ever asked yourself, What's it like to be married to me? What's it like to make love with me? Why do I want to stay mad? ...

#240: Birth Control & Family Planning

Is it okay to use birth control? Can the pill cause an early abortion? Juli and her guest discuss the ethical issues that surround...

#237: BONUS! Reconstructing Intimacy After Breast Cancer

"I never imagined there would be a point in my life when a piece of me would have to be reconstructed. That at age...

#234: We Can Do THAT in the Bedroom?

What's OK in the bedroom? Juli, Linda & Yvette tackle one of our most popular questions in this episode of Java...

#232: When Sexual Abuse Happens At Church

When sexual abuse happens in the church our leaders are (historically) more likely to defend the powerful than to...

How We Love Each Other

I grew up in a family of six kids, all very close in age. My position as “number five” out of six is probably a huge part of why I became a psychologist. My earliest pictures are often of me in a playpen observing family life. As teenagers, my sisters and I became...

How to Choose a Wise Counselor

(Presione aquí para leer en español) All your own efforts and gumption, your prayers and advice-seeking, your reading and research—you've tried it all, and still your struggle persists. You've reached it: the point at which you know you need help. You need a...

#12: Loving Your Husband As You Age

The challenges of married life change as we grow older, and very few people talk about them. That's why Dr. Juli Slattery invited...

Q&A: What Does God Say About Divorce?

What does God say about divorce? Juli unpacks this layered topic.

#489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First

Is divorce the best option for you? Toni and Carey Nieuwhof discuss Toni’s book, “Before You Split.”

3 Subconscious Beliefs You May Hold About Living With Same-Sex Attraction

Scripture reveals that the way we think shapes our actions, but have you given thought to what and how you think about our sexuality?

#257: How Trauma Affects Our Bodies & Souls

Whether you’ve experienced physical or emotional trauma, it always leaves a mark. Susie Larson joins Juli to discuss the path to healing when trauma runs deep.

#486 Teaching Sexual Discipleship: How to Walk in Truth and Love with LGBTQ+ Kids

Kelly Urbon discusses the work she is doing in counseling parents of those who identify as LGBTQ+, and explains why this work is so necessary.

Q&A: Is It Possible For The Woman to Be The Higher Drive Partner?

Are husbands always the higher desire partners?

#473 Repentance, Redemption, and Revolution: How to Accept the Invitation of Godly Sexuality

What does it actually look like to accept the invitation to reclaim God’s design for sexuality in your life? Is the path straight, wide, and flat, or narrow, bumpy, and full of twists and turns? In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli hosts guests Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution as they discuss their polar-opposite experiences embracing their sexuality as God intended.

Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Looking at Porn?

What do you do when you discover your spouse watches porn?

#445: Give the Gift of Seeing the Good in What You Have

Seeing the good in all things does not mean ignoring the bad. Rather, as we approach the hard things, we see the...

Q&A: What are practical ways to teach children about healthy sexuality?

Juli helps anyone caring for children answer this question: “What are practical ways to teach children about healthy sexuality?”

#439: Pelvic Floor Health 101 (It’s About More Than Just Sex)

Nearly 3 out of 4 women experience pain during or after sex. If that's you, we have good news: a pelvic floor therapist can help....

How Do I Know He’s “The One”?

Q: Is there one person I'm meant to marry, or should I just choose a good man? A: This question isn't simply a contemplative exercise; it impacts how you approach dating and marriage. However, I think it is the wrong question to be asking. The question of "Is there...

Q&A: When I don’t feel desire, is “duty sex” OK?

Getting stuck in a cycle of "duty sex" will sabotage true intimacy. Learn how to change that pattern and deepen your relationship. Here are a few resources to get you started: God, Sex, & Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery Java #419: Why Sexual Intimacy is About...

Q&A: Does a “quickie” count as sexual intimacy?

Aren't quickies all about sexual activity and not sexual intimacy? Fast-paced encounters may feel at odds with the patient, intentional moments that build sexual intimacy, but even quickies have a place in healthy sexuality. Here, Juli explains why. This question came...

Q&A: How do I begin to pray about my sex life?

"I'm newer to the Christian faith and praying about sex is the weirdest thing I've ever heard!" Praying about your sex life? It’s a little awkward at first. That’s because even those of us who’ve grown up in church have been led to believe that sexual problems don’t...

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3

One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...

Q&A: Did purity culture imply that women are “the problem” with lust?

Purity culture has often painted women as "the problem." How can we help people to see others as human beings rather than potential temptations? In this Q&A, our guest, therapist Dawn Jones, shares how seeing others as human beings created in the image of God...

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1

“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...

A Road Map to Sexual Integrity in the Midst of Sexual Brokenness

Do you want to know the question that keeps me up at night? It’s this: How can I honor God with my sexuality in the face of my sexual brokenness and unmet desires? At Authentic Intimacy, we often use words like sexual wholeness or sexual integrity instead of sexual...

Are You a Good Friend? 7 Keys to Building Healthy Friendship

Several months ago, a friend invited me to coffee. After catching up on kids and ministry, I noticed her countenance shift. She obviously was struggling to share something difficult with me. After a few deep breaths, my friend explained how several years ago I had...

Q&A: Where Is the balance between doing my part and trusting God to do His?

"Where is the balance between personal integrity and trusting in God to do only what He can do? Will I just have to get used to being disappointed in myself and my sin?" When it comes to breaking free from sexual sin, there are things you can do and there are things...

#214: Answers To Your Questions About Sex, with Dr. Juli Slattery & Linda Dillow

Is it “dirty” to dress up for your husband in the bedroom? Is it wrong to masturbate if your husband can’t have sex? What if your...

Q&A: What if I’m not sexually compatible with the person I want to marry?

"What if we're not sexually compatible?" In this video, Juli shares everything you need to know about sexual incompatibility—including how it can make you a better lover. Looking for more? Check out these resources: Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers...

What To Wear in the Bedroom?

Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...

Q&A: What does romance have to do with my relationship with God?

Theologically, the connotations of romance associated with God’s desire for His people don't feel quite right. Can you help me understand how to find this in Scripture? It feels odd, at first, to think about your relationship with God in terms of the romance and...

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