What if one of the most important things about church is not what happens at meetings but what happens between them?
Authentic Intimacy
#490 How Do You Go From Being Stuck in Bondage to True Freedom?
What does it really take to go from death to life? How are we truly transformed? Jonathan Daugherty joins Juli to discuss his new book.
Q&A: Are Sexual Sin and Sexual Brokenness the Same Thing?
Are Sexual Sin and Sexual Brokenness the Same Thing?
#489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First
Is divorce the best option for you? Toni and Carey Nieuwhof discuss Toni’s book, “Before You Split.”
#363: Why Are Christians Afraid Of the LGBT+ Conversation?
Rachel Gilson discusses why it’s more important than ever to maintain a high view of scripture and know what the Bible says about our sexuality.
3 Subconscious Beliefs You May Hold About Living With Same-Sex Attraction
Scripture reveals that the way we think shapes our actions, but have you given thought to what and how you think about our sexuality?
#488 What Does the Bible Really Say About Same-Sex Marriage?
What is the Biblical essence of marriage and who is it for? Preston Sprinkle discusses his new book “Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?”
#257: How Trauma Affects Our Bodies & Souls
Whether you’ve experienced physical or emotional trauma, it always leaves a mark. Susie Larson joins Juli to discuss the path to healing when trauma runs deep.
Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?
How do you know if your spouse is repentant after a betrayal?
#487 How to Cling to God When Your World is Falling Apart
How do you cling to your faith in God when life gets hard? What does it look like to have an unshakeable faith? And how do you cultivate it?
#316: Sorry Mom & Dad, the “Sex Talk” Doesn’t Work
Juli and Hannah explain what it looks like to teach your kids about biblical sexuality in our current cultural moment.
5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband’s Porn Problem
Juli challenges wives to reject blame and consider biblical teaching on responding to the painful sins of those we love.
#486 Teaching Sexual Discipleship: How to Walk in Truth and Love with LGBTQ+ Kids
Kelly Urbon discusses the work she is doing in counseling parents of those who identify as LGBTQ+, and explains why this work is so necessary.
#386: What’s the Secret To Getting the Marriage & Intimacy You Want? Go Vertical
Guests Dave and Ann Wilson join Juli in this special bonus episode as they share how God transformed their marriage from the top down.
Q&A: How Often Is ‘Normal’ for Having Sex Within Marriage?
How can you know if you’re having sex enough in marriage?
#485 Your Marriage Won’t Survive Without Grace: Why Marriages Built on Performance Fall Apart
Is a lack of grace stopping you and your spouse from connecting? Brad and Marilyn Rhoads join Juli to discuss their book, “Grace Marriage.”
#454 Mismatched in Sexual Desire? You May Be Closer Than You Think
If you’re married and experiencing huge gaps between your level of sexual desire and your spouse’s, this special re-air episode is for you.
4 Lies the Movies Told Us About Sex and The Truths You Need to Know
Have you learned and adopted more beliefs about sex from the movies than you realize?
#484 Duty Sex, Feeling Objectified, and Other Reasons Women Don’t Enjoy Sex in Marriage
J Parker and Bonny Burns, hosts of “Sex Chat for Christian Wives”, provide biblical, practical insight on challenges wives face in marriage.
#388 Single & Sexually Whole
The late Dr. Doug Rosenau joins Juli to discuss the difference between erotic and social sexuality, and why we need to rethink desire.
Q&A: What Is the Purpose of My Sexuality as a Single?
Is there still a purpose for your sexuality if you’re a single person?
#483 Why You Need a New Theology of Singleness, Even if You’re Married
Join Juli and guest Dr. Danielle Treweek as we kick off week two of our 7-week series exploring various themes around God, sex and intimacy.
#211: Understanding Pornography Addiction
Jonathan Daughtery of Be Broken Ministries shares his story and why he believes people keep returning to “lustland.”
Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity
While we do need to reject the legalism of purity culture, Juli explains that boundaries still help us embrace godliness with our sexuality.
Un Mapa Hacia la Integridad Sexual en Medio del Quebrantamiento Sexual
¿Quieres saber cuál es la pregunta que no me deja dormir? Es la siguiente: ¿Cómo puedo honrar a Dios con mi sexualidad en medio de mi quebrantamiento sexual y mis deseos insatisfechos? En Authentic Intimacy, a menudo usamos el término integridad sexual en lugar...
#482 Trying to Overcome a Sexual Addiction? Here’s Why You Can’t Do It Alone
Nate Larkin joins Juli to share his journey breaking free from an addiction to pornography that almost destroyed his marriage.
Q&A: How Can I Love Someone Who Is Struggling with Sexual Sin and Brokenness?
How do you love someone struggling with sexual sin and brokenness?
#481 Learning, Leading, and Growing: A Reflection on 10 Years of Java with Juli
In this celebratory episode, Hannah and Juli discuss the heart of the podcast, what Juli has learned, and plans for the next decade.
If I’m Free, Why Can’t I Do What I Want? And Other Ways We Misunderstand Freedom
There are significant differences between the way the Bible and the world talk about freedom, so what does it really mean to live freely?
#480 How to Heal and Rebuild Trust and Sexual Intimacy After An Affair
Why do people cheat? And is it possible to reconcile after you or your spouse has been unfaithful? Juli is joined by Jessica McDaniel, LPC.
Contentamiento: cómo vivir con gozo a través de los altibajos de la vida
Si todo en tu vida siguiera siendo exactamente como es en este momento, ¿crees que aún podrías ser verdadera y profundamente feliz? Como mujer soltera, esto era algo que estaba acostumbrada a preguntarme. Después de todo, el matrimonio no era una certeza. Sin...
Q&A: Is Masturbation a Sin?
Is masturbation a sin?
#479 More Than Just Behavior: Why Your Struggles With Sexual Sin Run Deeper Than You Think
What if facing your sexual struggles could lead to deeper healing? Juli and Jay Stringer, LMHC, talk about his research on desire.
Sexual Discipleship®: What Is It, and Why Is It Important?
What is sexual discipleship, why is it the heart and mission of Authentic Intimacy, and how do we live it out?
#478 How To Love And Lead Your Adult Kids With Jim Burns
How do you parent adult kids after they leave the nest? Dr. Jim Burns, president of the organization HomeWord, shares his experience and expertise.
Q&A: Is It Possible For The Woman to Be The Higher Drive Partner?
Are husbands always the higher desire partners?
#477 In-Laws or Outlaws? How to Handle The Challenge of Setting Boundaries with In-Laws
When does parental guidance become overreaching interference? How do couples set boundaries? And how do in-laws give kids space to form strong marital foundations?
Help! I Know I Need to Talk to My Teenager About Sex, but How Do I Do It?
Want to share the good news about God’s design for sexuality with your teen? Start with creating a strong relational connection.
#476 When God Ran: How God’s Love Found a Woman Lost In Shame
What does it look and feel like to live in the tension of the weakness of your flesh when you have lengthy and ongoing struggles?
Q&A: Is God Okay With Me Having Sex With Someone I Love Even If We Are Not Married?
What God think about sex outside of marriage?
#475 Why Empathy, Inner Healing, and Teamwork Are at the Heart of Building Intimacy
Sean and Lanette Reed join Juli in this episode to discuss how humility, faith, and empathy, helped them bridge gaps to create true intimacy.
I Love Being Bitter: How We Grow Bitter and 3 Ways to Overcome
The Bible warns against bitterness, but how do we prevent bitterness from growing in our hearts? Hannah Nitz shares her heart on the blog.
#474 A Rebel’s Manifesto: How to Live Holy Different with Sean McDowell
What does it look like to live life as a Christian counter-culturally? How are we called to be in the world but not of the world when it comes to engaging with others, sharing the gospel, and addressing our own sin?
In this interview, Juli hosts author and professor Sean McDowell as they discuss his new book, “A Rebel’s Manifesto.” The book serves as a call and challenge to today’s Christians, urging them to revisit God’s Word and rethink what it means to be salt and light.
Q&A: Is It My Responsibility to Meet My Spouse’s Sexual Needs?
Is it your responsibility to meet your spouse’s sexual needs?
#473 Repentance, Redemption, and Revolution: How to Accept the Invitation of Godly Sexuality
What does it actually look like to accept the invitation to reclaim God’s design for sexuality in your life? Is the path straight, wide, and flat, or narrow, bumpy, and full of twists and turns? In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli hosts guests Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution as they discuss their polar-opposite experiences embracing their sexuality as God intended.
#472 Embracing Grief: Why We Need to Connect Sadness, Gratitude, and Celebration
It can often be tempting to push through the uncomfortable feelings that come with loss and try to just keep calm and carry on. But is that what we’re called to as followers of Christ? If Christ Himself took time to grieve, shouldn’t we?
Dr Greg and Erin Smalley join Juli on this episode of Java with Juli as they discuss the need to face and make sense of our pain so we can embrace real joy.
Q&A: Past Sexual Trauma Inhibits My Ability to Enjoy Sex. Is There Hope That I Can Ever Heal?
When trauma is in your past, is sexual enjoyment possible?
#471 How to Understand, Celebrate, and Leverage Neurological Differences in Relationships
There are always differences in relationships – differences in culture, differences in family of origin, differences in communication and conflict style – but what if you and someone you love just think differently? The thing is, while we may live in a world designed for neurotypical people, the world is full of people who are neurodivergent; those of us who process, learn, experience and interact with the world in ways not considered typical.
Contentment: How to Live Joyfully Through the Ups and Downs of Life
If everything in your life were to remain exactly the way it is in this current moment, do you think you could still be truly, deeply happy? As a single woman, this was something I was used to asking myself. After all, marriage was not a certainty. What surprised me...
#470 Why Did We Start Hating Men? The Toxic War on Masculinity with Nancy Pearcey
When did it become normal for us as a culture not to like men? In this episode Juli’s guest is Nancy Pearcey, esteemed scholar, and author of “The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes”. She joins Juli to discuss the roots of toxic masculinity, what it means to be a good man, and how to combat the negativity around what it really means to be a man.
Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Looking at Porn?
What do you do when you discover your spouse watches porn?
#469 Porn, Rape Culture, and Why The Battle Against Sexual Assault Starts at Home
Did you know that on average, each year, around 463,634 Americans are victims of sexual assault? That’s a heartbreaking statistic, and it reveals a very real source of pain and trauma in contemporary American culture. What causes people to commit sexual assault? Is there a way to stop it? Dr. John Foubert joins Juli to discuss some of the reasons these numbers are so high, and what can and needs to be done to prevent sexual assault from happening.
Sexual Integrity: The Heart of Sexually Discipling Your Kids
Today’s Christian parents often feel torn between the cultural messages of sex positivity and traditional church teachings about saving sex for marriage, both of which seem fraught with potential challenges and pitfalls. While cultural messages are at odds with God’s...
#468 Teaching Your Kids How to Love Their Bodies with Francie Winslow
How do we teach kids that God made their bodies and that He made their bodies good? Are there creative and intentional ways to connect with kids and help them develop a Biblical theology around their bodies?
In this episode, Juli connects with her friend Francie Winslow, a mother of six on a mission to imprint upon the hearts of her children the beauty of God’s design of their bodies and vision for their sexuality.
#467 Yes, Your Marriage Is Worth Fighting For (Here’s How to Save It)
While it may be the case that many people view marriage as a periphery issue, Juli’s guest, Pastor John McGee, argues that the way we love one another in marriage is one of the ways in which our faith is truly evident — “Marriage teaches us about the gospel, and the gospel teaches us about marriage.” Tune in to today’s episode of Java with Juli to discover some of what is missing in common teaching on marriage, and how leaning into the truth of the gospel equips us to love better, not just in marriage, but in all our relationships.
5 Reasons You’re Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and How to Overcome Them)
Over the past decade, I have physically stood in front of more than 100,000 people to teach on sexuality. It is literally my job to talk about sex. But here’s a little secret. The most difficult conversations I have had about sex have been with my own children. It has...
#466 Enough is Enough: Recognizing and Combating Abusive Relationships
Is there a difference between a bad relationship and a harmful one? How can you spot the difference, both in your own relationships and those of your friends and family?
Join Juli and Dr. David Clarke as they discuss how to recognize abuse patterns of behavior, how to set boundaries, and when necessary, how to get out and create safety elsewhere.
#465 Love Dares: Using Playfulness to Build Sexual Intimacy
If you’re a husband or wife who finds sex dull or monotonous, it may be time for you to revisit the way God designed marital sex. The truth is that God desires for you to enjoy building sexual intimacy with your spouse, not just endure it. In this podcast episode, Juli and guest Dr. Jennifer Degler talk about how God gives the gift of sexual play to couples, and the practical (and fun!) ways you can connect with your spouse.
Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How
My husband had just returned home with our youngest son after a weekend away for the sex talk. Christian, eleven at the time, sheepishly told me, “Mom, I feel like I’m too young to know all these things about sex.” I reassured him, “I know how you feel, but Dad and I...
#464 Why We Need to Remember The Dignity of Singleness
Is it possible your view of singleness and marriage is less than Holy? Is it possible to find contentment, not in whether we are single or married, but in Jesus Himself? Juli and Sam Allberry discuss the dignity of singleness, finding contentment in Christ, and the key to true friendship.
#463 (Bonus) The Need for Grace in Church-Based Conversations About Sex and Gender
When it comes to discussions around sex, historically the church has stayed quiet. As more and more pastors, authors, and psychologists within the church begin writing and talking about sex, the challenge becomes how to make these discussions accessible, nuanced, grace-filled, and Bible-based. In this episode, Juli speaks again with author and pastor Joshua Butler, as together they examine the challenges surrounding talking about sex from within the church.
#462 Beautiful Union: How Our Sexuality Reveals God’s Heart for Covenant Love
What if sex and gender are not as arbitrary as many people tend to think? Is it possible that God has woven holy significance into our very DNA as gendered, sexual beings? In this episode, Juli sits down with author Joshua Butler to talk about his book, “Beautiful Union”, and the ways we can see God’s gospel message evidenced in everything from the beauty of a sunset to our own sexuality.
Q&A: How Do I Learn to Trust My Spouse Again After an Affair?
How do you learn to trust again when your spouse has had an affair?
Q&A: How Can I Overcome the Shame I Experienced as a Result of Purity Culture?
How do you overcome any shame you’ve experienced from purity culture?
Q&A: Is Sex Necessary For Intimacy?
Is sex necessary for intimacy?
Does God Want Me to Love Myself?
This is potentially the most controversial blog I have ever written. As I’ve often stated, the Bible isn’t primarily offensive because of what it says about our sexuality. It is offensive because of what it says about our humanity. You may disagree with what you are...
#461 Pride, Lust, and Why We Do Things We Don’t Want To Do
Juli Slattery and Jonathan Pokluda tackle tough questions about how to find freedom from the sin that we hate, the difference between regret and self condemnation, and how the gospel is good news for all of us.
Q&A: We Have Sex Regularly, but My Husband Never Seems Satisfied. What Do I Do?
What do you do if your spouse never seems satisfied with the sex you’re having?
Q&A: What If I’m Not Attracted to My Spouse Anymore?
What do you do if you’re no longer attracted to your spouse?
#460 How To Have Mini and Many Conversations About Sexuality With Your Kids
How do you talk to young kids about sex? Keep conversations small and have them often. Justin and Lindsey Holcomb are back to share insights on talking to your kids about their bodies, God’s design for sexuality, and the boundaries of healthy touch.
#459 How Sexual Abuse Affects You (And Why God Is Still Trustworthy)
“What happened to me wasn’t rape.” “I didn’t stop it right away.” “I shouldn’t have been at that party in the first place.”
If you’ve ever had thoughts like these, about yourself or someone else, your definition of sexual abuse is too narrow. Join us to learn what sexual abuse is and what consent isn’t. (And, if you’ve never been a victim of sexual assault, trust us, you know someone who has. This conversation is for you, too.)
Q&A: Is There Any Hope for Me in My Struggle with Porn?
Is there hope for you in your struggle with porn?
#458 Why Women Are Leaving the Church (And How To Find Your Way Back)
In the last ten years, some 16 million women have stopped going to church. Are you one of them? Join us for a conversation about why we’ve been rethinking church—and why it may be time for you to go back.
Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!
My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it. My wife and I got married about...
#457 How To Build a Flourishing (not Flawless) Sex Life You’ll Both Love
Take the guess work out of your sex life and learn how to tell (or show) your spouse what feels good in the bedroom.
Q&A: Sex Has Never Been Pleasurable in Our Marriage. Should I Just Fake It?
If you don’t enjoy sex, should you just fake it?
#456 Overcoming Father Wounds: Trading My Pain for God’s Perfect Love
Kia Stephens knows many women (like herself) who looked to the arms of other men for the affirmation they longed to receive from their fathers. You’ll love her humor, wisdom, and vulnerability as she shares how she traded the pain of what her earthly father couldn’t give her for the perfect love of her heavenly Father.
Why We Don’t Experience Victory
I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other people who feel similar discouragement...
Q&A: How Do I Love My LGBTQ Friends Without Compromising Biblical Truth?
Is it possible to love your LGBTQ friends without compromising biblical truth?
#455 How God Changed My Heart (Even After I Changed My Gender) with Laura Smalts
For most of her childhood, Laura wanted to be a boy. In her 20s, she began hormone therapy, had surgery and lived as Jake for nine years. But she could never quite shake the feeling that none of it was real. “I remember looking at the photo on my driver’s license and saying, ‘I’m not as happy as I think I am.'” In this episode, Laura shares her remarkable story of desperation, hope and transformation.
Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples?
It isn’t uncommon for us to receive questions from married couples asking about a normal frequency for sex. Should they have sex once a week, twice a week, or every day?! We understand that it can be challenging for two people with different levels of desire for sex...
Q&A: What Is the Difference Between Sexual Integrity and Purity?
What is the difference between sexual integrity and purity?
#453 Teens Are Anxious, Sad and Lonely. Here’s How You Can Help
Teen girls and LGBQ+ youth are experiencing more sadness, hopelessness, and violence than ever before. Join Juli and Dr. Mark Mayfield, an expert in suicide prevention, to learn what you can do to help the teens in your life feel seen, loved, and valued.
What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires?
“What do I do with my sexual desire?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do...
#452 Porn Addiction in Marriage: How to Let God Redeem Your Story
When it comes to porn, the gender gap is closing. Meet two women who know that overcoming a pornography addiction or sexual shame is not about changing your behavior but about allowing Jesus to transform your identity. One is the Samaritan women who met Jesus at the well and the other is Jessica Harris, Juli’s guest on “Java with Juli.”
¿Qué hace que una relación sea íntima?
¿Qué hace que una relación sea íntima? Hace unos años, estaba hablando en un campus universitario sobre el diseño de Dios para la sexualidad. Durante un descanso, una joven se me acercó con una pregunta. “Dijiste que Dios me creó para la intimidad. ¿No es la intimidad...
Q&A: Is Sending Nudes and Homemade Porn Okay if We’re Married?
What’s okay to do sexually in marriage?
#451 Porn Addiction and Women: Break the Silence, Bring the Hope
When it comes to porn, the gender gap is closing. Meet two women who know that overcoming a pornography addiction or sexual shame is not about changing your behavior but about allowing Jesus to transform your identity. One is the Samaritan women who met Jesus at the well and the other is Jessica Harris, Juli’s guest on “Java with Juli.”
What Defines an Intimate Relationship?
A few years ago, I was speaking at a college campus about God’s design for sexuality. During a break, a young woman approached me with a question, “You said that God created me for intimacy. Isn’t intimacy the same thing as having sex?” (Presione aquí para leer en...
#450 Breaking the Marriage Idol
We’re just gonna to say it. There’s an unspoken assumption in the Church that if you’re single there must something wrong with you—and that marriage can fix it. Are you guilty of having this thought? Join the conversation about how we’ve idolized marriage and how we can do better.
Q&A: How Can I Steward My Sexuality as a Single?
How do you steward your sexuality as a single person?
#449 How to Guide Your Kids Through Confusing Messages About Gender
Juli and her guest share wisdom and encouragement to help you give clear answers to your kids’ questions about their gender and the way God created them.
#448: When Did Sexual Identity Become a Thing? (and Why Are We Obsessed With It?)
Sexual identity has become a common phrase, a personal choice, a political cause and, for many, the way we introduce ourselves to others (used even by tweens and teens who’ve never had a sexual experience)—and it feels like it all happened overnight. Do you ever wonder how we got here?
#447: Strengthen Your Marriage Today (and Be Ready for Whatever 2023 May Bring)
Juli Slattery and Gary Thomas share wisdom and insight to keep your marriage together when the storms of life threaten to rip it apart.
Q&A: Where Do I Begin Healing?
Where do you start in your healing journey?
#446: How Much More of Your Sexuality Will You Let God Reclaim in 2023?
Juli shares her thoughts on 2022, on having hard conversations about sexuality, and how to ask God to use painful...
#445: Give the Gift of Seeing the Good in What You Have
Seeing the good in all things does not mean ignoring the bad. Rather, as we approach the hard things, we see the...
#444: A Heart Set Free From Shame and Lies Is a Gift
Open the gift that allows you to experience real intimacy. Our long-awaited Savior came to set us free from sin and shame. Will you exchange your heart for His?
#443: Is Your View of Sex and Marriage Gift-worthy?
When marriage is simply about getting our needs met, we end up playing whack-a-mole with symptoms of sin and brokenness that pop up...
#442: How To Find Peace and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety
Linda Dillow shares about the loss of her daughter during the pandemic, how God used the message of “Calm My Anxious Heart” to...