Q&A: Does my Spouse Watch Porn Because of me?

 

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Full Transcript

Some women ask, ‘Does my husband look at pornography because of me?’ In that situation, a lot of wives will feel like ‘there must be something wrong with me.”My husband doesn’t find me attractive, why does he keep going to porn?’

And first of all, let me tell you that you’re not responsible for another person’s choices. That’s your husband’s responsibility to steward his own sexuality and the enemy, Satan will tell you lies like he’s looking at porn because you’re not good enough, you’re not beautiful enough. And that’s just not true.

The way pornography works is it tricks a person’s brain to want things that are unnatural. And so as somebody who uses porn over and over again, they’re gonna find normal sex, no matter who it’s with, as less satisfying than what pornography offers. And second of all, you need to realize that there’s nothing you can do to stop your husband from using porn. That’s his decision. But you can draw boundaries, and you can say, ‘Hey, listen, in the covenant of marriage, we’re supposed to be exclusively for one another. And so I would really like for us to get some outside help in addressing this’. Understand that pornography, for a lot of people, they started looking at it when they were 10, 11, 12 years old, and they become addicted to it and may need some outside help and support to get through that.

And so don’t get discouraged. Don’t take it personally. Pray for your husband, fight for intimacy in your marriage, and look for those resources that can really help you as a couple.