What’s it Like To Be Married to Me Facilitators

Get to Know Loie

Wednesdays, 12–1:30 p.m. ET


From the outside, we seemed happily married, but internally we were facing challenging personal battles. After 24 years of marriage, it felt like we still didn’t really know and understand each other. Loie was struggling so much with fear and stress that it was manifesting itself in her body. Years of unaddressed conflict were taking their toll.

In 2018, we were listening to the FamilyLife podcast and heard Juli being interviewed about her book “Rethinking Sexuality”. We began diving deep into Authentic Intimacy resources. As we went through podcasts and books, God began to reveal areas in our lives He wanted to heal. Loie had deep childhood trauma she needed to revisit. We had no community. Our marriage was suffering.

Encouraged by Juli on the podcast, we sought healing through marriage intensives and trauma therapy. Loie participated in an Online Coaching Intensive with Jennifer Degler, found community with an Online Book Study, and then attended last year’s Reclaim Conference. Today, after 29 years of marriage, our marriage is thriving, and we finally feel that we are getting to know and understand one another, something even our adult kids have benefitted from. Loie says her faith has deepened, her body has started to heal, and that she and Ivan are committed to building community. I went from kind of feeling like I was a spectator in life to now feeling like I am part of my world.

One of the first books that really convicted me back in 2018 was, What’s it Like to be Married to Me, by Linda Dillow. Not only did it challenge me to take a serious look at myself, but my walk with the Lord. I am eager to come along side women who are serious about seeking what God wants for them in their marriage.

My favorite thing about the group was the honesty. We’ve managed to become quite vulnerable and honest as a group and this really helps. It enables God to touch us all where we are. Loie makes this possible! She doesn’t dominate at all, she lets the discussion go where it goes, but at times brings us back to a quote from the book or a bible verse. And I really like her personal reflection emails each week. I’m so pleased to be part of this group!