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The Very Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting

I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to movies. Mike and I are still very different. While that continues to create disagreement, we rarely fight anymore. We d...

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How to say “Yes, Yes, Yes!” after “No, No, No!”

As we round the corner into late spring, it’s wedding season. Although every new marriage has its unique struggles, some questions newlyweds ask are somewhat predictable. One of them is represented by the title of this blog. This question is not just asked by the bride who has waited for marriage, but also for those who have “tasted the forbidden fruit” of sexual pleasure a...

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God's Healing Stinks

Have you ever had the experience of God “unfolding” the meaning of a Scripture passage in your heart? Recently, He’s been doing that in my heart with John 11. This is the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Over the years, I have read this story in John, heard sermons preached on it and even read a book or two related to it. But as I’ve studied it in the cont...

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Why We Don’t Experience Victory

I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other women who feel similar discouragement in their marriage or on their healing journey. Why do followers of Jesus stay captive to sin? Why doesn’t God ...

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Why We Need to Care About Sex In the News

I am sometimes lovingly accused of being so lost in my work and family that I don’t know what is going on in the world. It’s as if the Hannah and Carrie from the Authentic Intimacy team knock on the hatch of my “submarine” to tell me about the latest trends and debates. Within the last few weeks, Carrie and Hannah have kept my inbox full with articles and trends to r...

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Are You Leaning In or Leaning Up?

A few years ago, Sheryl Sandberg (the CEO of Facebook and now Google), wrote a best-selling book, Lean In. She shared her observations about women, careers and what keeps women from advancement in the workplace. While I think Lean In has some practical advice for young, aspiring women, it doesn’t take God’s call on our lives into account. Rather than point out the faults in the phil...

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Why Your Story Matters

Have you ever wondered if your life matters? Out of all of the people on the planet, why is your life unique? From the time of my childhood, I’ve heard that I was made “in the image of God.” This one truth sets all humanity apart from every other created being. As “image bearers” men and women have a special relationship with God and purpose in life. It is a gre...

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Encountering the Radical Love of Jesus

Through our work at Authentic Intimacy, Linda Dillow and I have met hundreds of women on a healing journey. Some are dealing with sexual trauma, others infidelity and betrayal, and still others can’t shake the shame from their past. We have witnessed the power of our God’s healing and believe that he invites each of us to exchange our “ashes for beauty” and “our mo...

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Is Sexual Intimacy A “Sacrament”?

A lot of married couples consider their sexual relationship as an optional addition to the true substance of marriage, doing life together. In the hectic pace of managing careers, raising children, and helping others, getting naked together can seem like a nice perk on those rare occasions when you have extra time and energy. A marriage cannot thrive without good communication, but a great sex ...

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Who is at the Center of Your Marriage?

What is the most effective glue in marriage? Many modern couples would answer, “our children.” The Atlantic recently published an article stating that modern marriages are becoming more child-centered. It is an emerging trend for several reasons. Most notably, more marriages are starting with children who pre-date the couple. What may be less obvious are the unconscious motivations ...

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