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Want Your Marriage To Go the Distance? You'll Need More Than "Artificial Intimacy"

Here’s a little secret I learned a few years into marriage: I didn’t know if I really loved Mike until I felt no feelings of love toward him. The sense of “feeling love” had to fade away for me to be able to learn how to really love my husband. My friend, and this week's guest blogger, Gary Thomas gets this. If you're wondering if authentic intimacy can be kindle...

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How Do I Help a Friend Who Constantly Looks to Men for Affirmation?

As women, we naturally seek affirmation from men. In this Q&A video, Juli helps us think through how things get lopsided when we begin to believe that how we look, or what we have to offer sexually, are the only things that make us valuable or worthy of love. For more on this topic, you might like: Java with Juli #358: Sexuality, Spirituality, and Why We Settle for Counterfeit Inti...

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Can Shame Ever Be a Good Thing?

“Shame on you!” If you grew up in my generation, this is a sentence you probably heard as a child. You were told that you should be ashamed of the way you treated your sister, for stealing that candy bar, or for talking back. These are also words that I’ve probably never spoken to my own children. Why? Because I’d feel shame for simply telling my children they should ...

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A teen girl is hinting at feeling same-sex attracted. How do I invite her into conversation?

A 15-year old girl in my Bible study has started hinting at a struggle with same-sex attraction. How do I invite her into a conversation about it? In this Q&A video, learn why helping a young girl sort through same-sex attraction doesn't start with talking to her about sexuality, but with helping her understand her identity in Christ. Here are some of the resources Juli mentions: ...

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What Kind of Lover Are You?

As women, we typically view sex as a way of expressing the love and intimacy we feel in our hearts. It’s definitely a challenge to be sexually intimate when those feelings of love are absent. For the first decade of our marriage, it irritated me when my husband wanted sex when we had barely spoken. From his perspective, sex was the way we could connect and feel close. So, we were at a sta...

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Do Romance Novels Affect Girls the Way Porn Affects Guys?

"Would you say that romance novels affect girls the way that pornography affects guys?" The answer is yes – and no. In this Q&A video, learn the similarities and differences between romance novels and pornography. If you'd like to keep learning, check out these follow-up resources: Get Juli's book Pulling Back the Shades; Erotica, Intimacy, and the L...

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Sexual Discipleship®: What Is It, and Why Is It Important?

(Presione aquí para leer en español) For the past five years, I’ve been using this term “sexual discipleship®" to describe the passion behind the ministry Authentic Intimacy. I’ve noticed that when people hear me put those two words together, they are intrigued. Although you may have been discipled in your walk with Christ at some point, chances are, ...

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Q&A: How Do I Connect With My Emotionally Disconnected Husband?

Dear Juli, My husband seems to have very little emotional awareness or energy. He avoids sex when he is emotionally drained, which seems often. I feel resentful that he doesn't save anything for me. When I share how I'm feeling, it just creates a bigger divide. How can I approach this issue more constructively? Are you trying to connect with a disconnected husband? Juli has wisdo...

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3 Things I (Wish I Hadn't) Learned From Pornography

When I was a fifth grader, my friend opened my laptop and introduced me to pornography. At the time, I didn’t know what pornography was, but I did know that it was something new and exciting. Years would go by before I rediscovered porn. In college, after experiencing date rape (my first time having intercourse), I had many questions about sex. My curiosity led me to my reliable friend...

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Q&A: How Do I Have Meaningful Conversations With My Gay Sibling—or Do I?

In this Q&A video, Juli shares advice on reconciling relationships with LGBT+ friends and loved ones. Forty years ago, my brother came out to my mom, dad, and siblings in an abrupt manner. Since then, there have been almost no conversations—it’s just the elephant in the room. We live on opposite sides of the US and we rarely see or talk to each other. How do I start having me...

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