“I feel like I’m married to a child!” says the woman who claims her husband just won’t grow up....
Authentic Intimacy
Your Kids Need Your Husband to Be Their Father
I can remember the day vividly – my invitation to motherhood. Mike and I were visiting his brother and sister-in-law in Madison, Wisconsin and I was feeling more exhausted than normal. I was a few days “late” but we were using birth control, so surely I couldn’t be...
Should You Tell Your Partner About Your Sexual Past?
Women often ask me about how much of your past is healthy to share in intimate relationships. How much does a potential husband need to know about your sexual experiences and struggles? How much should he tell you? This is one of those issues that relationship coaches...
#119: Talking with Your Kids About Homosexuality and Transgender Issues
Talking to your children about homosexuality and transgender issues are some of the biggest challenges for today’s Christian...
#118: When To Talk To Your Kids About Sex
Do you remember when your mom or dad sat you down to have “the talk”? Are you wondering when and how you should approach this...
The Erosion of Gender and You
Over the past few decades, we’ve slowly been eroding what it means to be male and female. Recently this movement has culminated in normalizing transgenderism and the vilification of anyone who stands upon a traditional definition of male and female. Just last week,...
#63: Hope and Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse
Statistically, one in four women have been sexually abused as a child. Often times to mask their wounds, these women...
Coming to Terms with Sexual Desire as a Single Woman
“Just wait for marriage,” so I’ve been told. So I’ve waited . . . and waited. And as I’ve waited, I’ve begun to wonder, If marriage doesn’t come, what am I waiting for? I remember the True Love Waits talks in middle and high school. The message was that sex was bad...
Help! My Husband Is The One With The Headache
Watch a movie or flip through some TV sitcoms and you will hear men always want sex. Men are portrayed as constantly turned on and trying to get their wives into bed while the women are typically shown rolling their eyes. Ask a group “What do men think about most...
#116: How to Love Your Husband with Your Whole Heart
Very few of us go to the altar and vow to give our husbands "most of" our hearts. On our wedding day we’re all in! But after the...
#114: Why You Need Other Moms in Your Life
Do you ever feel like you’re the only one whose kids are still wearing yesterday’s clothes, smear their boogers on the wall, or are...
#113: Why Friendships In Marriage Are Important
Juli, Linda, and Hannah discuss the importance of married couples having other married couples in their lives. Not only...
#110: How to Find Your Identity in Jesus
On this episode of Java with Juli, Dr. Juli Slattery is joined by Yvette Maher and author Heather Holleman. They candidly discuss...
Is Sexual Intimacy A “Sacrament”?
A lot of married couples consider their sexual relationship as an optional addition to the true substance of marriage, doing life together. In the hectic pace of managing careers, raising children, and helping others, getting naked together can seem like a nice perk...
#100: A Marriage and Faith Wake Up Call
Have you ever gotten to the point where you think, I don't know if I can do this anymore? We all...
The Very Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting
I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to...
How to say “Yes, Yes, Yes!” after “No, No, No!”
As we round the corner into late spring, it’s wedding season. Although every new marriage has its unique struggles, some questions newlyweds ask are somewhat predictable. One of them is represented by the title of this blog. This question is not just asked by the...
God’s Healing Stinks
(Presione aquí para leer en español.) Have you ever had the experience of God “unfolding” the meaning of a Scripture passage in your heart? Recently, He’s been doing that in my heart with John 11. This is the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Over the...
Why We Need to Care About Sex In the News
I am sometimes lovingly accused of being so lost in my work and family that I don’t know what is going on in the world. It’s as if the Hannah and Carrie from the Authentic Intimacy team knock on the hatch of my “submarine” to tell me about the latest trends and...
#112: When Life Doesn’t Turn Out the Way You’ve Planned
Shana Miller got married for the first time when she was 46 years old. In this conversation with Juli, Shana shares how she...
Are You Leaning In or Leaning Up?
A few years ago, Sheryl Sandberg (the CEO of Facebook and now Google), wrote a best-selling book, Lean In. She shared her observations about women, careers and what keeps women from advancement in the workplace. While I think Lean In has some practical advice for...
Why Your Story Matters
Have you ever wondered if your life matters? Out of all of the people on the planet, why is your life unique? From the time of my childhood, I’ve heard that I was made “in the image of God.” This one truth sets all humanity apart from every other created being. As...
Encountering the Radical Love of Jesus
Through our work at Authentic Intimacy, Linda Dillow and I have met hundreds of women on a healing journey. Some are dealing with sexual trauma, others infidelity and betrayal, and still others can’t shake the shame from their past. We have witnessed the power of our...
Who is at the Center of Your Marriage?
What is the most effective glue in marriage? Many modern couples would answer, “our children.” The Atlantic recently published an article stating that modern marriages are becoming more child-centered. It is an emerging trend for several reasons. Most notably, more...
What Should You Do If Your Husband Looks at Porn?
(Presione aquí para leer en español). “Last night I walked in on my husband viewing porn. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I feel so violated—like I could never share my body with him again. Why should I, anyway? I could never compete with porn!” If your...
Lady Gaga and Jesus the Healer
It is not often that I find myself in agreement with Lady Gaga and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, but last night was an exception. In a dramatic presentation, Lady Gaga performed Till it Happens To You as dozens of male and female victims of sexual...
Why We Must Be Surprised by the Healer
This month I gave birth to my eighth book. Actually, it was a “co-labor” with my dear friend and mentor, Linda Dillow. When I use the word “labor,” I mean it. This book, Surprised by the Healer, was probably the most difficult that either of us has ever written....
3 Things Sex and Junk Food Have in Common
I recently read a book about sexual patterns among young adults called Premarital Sex in America by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker. Let’s just say that the news is not good. Americans are having sex younger and sooner in relationships, with more people and are...
What Do You Do When the Person You’re Dating Struggles With Porn?
Dear Juli, I'm currently in a season of singleness, but I've had two serious relationships with godly guys before this. Both (not right away) admitted to struggling/having struggled with pornography. At first, I was shocked and a little disgusted. Talking to them,...
Don’t Be Spontaneous In Marriage
Want to watch a group of women swoon? Tell a story about a husband who was completely spontaneous. There is something about the mystery and surprise of impromptu romance that fills women with passion! Anything from randomly picking up flowers to a last minute road...
Is There a Christian Version of Barbie?
This past year, Barbie has been in the news. For 57 years, this plastic woman has projected the ideal and unattainable image for American girls. The Daily Mail reported in 2013; a real-life Barbie would have “bones so frail it would be impossible to walk and would...
Pornography & Our Kids
Our nation was recently appalled to discover that a city government in Flint, Michigan has been serving their citizens poisonous water for over a year. When concerns were raised, government officials gaffed them off as isolated incidents. Tragically, young children...
How To Be A Good Listener
Has anyone ever told you that your ears are beautiful? Even sexy? I’ll let you in on a little secret: your ears just may be the most attractive part of your body. No, God didn’t make ears physically appealing. In fact, they seem to look the best when they blend into...
Is It Wrong to Get Plastic Surgery?
If you look in the mirror long enough, you’re going to see things you don’t like. Wrinkles, a nose that’s too big, flabby skin, and a body that is a better fit for Good Housekeeping than Vogue. Maybe you don’t have to look into the mirror to notice these things. Your...
How Do We Determine Right and Wrong?
In response to some of the posts I’ve written on issues like transgenderism and Fifty Shades of Grey, I’ve heard from women who are angry that I would present some sexual choices or lifestyles as morally wrong. Here is an example: Who are you to say that sleeping with...
5 Secrets to Intimacy with God
Intimacy with God . . . what a strange concept! How can I be intimate with someone I can’t see, hear, or touch? God and I can’t go out for coffee or even give each other a hug. Yet we know that God created us for intimate fellowship with him. What is that supposed to...
A Christian Mom, Her Sexual Addiction, and Forgiveness
Sexual addiction doesn’t always have the face you think it will. I was speaking at a large women’s leaders conference in Texas. In the middle of worship, I suddenly found a woman weeping uncontrollably in my arms. I escorted her out of the room, holding her as she...
Confessions of a Former Erotica Author
I had the opportunity to have coffee with Francine Rivers, bestselling author of Redeeming Love. Francine used to write erotic historical fiction. She offers insight into how erotica is a harmful escape, both to the author and reader. You can listen to our...
Listening Guide: Sexuality Meets Discipleship
Our culture is adept at sexual discipleship. Have you noticed? In every media outlet imaginable, we are confronted with an aggressive message of how to think about marriage, sexual activity, and sexual identity. Even Christians are far more likely to think like the...