Within the past few months, several different people have posed questions to me about the importance of sexual attraction. - A young woman asked, “I am in a dating relationship with a great guy. We connect on a lot of levels, but I’m not sexually attracted to him....
“¿Qué hago con mis deseos sexuales?” He escuchado esta pregunta por parte de hombres y de mujeres, por parte de personas que nunca han estado casadas y por parte de personas que ahora son “solteros de nuevo.” También he escuchado esta pregunta por parte de personas...
Ya que mi trabajo consiste en hablar con mujeres acerca del sexo, hay pocas preguntas que no haya escuchado y que no haya respondido. Sin embargo, hay una pregunta muy común que no me gusta responder. ¿Está bien masturbarse? Esta pregunta es un...
When Clinton and Charity Muñoz sought help to overcome a porn addiction, Clinton was told to memorize more...
Are you dating someone and wondering if the red flags you see are reason enough to break up with him or her? Do your friends and family have concerns about the relationship? If you feel in your heart that something is just not right, don’t ignore it. It might be the...
Cuando las mujeres abordan temas de sexualidad, las preguntas más comunes usualmente tienen que ver con cuáles cosas está bien que una mujer cristiana interactúe y con cuáles no. Quieren saber cuáles son los límites....
If there is one place in the Bible that gives women permission to have fun, to explore and to enjoy sexual pleasure, it’s the poetic...
Wearing sunglasses on rainy days. Using turtlenecks to hide choke marks. Running. Hiding. Ramona Probasco never thought she would do...
Being intentional about the business of marriage builds intimacy. When couples make decisions together, their emotions and buy-in...
This is part three of a three-part series from Juli's book Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited. As recently as a few decades ago, many Christian women believed that in order to be loving wives they had to limit their own personal potential. Loving and...
Overcoming Physical Barriers to Pleasure Part 2 in this webinar series Meet Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN. She has over 28 years of experience and a passion help women understand how their bodies are integrated with their minds, spirits, and emotions. In this webinar,...
The Priority of Mutual Pleasure in Healthy Sex Part 1 in this webinar series Juli and Dr. Debra Taylor, a certified Christian sex therapist, discuss the importance of pleasure within the larger picture of sexual intimacy, and how the pleasure we experience during sex...
Saying "Yes!" to Sexual Pleasure Part 3 in this webinar series In the final webinar in our series, Dr. Jennifer Degler brings her humor, candor, and expertise to help you understand how to get your brain and your body working together so that you can share the kind of...
From Sexual Trauma to Sexual Intimacy (It Takes Two) Part 3 in this webinar series In this final conversation, Juli talks with Matt Gutbrod, a sexual abuse survivor, and his wife, Victoria, a marriage and family therapist, about how couples can practice empathy and...
Do you feel stuck somewhere between "not married" and "not called to singleness"? Truth be told, few single Christians feel called...
This is part two of a three-part series from, "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited.”* A wife’s greatest dilemma is that you want your husband to lead, but you want him to lead the way you tell him to. There is a tension between desperately wanting to...
“I had one woman say, ‘I struggle with masturbation.’ And she just started crying. And then she said, ‘I’ve never said that word...
There's ED (erectile dysfunction), PE (premature...
What Is Sexual Trauma & How Does It Affect You? Part 2 in this webinar series If you're in Florida, find Aline-Vanya Guillaume at TherapyTerrace.com Sexual Trauma & It's Effect On Marriage an article by Aline-Vanya Guillaume, LPSW Unwanted by Jay...
The first in a 3-part series from "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited."* Author Margo Kaufman once wrote, “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” I’ve experienced this bind. Have you? I desperately want to build the hero in my...
“To be completely honest, the first two or three days, I was shocked by classic symptoms of withdrawal. I found...
Do you struggle with being single? Maybe you've been rethinking that 21-point list of "non-negotiable" qualities you need in a...
Here’s a little secret I learned a few years into marriage: I didn’t know if I really loved Mike until I felt no feelings of love toward him. The sense of “feeling love” had to fade away for me to be able to learn how to really love my husband. My friend, and this...
What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because you think you...
Your Abuse Story: How To Tell, What To Tell, & Why It Matters Part 1 in this webinar series Juli Slattery and Dawn Scott Damon talk about the reasons we don't share our abuse stories. We can be accused of lying or exaggerating. We're met with silence. Our pain is...
How long would you like foreplay to last? How important is it to have an orgasm every time we have sex? Complete this sentence:...
Cuando estaba en quinto grado, mi amiga abrió mi laptop y me introdujo al mundo de la pornografía. En ese tiempo, yo no sabía que era la pornografía, pero lo que sí supe fue que era...
“Shame on you!” If you grew up in my generation, this is a sentence you probably heard as a child. You were told that you should be ashamed of the way you treated your sister, for stealing that candy bar, or for talking back. These are also words that I’ve probably...
After sexual infidelity, how do you know when to start having sex again? Recovery is layered, complex, and different...
As women, we typically view sex as a way of expressing the love and intimacy we feel in our hearts. It’s definitely a challenge to be sexually intimate when those feelings of love are absent. For the first decade of our marriage, it irritated me when my husband wanted...
A complement, according to Webster, is “something that fills up, completes, or makes better or perfect.”...
We know. It’s hard to imagine talking to your sweet three or four-year-old about sex. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to. What...
When you’re feeling fearful, the last thing you need is a social media meme telling you to “tighten your ponytail and carry on.” A...
Tiffany Bluhm wishes this wasn’t her story to tell. Like most victims or bystanders of sexual harassment, she had everything to lose...
When I was a fifth grader, my friend opened my laptop and introduced me to pornography. At the time, I didn’t know what pornography was, but I did know that it was something new and exciting. Years would go by before I rediscovered porn. In college, after experiencing...
Have you ever turned to Netflix instead of pursuing sex with your spouse? Have you turned to Instagram instead ending your day by...
What is emotional safety? Look at it this way: an emotionally unsafe relationship is a place where you can’t be yourself. You’re...
Sex and love. They are supposed to go together, right? To hear some people talk, you might think that sex is the most important part of marriage, and if you listened to others, you’d think it really doesn’t matter at all. How important is a healthy sex life to...
That longing you have to be fully known? God put it there. It’s meant to draw you into intimacy with Him....
Don't tell your kids what to think about sex, teach them HOW to think about sex. Don't give them a list of...
We invited John Fort, the director of training at Be Broken Ministries, to be our guest writer for this article. John has many years of experience in sexual addiction recovery, both personally and professionally. He is also the author of Honest Talk: A New Perspective...
You learned to navigate close quarters, perfected family game night, and homeschooled your kids. As your community reopens, how do...
Every abuse story has unique layers of complexity and pain. The decision whether or not to tell someone else is often a difficult...
It’s been proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow us into adulthood. Memories, anxiety, and feelings of shame can leave women overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand—and their husbands equally confused! In this episode, Juli sits down with Dawn Scott Damon, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused, to share wisdom and insight for husbands, helping them to love their wives well through the journey of recovery and healing.
If you want to get “cancelled” in Christian culture, try using the phrase “sexual purity.” Even for many committed Christians, sexual purity has lost its luster. Women are writing dissertations and books about how the Church’s teaching on sex has not only harmed them...
Juli Slattery and Asheritah Ciuciu sit down for a conversation about the shortcomings of purity culture, the recent...
The women of the Bible have a lot to teach us. Their voices often give us the story behind the story—take Ruth for example, or the...
El estereotipo de una relación adúltera en el matrimonio ha sido típicamente la imagen de un marido infiel. El hombre tiene una aventura de una noche en un viaje de negocios o se enamora de su secretaria. Supongo que nunca se nos ocurrió...
After speaking at a marriage event, I spent time with couples who wanted to ask a question or share a comment. A young couple sat patiently and silently until everyone else had left the auditorium. As I sat down to talk with them, they could barely get the words out. The young man began, “This is really embarrassing, but we don’t know where else to go for help. Umm, we’ve been married for, umm, six years and umm….” His wife quietly finished his sentence, “I don’t know how to achieve an orgasm.”
It's hard to prioritize sexual intimacy when you don't understand why God created sex in the first place. Instead, you put up walls...
“I love online dating,” said no one ever. But if 1 in 5 committed relationships today began online, is it worth a try? In this...
In this episode, Juli continues her conversation with Preston Sprinkle as they dive into biblical questions around...
In the midst of my guilt and shame, frustration filled my mind. “I can’t believe I sinned… again. Does God hate me for my addiction? Will I ever find freedom?” Countless men and women I’ve talked to have asked similar questions. What are you supposed to do when you...
What was once a rare psychological diagnosis has quickly become an accepted cultural movement. While it's critical...
When you’re married, depression is a shared experience. There is no way to escape the impact of sharing a home...
Compassionate. Inclusive. Nonjudgmental. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a church like this? It’s why...
Durante los últimos años, he estado usando este término "discipulado sexual ™" para describir algo que verdaderamente nos apasiona en el ministerio de Intimidad Auténtica. Me he dado cuenta de que cuando las personas me escuchan unir esas dos palabras, se sienten...
Cathy and Jim had been married for almost 20 years. At the beginning of their marriage, neither of them took their Christian faith too seriously. An occasional visit to church was enough. Through the challenges of raising children, health scares and financial...
Alli Worthington says the popular message that “you are enough” is leaving women feeling overwhelmed and...
¿Sabías que las mujeres solteras son sexuales? ¿Que tu sexualidad no tiene nada que ver con tener sexo o no? Por ridículo que parezca, muchos cristianos crecen pensando que mágicamente se volverán seres sexuales cuando se casen. Los solteros son seres sexuales creados...
“Anoche encontré a mi esposo viendo pornografía. Esta no es la primera vez que sucede. Me siento tan violada, como si nunca pudiera volver a compartir mi cuerpo con él. De todos modos, ¿por qué debería? ¡Nunca podré competir con la pornografía!” Si tu esposo ha estado...
Lysa TerKeurst tells Juli about the brokenness and restoration of her marriage and how forgiveness is both a decision...
True confessions... I don't love Christmas. I didn't say I hate Christmas; I just don't love it. My ambivalence around this holiday has developed over time. Too many years of disappointment when a family member's illness cancelled our celebration and all the best...
¿Alguna vez has tenido una experiencia en la que Dios ha “revelado” el significado de un pasaje de las Escrituras en tu corazón? Recientemente, Él ha estado haciendo eso en mi corazón con Juan 11. Este es el relato de cuando Jesús resucitó a Lázaro de entre los...
Después de todos tus propios esfuerzos y tus agallas, tus oraciones y búsqueda de consejos, tus lecturas e investigaciones te das cuenta de que lo has intentado todo y aún persistes en tu lucha. Llegaste a ese punto en el que sabes que necesitas...
Siempre que hablo con un grupo de personas sobre sexualidad, trato de dejar tiempo para una sesión de preguntas y respuestas anónimas. No importa quién esté escuchando, joven o viejo, hombre o mujer, casado o soltero, estoy segura de que me preguntarán sobre la...
We talk often on Java with Juli about our culture’s confusing messages around sexuality. But today’s guest,...
I’m in my-mid forties, divorced, and lonely. I love God and want to follow His plan for sex and marriage, but I just can’t find a man who is willing to share that journey with me. I’m not the naive young woman “saving sex for marriage” like I was in my twenties. I’m...
Circumstances in Laurie’s life started triggering her memories of childhood sexual abuse. Her lifelong struggle...
The word “modesty” makes us cringe these days, and it’s easy to understand why: For years it’s...
*Trigger warning, mention of assault and trauma. This past spring, I spent 30 nights alone in the hospital without my loving husband by my side. One night, as I laid in my hospital bed, I thought back on the decision I made to marry him. Little did I know how my...
Kids & Porn: How and When You Should Talk to Your Child About Pornography Part 3 of this webinar series From questions like, "Mommy, how will that baby get out of your tummy?" to trends on TikTok and Instagram, everyday life is rich with opportunities to connect...
The Birds & Bees: How to Talk to Young Children About Sex Part 2 of this webinar series From questions like, "Mommy, how will that baby get out of your tummy?" to trends on TikTok and Instagram, everyday life is rich with opportunities to connect with your kids...
Teens: Teach Them HOW, Not WHAT, to Think About Sex Part 1 in this webinar series From questions like, "Mommy, how will that baby get out of your tummy?" to trends on TikTok and Instagram, everyday life is rich with opportunities to connect with your kids and share...
If you were standing in front of a crowd of 300 to speak, how carefully would you craft your words? Okay, so you’re actually at home...
As a single person, your sexuality isn’t defined by a list of “do's and don’ts” or captured by simplistic questions like, “What does...
A man approached me after hearing me speak on the topic of sexual intimacy and thanked me for talking openly about such a vulnerable subject. Then he began sharing his story with me. He had just divorced his wife of 29 years because of a lack of fulfilling sex in...
Dr. Doug Rosenau, a pioneer in Christian sex therapy, has been answering questions about sex for decades—long...
Are you discouraged by what is happening in our world today? Have you recently found yourself asking, “Lord, why have you allowed...
(Presione aquí para leer en español.) Whenever I speak to a group of people about sexuality, I try to include time for an anonymous Q&A session. No matter who is listening, young or old, male or female, married or single, I am sure to be asked...
We used to say, "If you don’t talk to your kids about sex, someone else will." These days, there is no more “if” about it! Whether...
In this episode, Juli sits down with Mark & Rosie Makinney to debunk misconceptions about pornography and marriage --many of...
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. Esta pregunta es un barril de pólvora; un asunto sensible...
Las personas que escuchan nuestro podcast, Java con Juli, saben que no me gusta hablar por hablar. Desde que era una niña, he sido capaz de sentir agudamente la tensión tácita en una habitación. Me pongo ansiosa cuando tengo un conflicto sin resolver con un amigo o...
Esto me lo preguntan mucho. A menudo, una mujer se me acerca con timidez en un evento y dice: «Soy una de esas mujeres de las que habló que tiene más deseo sexual que su esposo. ¿Qué debo hacer?». Puesto que las mujeres en esta situación desafían el estereotipo, a...
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. Detesto el sexo. Me enoja escuchar que incluso sugieres que se supone que se disfrute. He estado casada por...
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. Esta pregunta es un barril de pólvora; un asunto sensible en extremo. Si tienes tendencias homosexuales o...
Extraído de 25 Preguntas Que Tienes Miedo de Hacer Sobre el Amore, el Sexo, y la Intimidad de Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 en Unilit Publishers. Usado con permiso. No existe un dolor mayor como el de descubrir que tu esposo te ha sido infiel. Es como si todo tu mundo se...
One of Hettie’s greatest fears was that she would be raped. In her home country of South Africa, it is estimated...
“We are being shaped by a culture that idolizes romantic and sexual fulfillment. And I just think—Jesus was...
No, Lord, not another one! My stomach feels sick every time I see the headline of a Christian leader accused of sexual misconduct. Over the years some of you have reached out to ask me what I think about high profile accusations of Christian leaders. You’ve wondered...
In parenting, shame is unavoidable. As a mom or dad, at times you'll likely feel ashamed of how you’re doing as a parent or of how...
Life is tends to put labels on us. We even pin labels on ourselves. More often than not, these labels are hurtful,...
I’ll never forget how I felt the first time I looked into the mirror after being date raped in college. I stood there naked, alone, and ashamed. I began to question God and His love for me. Soon after this moment, I cried out to God in a journal entry. I wrote, God do...
It’s easy to love the neighbor who looks like us, thinks like us, and believes like us. With those who don't fall into those...
Theology meets real life in this episode of Java with Juli! We’re asking the difficult questions about identity and sexuality: Why...
An early theologian once wrote, “We know that when a couple has sexual intercourse, the Holy Spirit leaves the room.” If you were...
As a Christian psychologist, I sometimes feel like I’m in the crosshairs of pastors and therapists who disagree about the road to healing. Those who study theology and teach the Bible often emphasize the importance of God’s Word and prayer. Christians in the therapy...
"Will I cause a set-back in my husband’s recovery if I say no to sex?" "My daughter talks to me about her porn addiction, but...