Q: Is there one person I'm meant to marry, or should I just choose a good man? A: This question isn't simply a contemplative exercise; it impacts how you approach dating and marriage. However, I think it is the wrong question to be asking. The question of "Is there...
Authentic Intimacy
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3
One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1
“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...
A Road Map to Sexual Integrity in the Midst of Sexual Brokenness
Do you want to know the question that keeps me up at night? It’s this: How can I honor God with my sexuality in the face of my sexual brokenness and unmet desires? At Authentic Intimacy, we often use words like sexual wholeness or sexual integrity instead of sexual...
Are You a Good Friend? 7 Keys to Building Healthy Friendship
Several months ago, a friend invited me to coffee. After catching up on kids and ministry, I noticed her countenance shift. She obviously was struggling to share something difficult with me. After a few deep breaths, my friend explained how several years ago I had...
#214: Answers To Your Questions About Sex, with Dr. Juli Slattery & Linda Dillow
Is it “dirty” to dress up for your husband in the bedroom? Is it wrong to masturbate if your husband can’t have sex? What if your...
What To Wear in the Bedroom?
Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...
#391: Make Your Relationship Better With a Few Intentional Habits
Relationships naturally find ruts. With our natural bent toward self-love, we easily get stuck focusing on our own needs or...
#389: Thinking About Becoming a Blended Family?
Blended family couples have honeymoon phases too!—they just usually come a little later. Even the strongest couples will face...
#381: “Show It Off” or “Cover It Up”: Messages That Shape Our Body Image
What messages have you been told about your body and your sexuality? At the coffee shop with Juli are two...
#380: How To Have Honest Conversations With Your Kids About Sex
How do you create an environment in your home where your kids feel OK talking about sex? When they struggle, how do you protect...
#36: What Kind of Love Are You Making?
If there is one place in the Bible that gives women permission to have fun, to explore and to enjoy sexual pleasure, it’s the poetic...
#371: Schedule Sex and Dry Cleaning In the Same Conversation? It Works
Being intentional about the business of marriage builds intimacy. When couples make decisions together, their emotions and buy-in...
Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 3
Saying "Yes!" to Sexual Pleasure Part 3 in this webinar series In the final webinar in our series, Dr. Jennifer Degler brings her humor, candor, and expertise to help you understand how to get your brain and your body working together so that you can share the kind of...
#370: Why the Single Life Is Uniquely Meaningful and Totally Ordinary
Do you feel stuck somewhere between "not married" and "not called to singleness"? Truth be told, few single Christians feel called...
#369: Changing the Way We Talk About Porn (Because Women Struggle Too)
“I had one woman say, ‘I struggle with masturbation.’ And she just started crying. And then she said, ‘I’ve never said that word...
#368: Aging Bodies Can Still Enjoy Sexuality. Are You Giving Up Too Soon?
There's ED (erectile dysfunction), PE (premature...
#95: The Dating Manifesto
Do you struggle with being single? Maybe you've been rethinking that 21-point list of "non-negotiable" qualities you need in a...
#366: No More Pushing Past the Pain! God Cares About Your Sexual Pleasure
What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because you think you...
#362: How To Become a Better “Better Half” with Jamie Ivey
A complement, according to Webster, is “something that fills up, completes, or makes better or perfect.”...
#359: How To Help Women Speak Out Against Sexual Harassment
Tiffany Bluhm wishes this wasn’t her story to tell. Like most victims or bystanders of sexual harassment, she had everything to lose...
#358: Sexuality, Spirituality, and Why We Settle For Counterfeit Intimacy
Have you ever turned to Netflix instead of pursuing sex with your spouse? Have you turned to Instagram instead ending your day by...
#357: Emotional Safety: What It Is and Why You Need It
What is emotional safety? Look at it this way: an emotionally unsafe relationship is a place where you can’t be yourself. You’re...
#356: Sex & the City of God (What Life Looks Like When We Love God First)
That longing you have to be fully known? God put it there. It’s meant to draw you into intimacy with Him....
#353: Why Telling Your Abuse Story is Complex, Courageous & Healing
Every abuse story has unique layers of complexity and pain. The decision whether or not to tell someone else is often a difficult...
#350: Making Time To Make Love (Especially When You Don’t Feel Like It)
It's hard to prioritize sexual intimacy when you don't understand why God created sex in the first place. Instead, you put up walls...
#345: What You Need to Know About Progressive Christianity
Compassionate. Inclusive. Nonjudgmental. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a church like this? It’s why...
#341: When Staying Married Feels Impossible
Circumstances in Laurie’s life started triggering her memories of childhood sexual abuse. Her lifelong struggle...
#338: Single and Sexual
As a single person, your sexuality isn’t defined by a list of “do's and don’ts” or captured by simplistic questions like, “What does...
#337: Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask About Sex
Dr. Doug Rosenau, a pioneer in Christian sex therapy, has been answering questions about sex for decades—long...
#336: Disappointed With God? Tell Him
Are you discouraged by what is happening in our world today? Have you recently found yourself asking, “Lord, why have you allowed...
#335: Teaching Our Kids a Biblical Worldview of Sexuality
We used to say, "If you don’t talk to your kids about sex, someone else will." These days, there is no more “if” about it! Whether...
#334: What Your Pastor Needs to Know About Porn
In this episode, Juli sits down with Mark & Rosie Makinney to debunk misconceptions about pornography and marriage --many of...
#140: The Story of A Rape Survivor
One of Hettie’s greatest fears was that she would be raped. In her home country of South Africa, it is estimated...
#333: Is God Good …Even if You’re LGBT?
“We are being shaped by a culture that idolizes romantic and sexual fulfillment. And I just think—Jesus was...
#332: Parenting Your Kids Without Shame
In parenting, shame is unavoidable. As a mom or dad, at times you'll likely feel ashamed of how you’re doing as a parent or of how...
#325: BONUS! When Sex Hurts, Pelvic Floor Therapy Can Help
Past trauma, childbirth, a physical fall—just a few of the MANY reasons you might experience painful sex or sexual dysfunction....
#324: Sex Therapy: What Is It, and Why Should You Go?
Online Christian sex therapy—yes, you read that right. Did you know that there are therapists trained specifically to address issues...
#322: The Secret Superpower of Kindness
Think about your toughest relationship: The wife who only ever seems to offer you the cold shoulder. The husband you’re finding it...
#321: Taking Your Marriage Back From Porn
One of the most painful experiences as a wife is learning of your husband’s porn addiction—or learning that...
#318: Why Are We Afraid to Touch?
Let’s face it: As Christians, we’re kind of afraid to touch. Touch feels unsafe and sexual—even...
Java Pack: Conversations that Heal
This Java Pack is a Christian leader’s guide to addressing sexual pain. As Christians, we often spend a lot of time debating what we should believe about sexuality. We may devote some time to ensuring we are personally honoring God with our own sexual choices....
#311: Where Is God When We Suffer?
Sometimes life gets so hard, we doubt that Jesus is still with us. Did he abandon us? Was our faith even real in the...
#310: Is God Sexist?
Is God sexist? Does he value men more than he values women? If you've ever wrestled with this question, a...
Taming the Tongue on Groundhog Day
I’ve heard a lot of people comment that life right now feels like the movie “Groundhog Day”—the same thing over and over again with no end in sight. While there are blessings in having our lives slow down, there are also tensions and frustrations that overflow out of...
Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It
The sad truth is that the damage of porn goes far beyond the person consuming it and also affects their relationships, the people in their lives, and culture as a whole.
#222: What’s Your Money Personality?
The two biggest areas of conflict in marriage are sex and money. We talk a lot about sex on Java with Juli, but today we're talking...
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. When my husband and I...
Webinar: When Marriage Gets Messy (Healing after Infidelity)
You may not be in the middle of an affair, but we all have to deal with sin in our relationships. It's easy to turn to other sources of comfort and avoid having hard conversations with your spouse. As your resentment builds, your heart drifts. Thankfully, Jesus has...
#40: Bonus! What Do You Fear?
The COVID-19 pandemic is pushing all of our anxiety buttons; loss of loved ones, financial loss, being stuck inside...
#306: When You Can’t Wait Another Day
What do you do when you find yourself in a situation you don't like, didn't sign up for, and can't wait to be done with? (Social...
COVID-19 and Porn: A Quick Fix But No Solution
(Presione aquí para leer en español). Since COVID-19 the pornography industry has seen a massive increase in website traffic. On March 24th, one major site announced that their premium content would be free to all visitors resulting in a massive increase of 18.5%. The...
Don’t Waste the Pain
Practically every conversation I’ve had in the last week has contained a phrase like, “These are strange times.” Strange times, indeed. Never in our lives have we walked through so much uncertainty. Our health, careers, and security all seem to be dangling on a...
#304: Stop Caring What Others Think
Are you constantly preoccupied with what others think about you? With how you look, how much money you make, or how many Instagram...
Stop Trying So Hard!
Several years ago, I met with a spiritual mentor with whom I shared an ongoing battle with a particular sin. We had been meeting every month for over a year, yet I was still tempted by the same sin. I didn’t feel like I was making any spiritual progress! I asked her,...
#22: Intimacy, Sex & Aging
Intimacy with your spouse is important is all phases of life--even when you're celebrating your 50th wedding...
When Christians Disagree About Sex
When the Nashville statement was released, it brought conservative Christianity’s relationship with sexual issues front and center into the mainstream media. USA Today described the Nashville statement this way, “A coalition of conservative evangelical leaders laid...
Learning To Be a Promise-Breaker
Has anyone ever told you that it may be healthy to break your promises? No, I’m not talking about going back on your word or taking your wedding vows lightly. I’m referring to a different category of vows … the kind of promises that people rarely acknowledge. Our...
#293: Secrets to a Lasting Relationship
Dating has changed. A LOT. In the last decade, cohabitation, sex, and sexual experimentation have been touted as the best ways to...
A Hopeless New Year?
Turning my calendar to January 1 is usually refreshing for me. It represents a new year with a clean slate and excitement ahead. So why does ushering in 2020 feel so heavy and discouraging? There are many indications that our culture is quickly moving in a dangerous...
The World Has a Lot To Say About Sex
If you haven’t noticed, our views on sexuality have changed quite a bit over the past 20 years. Americans are far more accepting of behaviors they once considered to be sexually immoral. Cohabitation, having sex outside of marriage, no-fault divorce, viewing...
Webinar: The Season for a Savior
Perhaps the best way to remember Jesus this Christmas is to imagine where you would be without Him. In this month’s webinar, we’ll talk practically about managing the tensions of Christmas; from strife in your marriage to losing a loved one to facing...
#291: Will You Trade Your Comfort Food for The Comforter?
Are you a sugar addict? Do you run to the pantry each afternoon to get you through your day? Do you turn to Starbucks...
#290: True Friendship, or merely Friend-ish?
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul –and it’s better to have a friend nearby than a relative far away...
What’s the Purpose of Your Sexuality, Really?
(Presione aquí para leer en español). If someone asks you, “What are your thoughts on cohabitation?” or “Do you believe God is ok with gay marriage?” how would you respond? To answer those questions, you will (without even realizing it) tap into your underlying...
Why Promise Rings and Purity Talks Fall Short
True Love Waits. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Promise rings. These are the touchstones of predominant teaching on sexual purity promoted by the Christian community throughout the past several decades. Yet, the word purity among today’s Christian adults can elicit feelings...
#287: Does God Want Me to Have Good Self-Esteem?
How do I convince myself and everyone else that I’m worthy of being loved? That may not be what the question...
#286: How to Make Time to Make Love
Making time to make love is always going to take effort. There will always be an excuse to put it off for another season. Grab your...
Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 2
For the past decade, my full-time job has been to address sexual issues from a Christian perspective. Knowing that, you can imagine the kind of emails I regularly receive in my inbox! What I’ve learned is that sexuality represents pain in a lot of lives and marriages....
#55: When Marriage Won’t Get Better
What do you do when your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, but your spouse won't work on it, no matter...
Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 1
Most of us have been told that sex in marriage is important. But why does it matter? For many of us, sex may just be “meh” or tend to cause more division in our relationships than unity. The reality is that sexual issues are always among the top reasons for marital...
Escaping the Web of Pride
My dear friend Christine and I were recently talking over a cup of coffee about the battle of pride—how difficult it is to detect and how impossible to conquer. She told me a story that perfectly symbolized the problem: Juli, every morning I go out to my garden and...
#281: Growing Closer Through Conflict
There’s no such thing as instant intimacy. Love at first sight? Perhaps. But intimacy is something else entirely. It takes years to...
#280: When Submission Becomes Controlling
Sarah got married believing that absolute submission to her husband would glorify God; making Him, her and her man happy. Only, she...
Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder
We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a...
#278: Aging with Enthusiasm & Grace
Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. How can we be grateful, joyful, and love others well whatever season we're in? Today...
Shame Doesn’t Have the Final Word
Most women bask in the comment “You look so young!” but not Jeni. Why? Because she is young … too young to be the mom of a six-year-old girl. When Jeni goes to her daughter’s kindergarten class, she feels out of place with every other mom, many of whom are more than a...
Joshua Harris, Sexuality, and “Deconstructing” Christianity
Recently, the evangelical world has been rocked by the news of Joshua Harris’s decision to leave his marriage and Christian beliefs. Joshua is the bestselling author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and was a well-known spokesperson for the purity movement of the 1990s. A...
How to Have Tough Conversations
(Presione aquí para leer en español) If you listen to our podcast, Java with Juli, you know that I don’t like small talk. Ever since I was a little girl, I have been able to acutely sense unspoken tension in a room. I’m anxious when I have a conflict with a friend or...
#271: The Truth (and Lies) About Infertility
One in seven couples struggles with infertility --and it's easy to make some pretty hurtful assumptions about them...
#270: Winning the Battle in Your Mind
Sometimes the most difficult battles we face are the ones that rage within our own hearts and minds. In this episode, Juli gets...
#269: Loving Jesus in the Season You’re In
No matter what season of life you’re in, the object is the same: love Jesus and become more like Him. Are you single and wondering...
Where Do You Run When Marriage Gets Lonely?
It’s one thing to be lonely when you are single, wondering if and when God will ever bring the right guy. It’s another matter for your heart to ache with loneliness when the “right guy” is living in your home and sleeping in your bed. If this is your reality, please...
#266: Your Marriage, God’s Design
What do you want out of marriage? If you’re like most of us, you hope for love, companionship, passion and other good things that...
Beyond a Happy Marriage
Within the past month, I’ve been accused of two things that seem to be mutually exclusive. A few women have made comments like, “Why don’t you ever challenge the men? Why is it always the woman’s responsibility to build a healthy marriage?” And men have written me...
#265: The Hard (and Hopeful) Truth About Losing a Spouse
“God created our bodies to become one in marriage in a very physical and neurological way. When that is suddenly...
#264: You (Too) Can Help #MeToo
What can you do to make sure the voices of sexual abuse victims continue to be heard following the #MeToo movement? How...
#260: BONUS! Confused About Sexuality? We Understand
Why is there so much confusion in the Church about sex? If God's word is clear on this issue, why do so many great...
#11: When Work & Marriage Intersect
When you and your spouse have separate (but equally important) callings that pull you in different directions, who yields?...
#256: Who Is Jesus to You?
Every sexual question is a spiritual question. Every sexual opinion you hold comes from a foundation of who Jesus is to you. In the...
Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers
Have you ever wondered why God made you and your husband so different? For many years, I thought that might be my first question to God when I got to heaven. The differences between me and my husband, particularly in the bedroom, were driving us both crazy. Sexual...
#253: Making the Gospel Beautiful Through Relationships
How do we foster relationships that show the world that the Gospel is not just beautiful, it's also...
#252: Finding Your Voice
Sexual abuse. Fame. Infidelity and divorce. Five-time Grammy award winner Sandi Patty has walked through them all. How has she come...
#251: Praying with Honesty and Abandon
Do you pray about your sex life? About that friend you're hoping will become more than a friend? Some of us...
When Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused
The headlines are filled with horrific accounts of childhood sexual abuse. Behind every headline are children and their parents, families grasping for help and hope through devastating news. We have received many emails from parents who recently discovered that their...
#161: Beyond Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice
Take the politics out of conversations about abortion. You don't have to choose between valuing the rights of a...
#249: Overcoming Differences With Your Spouse
Opposites attract... for a little while. Then those cute, quirky things that attracted you to your spouse early on...
#248: Gay Girl, Good God: Jackie’s Story
"If you ask him to, God will make you straight." Have you ever said this to a loved one who is struggling...
#246: Lies You Believe About Sex
"I'm not loved if I'm not desired." "I don't deserve a great sex life." "God...
#245: The Link Between Your Bedroom & Your Bank Account
Have you ever hidden a receipt from your spouse? Join Juli and her guests to find out why holding grudges or...