I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other people who feel similar discouragement...
A transcript of Java with Juli #558, where Dr. Juli Slattery shared a discussion with guest Dr. Doug Rosenau.
Should a couple who experienced infidelity give up on sex? Or is there a way to approach sex that feels safe and honest for both parties?
How do you know if your spouse is repentant after a betrayal?
How do you learn to trust again when your spouse has had an affair?
Is there hope for you in your struggle with porn?
We're happy to welcome Francie Winslow back to the blog. You can learn more from Francie at her website. I was cuddled up with my youngest son on the couch when the well-known cartoon “Blues Clues” popped up on the screen. Along with flashy colors came a classic tune,...
A transcript of Java with Juli #559, where Dr. Juli Slattery shared a discussion with guest Dr. Corey Allan.
“We have to be actively engaged in running the relationships that we have.” – John Van Epp
Is it ever a good idea to take a break from having sex with your spouse? Juli explains why the answer might be yes.
Why do we experience shame? Are there ever times when it can be a helpful feeling? Juli shares what to do when we experience shame, and how God’s word brings us hope for the future.
Is it possible to love your LGBTQ friends without compromising biblical truth?
"Open" is the default setting of our hearts. When our hearts are closed, we lack perspective. We're more likely to make poor...
What do you do when you want to give up on your marriage? Greg & Erin Smalley share their story—and remind us that we can ask...
In part two of this conversation, you'll hear about the other two legs of the "sexual desire triangle" and go from getting your body...
Several years ago, I shared with a friend the vision of Authentic Intimacy. My friend listened patiently and then shared her honest opinion, “Why is it important to help people have better sex lives? Shouldn’t we be spending our time feeding the poor and sharing the...
Unlike most men (who always seem to be in the mood, always climax, and never experience pain), sexual pleasure can be a mystery to...
We need to be asking some hard questions. In the wake of the SBC investigation, along with the growing tsunami of fallen pastors,...
Sometimes I joke about things I am "addicted" to. Coffee and dark chocolate are definitely on the list. Honestly, we are all addicted to something—there are things in life we just can't seem to get by without. You may be addicted to your husband's affection, a daily...
Is it wrong to live together before marriage? Does gender really matter? Is it wrong to support gay marriage? These are the types of questions that we often get asked at Authentic Intimacy. Perhaps more than ever, many Christians are confused about right and wrong....
Because my job is to talk to women about sex, there are few questions I haven't heard and haven't answered. However, there is one common question that I don't like to answer. Is it ok to masturbate? (Presione aquí para leer en español.) This question is a bit...
A transcript of Java with Juli #557, where Dr. Juli Slattery is joined by guest Dr. Camden Morgante.
A transcript of Java with Juli #554, where Dr. Juli Slattery is joined by guest Francie Winslow.
A transcript of Java with Juli #553, a conversation between Dr. Juli Slattery and Dr. Greg Smalley on divorce and separation.
A transcript of Java with Juli #551, a conversation between Dr. Juli Slattery and Jason VanRuler, a licensed therapist, author, and speaker.
A transcript of Java with Juli #550, a conversation between Dr. Juli Slattery and trauma-informed pelvic health practitioner Jess Seitz.
A transcript of Java with Juli #549, a conversation between Dr. Juli Slattery and Nick Stumbo of Pure Desire Ministries.
After a betrayal, how can you know if your spouse is truly repentant? Juli unpacks a recent conversation with Jeremy Smith, LPC, as he shares what to look for.
What do you do when you discover your spouse watches porn?
How do you overcome any shame you’ve experienced from purity culture?
Is sex necessary for intimacy?
What do you do if you’re no longer attracted to your spouse?
If you don’t enjoy sex, should you just fake it?
What is the difference between sexual integrity and purity?
“What do I do with my sexual desire?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do...
What’s okay to do sexually in marriage?
Are you ready to fight your way to a better marriage? Conflict presents an incredible opportunity for couples. When done well, it...
Is the way you approach dating actually sabotaging your chances for a healthy marriage? From “just coffee” to...
A transcript of Java with Juli #563, where James Talbert, Josh Miller, and Chelsey Nugteren, shared on a panel at Reclaim 2024.
Are some sins less forgivable than others?
A transcript of Java with Juli #555, where Dr. Juli Slattery is joined by co-host Hannah Nitz.
“The whole biblical message from Genesis to Revelation can be summarized with five words: God wants to marry us.” – Christopher West
Why is it we’re more comfortable having sex than we are talking about it?
How can you prepare for wedding night sex if you’ve never had it before? We explore 3 ideas to help you get ready for first-time sex.
What is the Church’s responsibility in addressing sexual abuse and what steps should we take to prevent it?
How does sexual abuse impact the way we view ourselves? A sexual abuse survivor shares her journey towards healing.
What does it mean to be “in Christ,” and how does this lead to healing and freedom?
Are you as ready as you think you are for marriage?
Is it possible to love your LGBTQ friends without compromising biblical truth?
Is It OK to call a transgender friend by their preferred pronouns?
What if one of the most important things about church is not what happens at meetings but what happens between them?
Is it your responsibility to meet your spouse’s sexual needs?
What do you do if your spouse never seems satisfied with the sex you’re having?
How do you steward your sexuality as a single person?
Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body. Sex,...
As Roy and Stacy listened to their pastor teach on I Corinthians 7, they began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. “Paul is saying here that a wife is to meet her husband’s sexual needs. If she doesn’t, he may be tempted to seek sex outside of their relationship.”...
My guest on the blog is Amy Davison, co-author of Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality.* She's going to clear up two obstacles that keep parents from teaching their kids a biblical worldview of sexuality. Discipleship is not a word you hear that often outside of...
(Presione aquí para leer en español.) Whenever I speak to a group of people about sexuality, I try to include time for an anonymous Q&A session. No matter who is listening, young or old, male or female, married or single, I am sure to be asked...
Dear Juli, I’m the mom of two teenage girls. I know I need to talk to them about sex but honestly, I don’t know where to begin. My sex life is a mess. My husband and I have relied on porn in our marriage for years. I have abuse in my past that I’ve never dealt with. I...
If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applies to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom. A healthy sex life has aspects of...
Desde el inicio de COVID-19, la industria de la pornografía ha experimentado un aumento masivo en el tráfico de sitios web. El 24 de marzo, un sitio importante anunció que su contenido premium sería gratuito para todos los visitantes, lo que resultó en un aumento...
Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my...
(Presione aquí para leer en español) All your own efforts and gumption, your prayers and advice-seeking, your reading and research—you've tried it all, and still your struggle persists. You've reached it: the point at which you know you need help. You need a...
When women ask their honest questions about sexuality, the most common ones typically relate to whether certain things are right or wrong for Christian women to engage in. They want to know where the boundaries lie. (Presione aquí para leer en español). Is...
A transcript of Java with Juli #561, where Dr. Juli Slattery was on a panel with Gary Thomas, Debra Fileta, and Belah Rose.
A transcript of Java with Juli #560, where Dr. Juli Slattery shared a discussion with guest Evan Wickham.
A transcript of Java with Juli #556, where Dr. Juli Slattery is joined by author and ministry leader Rick Lawrence.
A transcript of Java with Juli #552, a conversation between Dr. Juli Slattery and Sheri Mueller, LCPC, and author of “I Want Him to Want Me”.
Pelvic Health Physical Therapist Heather Marra joins the blog to deepen your knowledge about female sexuality and menopause.
Four ways churches can be strengthened and equipped to develop a healthy approach to combating pornography use.
We can’t always be with our kids, so how can we be proactive in keeping them safe?
Cultural ideals around sex and sexuality have shifted over the last 100 years, but does this mean God’s design for sex has shifted as well?
Juli expands on a popular episode with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn all about how couples can bridge the sexual desire gap.
What do you think is the most important element when it comes to marriage?
What does it look like to love God and love an adult child who has a very different sexual ethic?
Few topics in today’s world are more divisive in the Christian Church than sexuality.
Scripture reveals that the way we think shapes our actions, but have you given thought to what and how you think about our sexuality?
Are husbands always the higher desire partners?
Q: Is there one person I'm meant to marry, or should I just choose a good man? A: This question isn't simply a contemplative exercise; it impacts how you approach dating and marriage. However, I think it is the wrong question to be asking. The question of "Is there...
One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...
“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...
Do you want to know the question that keeps me up at night? It’s this: How can I honor God with my sexuality in the face of my sexual brokenness and unmet desires? At Authentic Intimacy, we often use words like sexual wholeness or sexual integrity instead of sexual...
Several months ago, a friend invited me to coffee. After catching up on kids and ministry, I noticed her countenance shift. She obviously was struggling to share something difficult with me. After a few deep breaths, my friend explained how several years ago I had...
Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...
I’ve heard a lot of people comment that life right now feels like the movie “Groundhog Day”—the same thing over and over again with no end in sight. While there are blessings in having our lives slow down, there are also tensions and frustrations that overflow out of...
The sad truth is that the damage of porn goes far beyond the person consuming it and also affects their relationships, the people in their lives, and culture as a whole.
Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. When my husband and I...
(Presione aquí para leer en español). Since COVID-19 the pornography industry has seen a massive increase in website traffic. On March 24th, one major site announced that their premium content would be free to all visitors resulting in a massive increase of 18.5%. The...
Practically every conversation I’ve had in the last week has contained a phrase like, “These are strange times.” Strange times, indeed. Never in our lives have we walked through so much uncertainty. Our health, careers, and security all seem to be dangling on a...
Several years ago, I met with a spiritual mentor with whom I shared an ongoing battle with a particular sin. We had been meeting every month for over a year, yet I was still tempted by the same sin. I didn’t feel like I was making any spiritual progress! I asked her,...
When the Nashville statement was released, it brought conservative Christianity’s relationship with sexual issues front and center into the mainstream media. USA Today described the Nashville statement this way, “A coalition of conservative evangelical leaders laid...
Has anyone ever told you that it may be healthy to break your promises? No, I’m not talking about going back on your word or taking your wedding vows lightly. I’m referring to a different category of vows … the kind of promises that people rarely acknowledge. Our...
Turning my calendar to January 1 is usually refreshing for me. It represents a new year with a clean slate and excitement ahead. So why does ushering in 2020 feel so heavy and discouraging? There are many indications that our culture is quickly moving in a dangerous...
If you haven’t noticed, our views on sexuality have changed quite a bit over the past 20 years. Americans are far more accepting of behaviors they once considered to be sexually immoral. Cohabitation, having sex outside of marriage, no-fault divorce, viewing...
(Presione aquí para leer en español). If someone asks you, “What are your thoughts on cohabitation?” or “Do you believe God is ok with gay marriage?” how would you respond? To answer those questions, you will (without even realizing it) tap into your underlying...
True Love Waits. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Promise rings. These are the touchstones of predominant teaching on sexual purity promoted by the Christian community throughout the past several decades. Yet, the word purity among today’s Christian adults can elicit feelings...
For the past decade, my full-time job has been to address sexual issues from a Christian perspective. Knowing that, you can imagine the kind of emails I regularly receive in my inbox! What I’ve learned is that sexuality represents pain in a lot of lives and marriages....
Most of us have been told that sex in marriage is important. But why does it matter? For many of us, sex may just be “meh” or tend to cause more division in our relationships than unity. The reality is that sexual issues are always among the top reasons for marital...
My dear friend Christine and I were recently talking over a cup of coffee about the battle of pride—how difficult it is to detect and how impossible to conquer. She told me a story that perfectly symbolized the problem: Juli, every morning I go out to my garden and...
We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a...