Cultural ideals around sex and sexuality have shifted over the last 100 years, but does this mean God’s design for sex has shifted as well?
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How To Get Past Shame From Sexual Sins
Why do we experience shame? Are there ever times when it can be a helpful feeling? Juli shares what to do when we experience shame, and how God’s word brings us hope for the future.
How To Tell if Your Spouse Is Truly Repentant
After a betrayal, how can you know if your spouse is truly repentant? Juli unpacks a recent conversation with Jeremy Smith, LPC, as he shares what to look for.
How To Rebuild Intimacy After Infidelity
Should a couple who experienced infidelity give up on sex? Or is there a way to approach sex that feels safe and honest for both parties?
What You Need To Know About Sex Before Your Wedding Night
How can you prepare for wedding night sex if you’ve never had it before? We explore 3 ideas to help you get ready for first-time sex.
Is Forgiveness Necessary for Healing?
Is there a connection between healing and the unforgiveness that so often fills our hearts?
Your Kids Need Foundational Biblical Beliefs, Not Just Teaching About Sex
Dr. Kathy Koch explains why foundational biblical beliefs are such a critical element of teaching your kids about sex.
Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage
There are many Christians who feel uncomfortable with their sexuality. Juli explores possible reasons why and advises on how to overcome it.
How We Become Angry People
As Christians, what is our anger supposed to look like? Juli shares some helpful ways to navigate anger and still glorify God.
5 Things Christians Can Do to Help Overcome Porn Addiction
Dr. Joy Skarka, Authentic Intimacy Program Manager, explains what Christians struggling with porn can do to overcome it.
How To Fight For Integrity In A Hyper-Sexualized World
Juli suggests some steps Christians can take as they pursue Godly living and surrendered sexuality in our hypersexualized world.
Sexual Abuse: How the Church Should Respond
What is the Church’s responsibility in addressing sexual abuse and what steps should we take to prevent it?
I Was Sexually Abused. Now, God Is Restoring My Identity
How does sexual abuse impact the way we view ourselves? A sexual abuse survivor shares her journey towards healing.
How to Bridge the Gap in Mismatched Libidos in Marriage
Juli expands on a popular episode with Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn all about how couples can bridge the sexual desire gap.
For a Better Marriage, Try This
What do you think is the most important element when it comes to marriage?
Overcoming Addiction: The Crucial Element You Might Be Missing
What does it mean to be “in Christ,” and how does this lead to healing and freedom?
When Your Adult Child Makes Sexual Choices You Disagree With
What does it look like to love God and love an adult child who has a very different sexual ethic?
How can you Know if You’re Ready for Marriage?
Are you as ready as you think you are for marriage?
Should I Go to a Gay Wedding?
Few topics in today’s world are more divisive in the Christian Church than sexuality.
Sexual Entitlement: What it is and Why it is Ruining Your Marriage
Yes, God created sex for marriage, but did He promise it to us?
3 Reasons Why “Faking It” is Making Your Bad Sex Life Even Worse
While faking climax or sexual enjoyment may seem like a solution when you don’t like sex, it’s not a healthy long-term strategy. Here’s why.
How To Heal And Grow: Four Surprising Pathways To Christ-Likeness
What would it look like to pursue freedom, healing and spiritual growth while embracing the way God designed you?
Q&A: Can Sexual Sin be Forgiven?
Are some sins less forgivable than others?
God Says Sex is For Marriage – Here’s Why
More and more Christians having sex outside of marriage, but is this in line with what God’s word says?
Q&A: How Do I Love My LGBTQ Friends Without Compromising Biblical Truth? (Part 2)
Is it possible to love your LGBTQ friends without compromising biblical truth?
Purity Culture Failed Men Too
A male perspective on some of the negative fallout of purity culture.
Q&A: What Does God Say About Divorce?
What does God say about divorce? Juli unpacks this layered topic.
Why Sexual Maturity Matters More Than Sexual Experience
What if the key to understanding sexual matters begins with knowing God’s word, trusting Him, and growing in self-control?
Q&A: Is It OK to Call a Transgender Friend by Their Preferred Pronouns?
Is It OK to call a transgender friend by their preferred pronouns?
How The American Church Reinforces Isolation and Why That Needs to Change
What if one of the most important things about church is not what happens at meetings but what happens between them?
Q&A: Are Sexual Sin and Sexual Brokenness the Same Thing?
Are Sexual Sin and Sexual Brokenness the Same Thing?
3 Subconscious Beliefs You May Hold About Living With Same-Sex Attraction
Scripture reveals that the way we think shapes our actions, but have you given thought to what and how you think about our sexuality?
Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?
How do you know if your spouse is repentant after a betrayal?
5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband’s Porn Problem
Juli challenges wives to reject blame and consider biblical teaching on responding to the painful sins of those we love.
Q&A: How Often Is ‘Normal’ for Having Sex Within Marriage?
How can you know if you’re having sex enough in marriage?
4 Lies the Movies Told Us About Sex and The Truths You Need to Know
Have you learned and adopted more beliefs about sex from the movies than you realize?
Q&A: What Is the Purpose of My Sexuality as a Single?
Is there still a purpose for your sexuality if you’re a single person?
Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity
While we do need to reject the legalism of purity culture, Juli explains that boundaries still help us embrace godliness with our sexuality.
Q&A: How Can I Love Someone Who Is Struggling with Sexual Sin and Brokenness?
How do you love someone struggling with sexual sin and brokenness?
If I’m Free, Why Can’t I Do What I Want? And Other Ways We Misunderstand Freedom
There are significant differences between the way the Bible and the world talk about freedom, so what does it really mean to live freely?
Q&A: Is Masturbation a Sin?
Is masturbation a sin?
Q&A: Is It Possible For The Woman to Be The Higher Drive Partner?
Are husbands always the higher desire partners?
Help! I Know I Need to Talk to My Teenager About Sex, but How Do I Do It?
Want to share the good news about God’s design for sexuality with your teen? Start with creating a strong relational connection.
Q&A: Is God Okay With Me Having Sex With Someone I Love Even If We Are Not Married?
What God think about sex outside of marriage?
I Love Being Bitter: How We Grow Bitter and 3 Ways to Overcome
The Bible warns against bitterness, but how do we prevent bitterness from growing in our hearts? Hannah Nitz shares her heart on the blog.
Q&A: Is It My Responsibility to Meet My Spouse’s Sexual Needs?
Is it your responsibility to meet your spouse’s sexual needs?
Q&A: Past Sexual Trauma Inhibits My Ability to Enjoy Sex. Is There Hope That I Can Ever Heal?
When trauma is in your past, is sexual enjoyment possible?
Contentment: How to Live Joyfully Through the Ups and Downs of Life
If everything in your life were to remain exactly the way it is in this current moment, do you think you could still be truly, deeply happy? As a single woman, this was something I was used to asking myself. After all, marriage was not a certainty. What surprised me...
Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Looking at Porn?
What do you do when you discover your spouse watches porn?
Sexual Integrity: The Heart of Sexually Discipling Your Kids
Today’s Christian parents often feel torn between the cultural messages of sex positivity and traditional church teachings about saving sex for marriage, both of which seem fraught with potential challenges and pitfalls. While cultural messages are at odds with God’s...
5 Reasons You’re Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and How to Overcome Them)
Over the past decade, I have physically stood in front of more than 100,000 people to teach on sexuality. It is literally my job to talk about sex. But here’s a little secret. The most difficult conversations I have had about sex have been with my own children. It has...
Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How
My husband had just returned home with our youngest son after a weekend away for the sex talk. Christian, eleven at the time, sheepishly told me, “Mom, I feel like I’m too young to know all these things about sex.” I reassured him, “I know how you feel, but Dad and I...
Q&A: How Do I Learn to Trust My Spouse Again After an Affair?
How do you learn to trust again when your spouse has had an affair?
Q&A: How Can I Overcome the Shame I Experienced as a Result of Purity Culture?
How do you overcome any shame you’ve experienced from purity culture?
Q&A: Is Sex Necessary For Intimacy?
Is sex necessary for intimacy?
Does God Want Me to Love Myself?
This is potentially the most controversial blog I have ever written. As I’ve often stated, the Bible isn’t primarily offensive because of what it says about our sexuality. It is offensive because of what it says about our humanity. You may disagree with what you are...
Q&A: We Have Sex Regularly, but My Husband Never Seems Satisfied. What Do I Do?
What do you do if your spouse never seems satisfied with the sex you’re having?
Q&A: What If I’m Not Attracted to My Spouse Anymore?
What do you do if you’re no longer attracted to your spouse?
Q&A: Is There Any Hope for Me in My Struggle with Porn?
Is there hope for you in your struggle with porn?
Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!
My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it. My wife and I got married about...
Q&A: Sex Has Never Been Pleasurable in Our Marriage. Should I Just Fake It?
If you don’t enjoy sex, should you just fake it?
Why We Don’t Experience Victory
I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other people who feel similar discouragement...
Q&A: How Do I Love My LGBTQ Friends Without Compromising Biblical Truth?
Is it possible to love your LGBTQ friends without compromising biblical truth?
Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples?
It isn’t uncommon for us to receive questions from married couples asking about a normal frequency for sex. Should they have sex once a week, twice a week, or every day?! We understand that it can be challenging for two people with different levels of desire for sex...
Q&A: What Is the Difference Between Sexual Integrity and Purity?
What is the difference between sexual integrity and purity?
What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires?
“What do I do with my sexual desire?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do...
Q&A: Is Sending Nudes and Homemade Porn Okay if We’re Married?
What’s okay to do sexually in marriage?
What Defines an Intimate Relationship?
A few years ago, I was speaking at a college campus about God’s design for sexuality. During a break, a young woman approached me with a question, “You said that God created me for intimacy. Isn’t intimacy the same thing as having sex?” (Presione aquí para leer en...
Q&A: How Can I Steward My Sexuality as a Single?
How do you steward your sexuality as a single person?
Q&A: Where Do I Begin Healing?
Where do you start in your healing journey?
How Do I Know He’s “The One”?
Q: Is there one person I'm meant to marry, or should I just choose a good man? A: This question isn't simply a contemplative exercise; it impacts how you approach dating and marriage. However, I think it is the wrong question to be asking. The question of "Is there...
#156: How To Keep Your Heart Open When You Don’t Feel Emotionally Safe
"Open" is the default setting of our hearts. When our hearts are closed, we lack perspective. We're more likely to make poor...
#155: How To Fight With Your Spouse
Are you ready to fight your way to a better marriage? Conflict presents an incredible opportunity for couples. When done well, it...
#430: Marriage Can Be Hard, Here’s Why the Work Is Worth It
What do you do when you want to give up on your marriage? Greg & Erin Smalley share their story—and remind us that we can ask...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready, Part 3
One very practical and creative way to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage is to put thought and intention into the physical space of your bedroom. Whether or not you are aware of it, the environment of your bedroom impacts your sexual intimacy. Here is a quick...
#429: How To Find Love When Dating Has Changed with Jonathan Pokluda
Is the way you approach dating actually sabotaging your chances for a healthy marriage? From “just coffee” to...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2
Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body. Sex,...
Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready, Part 1
“Your most important sex organ is your brain.” I remember when I first heard this statement as a young married woman. Enjoying sex is practically impossible without thinking about it. Both men and women can struggle to know how to think about sex in a way that is...
#263: Experiencing Sexual Pleasure, Part 2
In part two of this conversation, you'll hear about the other two legs of the "sexual desire triangle" and go from getting your body...
A Road Map to Sexual Integrity in the Midst of Sexual Brokenness
Do you want to know the question that keeps me up at night? It’s this: How can I honor God with my sexuality in the face of my sexual brokenness and unmet desires? At Authentic Intimacy, we often use words like sexual wholeness or sexual integrity instead of sexual...
#262: Experiencing Sexual Pleasure, Part 1
Unlike most men (who always seem to be in the mood, always climax, and never experience pain), sexual pleasure can be a mystery to...
#423: How to “Rethink” Issues in Our Church Culture Around Sexuality & Abuse
We need to be asking some hard questions. In the wake of the SBC investigation, along with the growing tsunami of fallen pastors,...
Are You a Good Friend? 7 Keys to Building Healthy Friendship
Several months ago, a friend invited me to coffee. After catching up on kids and ministry, I noticed her countenance shift. She obviously was struggling to share something difficult with me. After a few deep breaths, my friend explained how several years ago I had...
How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy
As Roy and Stacy listened to their pastor teach on I Corinthians 7, they began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. “Paul is saying here that a wife is to meet her husband’s sexual needs. If she doesn’t, he may be tempted to seek sex outside of their relationship.”...
How To Help Little Ones Celebrate How God Made Their Bodies
We're happy to welcome Francie Winslow back to the blog. You can learn more from Francie at her website. I was cuddled up with my youngest son on the couch when the well-known cartoon “Blues Clues” popped up on the screen. Along with flashy colors came a classic tune,...
What To Wear in the Bedroom?
Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day. Even though I sometimes...
What God Wants For Christmas
True confession: the Christmas season overwhelms me. It’s not the busyness, the music, or the parties, but the gift-giving that stresses me out. Gifts are not my love language, so I never know how to answer my husband when he asks what I’d like for Christmas. What...
What Kind of Lover Are You?
As women, we typically view sex as a way of expressing the love and intimacy we feel in our hearts. It’s definitely a challenge to be sexually intimate when those feelings of love are absent. For the first decade of our marriage, it irritated me when my husband wanted...
What Submission Isn’t
*The two-part blog series we’re kicking off this week is a sneak peak into what Dr. Juli Slattery has been working on ... a complete rewrite of her book Finding the Hero in Your Husband. Stay tuned for updates on when it will be released in 2021!* In my...
Parenting Through Weakness
Dear Juli, I’m the mom of two teenage girls. I know I need to talk to them about sex but honestly, I don’t know where to begin. My sex life is a mess. My husband and I have relied on porn in our marriage for years. I have abuse in my past that I’ve never dealt with. I...
Taming the Tongue on Groundhog Day
I’ve heard a lot of people comment that life right now feels like the movie “Groundhog Day”—the same thing over and over again with no end in sight. While there are blessings in having our lives slow down, there are also tensions and frustrations that overflow out of...
Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life
If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applies to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom. A healthy sex life has aspects of...
Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It
The sad truth is that the damage of porn goes far beyond the person consuming it and also affects their relationships, the people in their lives, and culture as a whole.
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. When my husband and I...
COVID-19 and Porn: A Quick Fix But No Solution
(Presione aquí para leer en español). Since COVID-19 the pornography industry has seen a massive increase in website traffic. On March 24th, one major site announced that their premium content would be free to all visitors resulting in a massive increase of 18.5%. The...
COVID-19 y pornografía: Una salida rápida, pero no una solución
Desde el inicio de COVID-19, la industria de la pornografía ha experimentado un aumento masivo en el tráfico de sitios web. El 24 de marzo, un sitio importante anunció que su contenido premium sería gratuito para todos los visitantes, lo que resultó en un aumento...
Don’t Waste the Pain
Practically every conversation I’ve had in the last week has contained a phrase like, “These are strange times.” Strange times, indeed. Never in our lives have we walked through so much uncertainty. Our health, careers, and security all seem to be dangling on a...
Did He Pass the Test?
This morning, I met with a group of friends to encourage each other in our marriages. As we talked, one of the women described her discouragement when her husband failed to text her during the day about something that was important to her. “He knew my sister was going...
Stop Trying So Hard!
Several years ago, I met with a spiritual mentor with whom I shared an ongoing battle with a particular sin. We had been meeting every month for over a year, yet I was still tempted by the same sin. I didn’t feel like I was making any spiritual progress! I asked her,...
When Christians Disagree About Sex
When the Nashville statement was released, it brought conservative Christianity’s relationship with sexual issues front and center into the mainstream media. USA Today described the Nashville statement this way, “A coalition of conservative evangelical leaders laid...