3 cosas que aprendí (y desearía no haberlo hecho) de la pornografía

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Cuando estaba en quinto grado, mi amiga abrió mi laptop y me introdujo al mundo de la pornografía. En ese tiempo, yo no sabía que era la pornografía, pero lo que sí supe fue que era algo nuevo y emocionante. Pasarían años antes de que volviera a descubrir la pornografía.

En la universidad, después de haber sido violada en una cita (esta fue la mi primera vez que tuve una relación sexual), me surgieron muchas preguntas acerca del sexo. Y mi curiosidad me llevó a mi fiel amigo Google.  A medida que empecé a escribir mis preguntas sobre sexo, sentía cada vez más intriga. “Con que esto es el sexo.” De verdad llegué a creerlo… 

La pornografía se convirtió en mi educación sexual. Me enseñó que el sexo nunca es problemático, que las mujeres tienen que verse de cierta forma para ser amadas, y que la manipulación está bien. Pero, ni el sexo que experimenté en la violación, ni el sexo que estaba viendo en la pantalla, representaban bien el propósito ni el diseño de Dios para el sexo.

Si los cristianos no logran crear un espacio seguro para que los adultos jóvenes hagan preguntas acerca del sexo, lo más probable es que acudan a la pornografía en internet.

Según un estudio reciente, 25 porciento de los adultos entre 18-24 años en los Estados Unidos dice que la pornografía es su fuente más útil acerca de cómo tener sexo.1 Seguramente este es un porcentaje subestimado debido a la vergüenza que está asociada con el uso de pornografía. Cuando los jóvenes acuden a la pornografía para responder sus preguntas sobre educación sexual, ya sean solteros o estén casados, empiezan a creer que el sexo que experimentan en la vida real va a ser como el que ven en la pornografía. En la encuesta, la pornografía fue la fuente de educación sexual más identificada. Tuvo un puntaje más alto que la familia, otra persona importante, o que cualquier otro medio.

El estudio, llevado a cabo por un grupo no cristiano, llegó a conclusiones impactantes. Ellos explican, “Las malas noticias son que existe un malentendido entre los adultos jóvenes acerca del porqué existe la pornografía. La mayoría de la pornografía gratis existe como forma de entretenimiento y para generarle dinero a los creadores. No existe para enseñarte lo que debes hacer cuando tengas sexo.” ¡Incluso el mundo secular entiende que la pornografía no debería ser nuestra fuente de educación!

Aquí comparto tres cosas que desearía no haber aprendido de la pornografía:

La pornografía me enseñó que el sexo es egocéntrico.

En la pornografía, el enfoque está en cómo obtener el mayor nivel de placer personal. Ya sea a través de la masturbación o al alcanzar un orgasmo rápidamente, el enfoque nunca está en servir a la otra persona. En el diseño de Dios para la sexualidad, el sexo es mutuo (y mucho mejor) cuando te enfocas en satisfacer a tu cónyuge. 

En 1 Corintios 7:3-4, Pablo habla acerca de entregarle tu cuerpo a tu cónyuge en el lecho matrimonial. Él dijo, “El esposo debe satisfacer las necesidades sexuales de su esposa, y la esposa debe satisfacer las necesidades sexuales de su marido. 4 La esposa le da la autoridad sobre su cuerpo a su marido, y el esposo le da la autoridad sobre su cuerpo a su esposa.” Esto no quiere decir que tienes que entregarle tu cuerpo a tu cónyuge cuando él quiera, sino que nuestros cuerpos son regalos que nos damos el uno al otro en el matrimonio. (Para aprender más acerca de esta idea, lee ¿Tienes derecho al (buen) sexo en el matrimonio?)

Amar y servir a tu cónyuge (por encima de tus propios deseos) en la cama es una forma en la que puedes demostrar tu pacto matrimonial a través de la intimidad sexual.

La pornografía me enseñó que el sexo siempre sería increíble.

El sexo que se muestra en una pantalla no es nada como el sexo en la vida real. Tristemente, cuando los adultos jóvenes ven pornografía como su educación sexual, van a sentirse defraudados cuando el sexo como casados no siempre lleve a orgasmos explosivos. El sexo real requiere comunicación con tu pareja a medida que ambos aprenden cómo satisfacerse el uno al otro y se le da tiempo a la excitación. 

Ver pornografía entrena tu cuerpo para que al final no pueda responder al tacto de tu cónyuge y puede llegar a ser dañino a la hora de disfrutar el sexo en el matrimonio.  

La pornografía me enseñó que es normal que el sexo se sienta/sea abusivo.

Covenant Eyes, un software que funciona como un filtro en línea, reporta que 88% de las escenas en películas pornográficas contienen agresión física, y 49% de las escenas contienen agresión verbal. Cuando los adultos jóvenes ven abuso en la pornografía, son más propensos a pensar que la agresión es algo normal y luego en la vida real imitan lo que vieron.

Algunas veces las parejas dicen que ven pornografía juntos para aprender cómo hacer las cosas “más interesantes.” De hecho, la pornografía y erótica hacen totalmente lo contrario. Puede que hagan las cosas “mas interesantes” al comienzo, pero eventualmente corroen y debilitan la confianza y la comunicación necesaria para la intimidad sexual y una vida sexual amorosa. (¿Quieres aprender acerca de algunas formas de hacer tu vida amorosa más interesante?)

Los hombres y mujeres que producen pornografía también son impactados de forma negativa. Los actores a menudo no están sobrios y han consumido alcohol o drogas y de hecho algunos de ellos son víctimas de explotación sexual.  Covenant Eyes reporta que 79% de quienes actúan han consumido marihuana, y 50% han consumido éxtasis. Es normal que las mujeres estén drogadas o borrachas al actuar, y que sufran de desórdenes alimenticios.

Hablemos al respecto

Como cristianos, debemos dejar de permitir que la vergüenza sea un impedimento para buscar ayuda. Necesitamos crear espacios seguros para hombres y mujeres, solteros o casados, en los que puedan hacer preguntas acerca del sexo. Debemos ser un lugar en donde (especialmente) las mujeres puedan confesar el hecho de luchas con la pornografía, y en donde puedan encontrar ayuda, sanidad, y ánimo. Para poder ayudarle a los hombres y mujeres a reclamar y volver a apropiarse de su sexualidad, necesitamos empezar a hablar acerca del diseño principal de Dios. La pornografía es una terrible maestra, pero la Palabra de Dios tiene respuestas para todas las preguntas —incluso aquellas acerca de tu vida sexual. Y su Palabra trae libertad, sanidad y propósito para nuestra sexualidad.

 

 


1 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-020-01877-7

Photo by Caleb George on Unsplash

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