by Authentic Intimacy®


#295: We All "Desconstruct," It's Reconstructing that Matters

Questions about sexuality, sexual abuse, and gender have sent a new wave of “deconstructing” throughout the Christian community—people turning from their faith because God hasn’t turned out to be who they thought He was. When a loved one struggles, we tend to get nervous and try to talk them out of their doubts or choices. Join us for a conversation about why it's okay—and even good—for us to wrestle with our faith and ask God hard questions.

Guests: Hannah Nitz & Tricia Lott Williford



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  • Sam Spear

    Sam Spear

    One aspect of this podcast that I found puzzling was the conflation of two - from my perspective - very different sorts of deconstruction. Mention was made both of wrestling with what we find to be true about God in the Scriptures and how that challenges our understanding and experiences. Mention was also made of wrestling with our experiences and how they conflict with what the church (and the Scriptures) have taught about God. It may seem like a fine distinction, but in terms of authority, there is a wide gap. Are we being examined by the Word and caused to question our thinking, or are we examining the Word and weighing it according to our thinking? I would think we would want to treat these two sorts of deconstruction differently?
  • Allison  Smoak

    Allison Smoak

    Thank you so much for this (and all your other content!) that allows for people's questions. On the mission field I am often with people who find questions threatening and it is hard to maintain the perspective you shared of trusting God through the process. Do you have any resources (besides this episode, which I have already recommended to several people!) that would help either evangelicals rest more in others' questions?
  • Michelle D´Mejía

    Michelle D´Mejía

    I just loved the podcast!!! It is important ask questions to God, not leave him in anger. When Tricia said about making a relationship with Jesus instead of obeying I just remembered a text: I want your constant love, not your animal sacrifices. I would rather have my people know me than burn offerings to me. Hosea 6:6 GNT. God is more interested in the profound love relationship with him, than following rules or protocoles...And we church i guess sometimes love more the rules and protocoles than Jesus. And know God means knowing Him by experience, not in a theoretical way. If we have a deep, loving, intimate relationship with the Lord, obedience will be a fruit not a requisite nor a burden. I think people who leave God after having a process of deconstructing is mostly because they were living obeying instead of having a relationship with God. How important it is to teach the church to love instead of just accomplish "spiritual" goals. This way all uf us can be closer to God after deconstructing any doctrine!!!. God bless you, Julie and your team :)
  • Authentic Intimacy

    Authentic Intimacy

    Hi Allison ~ so glad this conversation was helpful! We don't know of a lot of other resources, but we have been pointing people to Ravi Zacharias International Ministries ( They are providing answers to difficult questions and probably have more on the topic of "deconstructing", but they might also have some resources that help you learn to be better as sitting with others in their tension too. Maybe also a good book on just listening to others would help? I'll have to look for that! ~ Jacci from AI
  • Authentic Intimacy

    Authentic Intimacy

    Michelle, thank you for your encouraging words!
  • Authentic Intimacy

    Authentic Intimacy

    Hi Sam, Thank you for making that distinction! You're right, we heard Tricia's story and how that caused her to question what she believed about God (which was wrong , as she mentioned she thought her life circumstances were a reward for her obedience). And Juli mentioned how some people have gone through this "deconstructing " process as a result of incorrect or incomplete teaching of the church. I know Juli would say that we need to start with God's word, what He says about Himself, and what He says about us. So in your words, I would say we want to "be examined by the Word and caused to question our thinking." Psalm 139:23-24 says (The Message) says: Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. Thank you for bringing this up! ~ Jacci from AI
  • Andrew Brassyhub

    Andrew Brassyhub

    I'm not tired of obedience. I'm tired of feeling undesired. I'm weary of praying for peace, and not finding it. Not being given what I feel I have a right to feel: peace. Death is easier to handle than the daily on-going trauma of being married to a lesbian. With death or divorce, time moves you away from the point of pain. Mine is there every day, never moving away into the past.
  • Authentic Intimacy

    Authentic Intimacy

    Andrew, praying that God will give you the peace you are asking for!




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