Q&A: I had an affair a while ago, do I still need to tell my husband?

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This week’s question comes from a reader:

"I had an affair awhile ago and have asked for forgiveness from the Lord. Do I still need to tell my husband in order to have authentic intimacy? Is telling him the only way to make the guilt go away?"


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  • John Fetz

    John Fetz

    Thank you Juli for taking this stand. I took a similar step a few years ago. Yes, the going has been rough, still is at times. And, I have no regret in finally coming into the light and stopping my hiding. I am hopeful of more and more restoration as we both continue our work of healing. Also, thank you for speaking the truth about this difficult question. I have heard many well meaning and authoritative people, including pastors, say not to tell. They are wrong. Not telling keeps some peace and blocks intimacy from ever occurring . There is no guarantee that authentic intimacy will occur but it is guaranteed that it won’t occur without moving out of hiding.