Q&A: Is God ok with me having sex with someone I love even if we are not married?
Full Transcript
A lot of people ask me a question like: hey, is it okay for me to be having sex with somebody that I love even though I’m not married to. And versions of that question might be we’re engaged or we’ve been dating a year.
And I think some of it is the misunderstanding that sex and lover meant to go together and in scripture. That’s not really what the Bible says. The Bible actually says that sex in the Covenant of marriage are meant to go together. And so hey this is maybe a news for you, but there are people within the Covenant of marriage you don’t feel in love anymore. But the fact is they still are Covenant together in a kind of love that God has given them that’s supposed to be within marriage. And so God has created sexual intimacy the physically fitting together of a man and a woman to be a physical symbol of the choice of Covenant the vow to spend your life with someone. Which is why it doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating somebody for 10 years or you’re madly in love with them having sex with them lacks Integrity. If you are a follower of Christ because Jesus never said that love and sex go together. He said that the Covenant of marriage and sex go together and that also is a call to the married Christian to be working on their Covenant Love. If you have a vow within the marriage covenant, you should be working on your sex life with one another because to have integrity means that Covenant and sex go together.
Now some of you might be saying then well, I’ve already blown it my boyfriend and I or my girlfriend and I have already had sex. So what’s the point of abstaining now? And this is really important to understand the distinction between the idea of Purity and integrity when we have a purity mindset. We think well, we’ve already crossed that boundary. It doesn’t matter anymore and we don’t work towards Holiness and righteousness, but the scripture actually calls us to have an Integrity mindset, which means every day we’re saying like David said the Lord, would you search my heart would you seek out any wicked way and then I want to confess that and I want to get right with you and so my encouragement to you is if you are in a relationship where you love someone walk with Integrity show your love for God by saying I want to Steward my sexuality in a way that is honoring to you regardless of what’s happened in the past and that might mean some changes in your relationship. But ultimately your commitment to God has to be primary and how you choose to Steward your sexuality.