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Did He Pass the Test?

This morning, I met with a group of friends to encourage each other in our marriages. As we talked, one of the women described her discouragement when her husband failed to text her during the day about something that was important to her. “He knew my sister was going into surgery. I just told him a few days ago that I was really worried about it. It hurts me that he didn’t think...

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Making Time for Making Love

After a long day of taking care of three little boys, cooking, cleaning, and juggling work responsibilities, I had reached the “finish line.” It was my time to rest. I ignored the subtle flirtations of my husband, Mike, hoping he would get the hint that I was not in the mood. As we were getting ready for bed, I changed into my pj’s and he caught a “glimpse” of fles...

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Shame Doesn't Have the Final Word

by Dr. Juli Slattery Most women bask in the comment “You look so young!” but not Jeni. Why? Because she is young … too young to be the mom of a six-year-old girl. When Jeni goes to her daughter’s kindergarten class, she feels out of place with every other mom, many of whom are more than a decade her senior. “I know that God has forgiven me for my sexual sin, bu...

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Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder

by Dr. Juli Slattery We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a key part of the Christian life, I think that extending grace is perhaps even more necessary in our...

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Should I Fake Orgasm?

Dr. Juli Slattery answers the question, "I've been married for 25 years, and frankly, sex has never been pleasurable. We have sex two-three times a week and I just bear it. Should I fake pleasure? How do I improve our sex life?"

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Loving a Broken Man (Or Woman)

Gary Thomas has been a guest on Java with Juli multiple times and also joined us for our March 2018 webinar "Having a Mission-Focused Marriage." He is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the study of Scripture, church history, and the Christian classics to foster spiritual growth and deeper relati...

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Pure Sadness and a Better Way Forward

I recently read a very sad book, Pure by Linda Kay Klein. This book keeps popping up in my newsfeed which tells me that people want to talk about it. The subtitle of the book hits precisely why this book caused my heart to ache: “Inside the evangelical movement that shamed a generation of young women and how I broke free.” Within the book, the author shares her journey of shame, ...

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3 Things Sex and Junk Food Have in Common

I recently read a book about sexual patterns among young adults called Premarital Sex in America by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker. Let’s just say that the news is not good. Americans are having sex younger and sooner in relationships, with more people and are ultimately experiencing less satisfaction in intimate relationships. As a psychologist, I can only imagine the emotional and spir...

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Help! My Husband Is The One With The Headache

Watch a movie or flip through some TV sitcoms and you will hear men always want sex. Men are portrayed as constantly turned on and trying to get their wives into bed while the women are typically shown rolling their eyes. Ask a group “What do men think about most often?” and their answer will no doubt be, “Sex!” When you step into the Christian culture, this stereotyp...

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Escaping the Web of Pride

by Dr. Juli Slattery My dear friend Christine and I were recently talking over a cup of coffee about the battle of pride—how difficult it is to detect and how impossible to conquer. She told me a story that perfectly symbolized the problem: Juli, every morning I go out to my garden and find spider webs all over my vegetables. Each day I brush them away, but sure enough, they are bac...

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