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3 Things Sex and Junk Food Have in Common

I recently read a book about sexual patterns among young adults called Premarital Sex in America by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker. Let’s just say that the news is not good. Americans are having sex younger and sooner in relationships, with more people and are ultimately experiencing less satisfaction in intimate relationships. As a psychologist, I can only imagine the emotional and spir...

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Why We Must Be Surprised by the Healer

This month I gave birth to my eighth book. Actually, it was a “co-labor” with my dear friend and mentor, Linda Dillow. When I use the word “labor,” I mean it. This book, Surprised by the Healer, was probably the most difficult that either of us has ever written. Healing . . . it’s a controversial topic. Does God still heal? Maybe you’ve felt the sting of s...

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Being Sexy Has Nothing to do With Your Body

When I talk to women about sex in marriage, one of the most common concerns is their bodies. “I’m just not sexy!” Practically every woman feels like she is either too old, too fat, too flat-chested, or too plain to be sexy. We live in a world that has definite opinions on what is attractive and sexy. Marketers spend millions of dollars and countless hours transforming natu...

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Is There Really a 7-Year Itch?

My husband and I are leading a Bible study with mostly newlywed couples. After a few weeks, we noticed how often we referred to the seven-year-something . . . itch? pit? slump? The other couples in the group started nervously teasing about what terrible blockade may lay in their marriage journey. Is the seven-year-itch a real thing? If so, are you doomed to bump into it? And why does it happ...

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Why Does Sex Matter?

I can remember being a teenager, babysitting at my sister’s house. On her nightstand, she had a book about sex. I was intrigued . . . I was curious! I would never have admitted that to anyone back then, but in the privacy of her house I looked through the book. Asking questions about sex was just awkward and embarrassing. Librarians will tell you that books on sexuality are not often chec...

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The News and Sexual Discipleship

This summer I’ve been in my “writing cave”, spending countless hours finishing my next book about sexual discipleship, called Rethinking Sexuality. (The message of this book is challenging Christians to be grounded in biblical truth and equipping them to surrender their sexuality to God.) While I’ve been writing, the world has kept on spinning, and stories about sex cont...

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Your Marriage Should Be Fun

Someone once asked my husband, Mike, “What’s it like being married to a psychologist?” Mike answered, “It’s great. I get to sleep with my therapist.” In all seriousness, there are some very frustrating things about having a wife who is a psychologist. Probably the greatest drawback is that I always notice what is wrong. Remember the story of “The Pri...

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Kavanaugh: The Issues Beneath the Debate

Like most of America, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what’s in the news: Brett Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey-Ford. Regardless of the outcome, this story is tragic. Either a victimized woman has been retraumatized by this ordeal, or an innocent man has been slandered. Only God discerns the heart of each person. None of us will ever know what occurred thirty-five years ago amon...

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Why We Don’t Experience Victory

I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other women who feel similar discouragement in their marriage or on their healing journey. Why do followers of Jesus stay captive to sin? Why doesn’t God ...

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The Good News about Fifty Shades Darker

The second installment of the Fifty Shades trilogy just hit the big screen. We’ve had this conversation before - first about the book and then about the original movie. We’ve sounded the alarm about the dangers of pornography and other forms of counterfeit intimacy. (You can read a blog about Meeting Mr. Grey, listen to a podcast about the books, or read a blog on sexual junk food....

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