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I’m Single & Have No Sexual Desire

By Dr. Juli Slattery “I don’t feel sexual desire toward my boyfriend/fiancé. Should I stay single?” Let me introduce you to three different women who have asked me this question for very different reasons: Chelsey has been dating Drew for two years. They have a deep affection for each other and want to share their lives together, but Chelsey avoids physical dis...

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Kavanaugh: The Issues Beneath the Debate

Like most of America, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what’s in the news: Brett Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey-Ford. Regardless of the outcome, this story is tragic. Either a victimized woman has been retraumatized by this ordeal, or an innocent man has been slandered. Only God discerns the heart of each person. None of us will ever know what occurred thirty-five years ago amon...

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Your Spouse Doesn't Complete You

When is the last time you felt disappointed by your marriage? Notice that I asked when, not if. Disappointment is a normal part of any relationship, but it hits us particularly hard in marriage. We live in a day and time when marriage is presented as an answer for your loneliness, insecurities, sexual frustration and romantic longings. Marriage is supposed to make you happy, right? Your husb...

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Have You Forgotten Who God Is?

In the process of teaching about biblical sexuality, I have at times taken a critical look at traditions Christians have long held as truth. For example, you may have heard a recent Java with Juli episode exploring the missteps and harmful messages of the conservative Christian purity movement of the 1990s. I have also spoken into controversial topics including LGBT issues, mommy porn and cohab...

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Where Do You Run When Marriage Gets Lonely?

It’s one thing to be lonely when you are single, wondering if and when God will ever bring the right guy. It’s another matter for your heart to ache with loneliness when the “right guy” is living in your home and sleeping in your bed. If this is your reality, please know that you are not alone. Behind the façade of busyness and “family life,” many marr...

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I'm a Christian, in Love, but Not Sexually Attracted. Am I Broken?

Part of the outreach of Authentic Intimacy is fielding people’s real questions through email and at our events. Over the years, certain questions are asked again and again. Among other common questions, people want to know if masturbation is a sin, how to get past sexual trauma, and how to navigate sexual addiction. But lately, I’m getting asked a new question. It’s about &ldq...

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Learning to Be a Promise-Breaker

Has anyone ever told you that it may be healthy to break your promises? No, I’m not talking about going back on your word or taking your wedding vows lightly. I’m referring to a different category of vows … the kind of promises that people rarely acknowledge. Our most powerful promises are usually ones that we never speak and may not even be conscious that we’ve mad...

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Is Taking Care of My Body Part of My Role in Marriage?

Dr. Juli Slattery answers the question, " Is physically caring for ourselves part of our role in marriage and intimacy?"

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5 Secrets to Intimacy with God

Intimacy with God . . . what a strange concept! How can I be intimate with someone I can’t see, hear, or touch? God and I can’t go out for coffee or even give each other a hug. Yet we know that God created us for intimate fellowship with him. What is that supposed to look like? For many years, I have struggled with these questions. I long to know God. I want to be able to discern...

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Why the Word "Purity" is Cringy

By: Dr. Juli Slattery My teenage sons have recently introduced me to a new word… “cringy.” It’s how they describe my attempts to dance and many of my lame puns. But it’s also the word many would associate with the term “sexual purity.” As a ministry, we’ve shied away from teaching about “sexual purity,” substituting it with the con...

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