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5 Ways the Church Must “Step Up” in Response to Sexual Abuse Within Its Walls

A few weeks ago, the Christian world was rocked by a bombshell revelation. An independent report of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) documented a pattern of ignoring and silencing victims of sexual abuse within the denomination. While there were rumblings of trouble a few years ago, even the leaders who called for the investigation were horrified by what it revealed. Russel Moore, who was ...

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Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2

Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body. Sex, at one level, is a gift exchange of two bodies. I give my body to my husband and he gives his to me. There have been seas...

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A Challenge from the Song of Solomon

Have you ever read a portion of the Bible that gave you pause? As you read, you thought, “That doesn’t seem to square with what I think about God.” This has happened to me many times reading the Old Testament prophets or the book of Revelation, but I also have that response whenever I read the Song of Solomon. Yes, I know it’s a book about sex, but it still strikes me wi...

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Q&A: How Do I Talk to My Kids About Masturbation?

This question is from a parent, and it’s a very common one: "What information would you have for parents who are looking to address masturbation? Our 13-year-old daughter has recently admitted to touching herself and I want to be sensitive to the matter—not shame her, but to have a conversation about it. What do you recommend?"

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When Your Kids Look At Porn

As the mom of three sons, there are days I wish I could be parenting in a different era… one in which cell phones did not exist and comic books were more common than pornography. Yet we do not choose the time and place which God inserts us into history. Pornography and the many sexual consequences associated with it are a regrettable part of the fabric of our society. Unfortunately, I do...

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Why Does Sex Matter in Marriage? Pt. 1

Most of us have been told that sex in marriage is important. But why does it matter? For many of us, sex may just be “meh” or tend to cause more division in our relationships than unity. The reality is that sexual issues are always among the top reasons for marital conflict and even divorce. Many couples fight about sex, and they don’t know where to go for answers. In addit...

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6 Thoughts To Help You Discern Truth and Give Grace

Over the past several months, many of you have messaged our team here at Authentic Intimacy asking for my opinion on a recent book or controversy within the Christian community. Most recently, people want my opinion on the new film adaptation of Redeeming Love. You may have noticed that I’m not quick to write reviews of Christian books or media. Yes, I have opinions, but often they are no...

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"God Doesn't Care" and 3 Other Lies You Might Believe About Sex

I’ll never be able to kick porn for good! I hate sex. I’ll never be able to enjoy it with my husband. I’m damaged beyond repair. I can’t have a great sex life if I don’t have a beautiful body. Have thoughts like these ever crossed your mind? If so, where do you think they come from? Sex is a spiritual battleground. We can see obvious ways that the ...

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How To Help Little Ones Celebrate How God Made Their Bodies

I'm happy to welcome Francie Winslow back to the blog. You can learn more from Francie at her website. I was cuddled up with my youngest son on the couch when the well-known cartoon “Blues Clues” popped up on the screen. Along with flashy colors came a classic tune, “Ants Go Marching One by One.” But instead of hearing the normal lyrics that I expected to match th...

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Should You Tell Your Partner About Your Sexual Past?

Women often ask me about how much of your past is healthy to share in intimate relationships. How much does a potential husband need to know about your sexual experiences and struggles? How much should he tell you? This is one of those issues that relationship coaches and counselors often disagree about. Some give counsel that complete honesty is always the best policy—meaning that you...

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