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My Husband Won't Grow Up

On today's Java with Juli episode, Juli, Hannah, and Yvette talk about what to do when husbands won't grow up. In the course of the conversation, they mention a blog post that Juli wrote that inspired the podcast. That post is below. If you haven't listened to that episode, you can do so here. He spends hours a day playing Call Of Duty, can’t make a decision, and throws a t...

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The Very Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting

I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to movies. Mike and I are still very different. While that continues to create disagreement, we rarely fight anymore. We d...

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Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder

by Dr. Juli Slattery We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a key part of the Christian life, I think that extending grace is perhaps even more necessary in our...

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How to Have Tough Conversations

If you listen to our podcast, Java with Juli, you know that I don’t like small talk. Ever since I was a little girl, I have been able to acutely sense unspoken tension in a room. I’m anxious when I have a conflict with a friend or family member, and have trouble finding peace until it is addressed. Maybe this is why I chose to become a psychologist: The counseling room is one of the...

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God Says Not To Judge... Right?

Whenever I write a blog on a controversial sexual issue, I typically hear from people who remind me that God says not to judge other people. Whether I’m teaching about pornography, Fifty Shades of Grey, living together outside of marriage, divorce or homosexuality, some people simply write off what I’ve said because they think I’m being judgmental. The “who are you to ju...

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A Secret for the Guys

Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my needs?” While most of my work is with women, today I want to share a secret with the men. It is the same secret that...

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Sex is the Icing on the Cake

Growing up, I was never much of a cook. With three sisters and a mother who all cook and bake masterfully, I had no reason to learn how. As a wife and mother, I reluctantly accepted my role as the family chef. A few years ago, I attempted to bake a homemade cake for a dinner party. I measured all of the ingredients carefully, preheated the oven, and baked my cake at the exact temperature the...

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Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It

Pornography has gotten a lot of attention today as news broke of Hugh Hefner's death. Every life leaves a footprint – some larger than others. The founder of Playboy magazine has indeed left a legacy. Much of the world is celebrating the “sexual freedom” he introduced to our world. Instead, my heart grieves. I’ve seen the impact of pornography on men, women, and chil...

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I’m Single & Have No Sexual Desire

By Dr. Juli Slattery “I don’t feel sexual desire toward my boyfriend/fiancé. Should I stay single?” Let me introduce you to three different women who have asked me this question for very different reasons: Chelsey has been dating Drew for two years. They have a deep affection for each other and want to share their lives together, but Chelsey avoids physical dis...

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My Husband Isn't My Best Friend

Endless romance. Hot sex. Being best-best-best-best friends. These are just some of the idealistic hopes we pile onto marriage. There are good motivations behind each of these hopes, but let's just be real. It's probably not all going to happen. Though it is a wonderful thing to be your husband's best friend, I actually don't think that is necessary for a great marriage. In f...

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