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You Can Be Single & Sexual

Did you know that single women are sexual? That your sexuality has nothing to do with whether or not you are having sex? As ridiculous as it sounds, many Christians grow up thinking that they will magically become sexual when they get married. Singles are sexual beings created in the image of God. Your sexuality is not compartmentalized, waiting for marriage; it's integrated into all the...

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The Very Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting

I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to movies. Mike and I are still very different. While that continues to create disagreement, we rarely fight anymore. We d...

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My Husband Won't Grow Up

On today's Java with Juli episode, Juli, Hannah, and Yvette talk about what to do when husbands won't grow up. In the course of the conversation, they mention a blog post that Juli wrote that inspired the podcast. That post is below. If you haven't listened to that episode, you can do so here. He spends hours a day playing Call Of Duty, can’t make a decision, and throws a t...

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My Husband Isn't My Best Friend

Endless romance. Hot sex. Being best-best-best-best friends. These are just some of the idealistic hopes we pile onto marriage. There are good motivations behind each of these hopes, but let's just be real. It's probably not all going to happen. Though it is a wonderful thing to be your husband's best friend, I actually don't think that is necessary for a great marriage. In f...

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I’m Single & Have No Sexual Desire

By Dr. Juli Slattery “I don’t feel sexual desire toward my boyfriend/fiancé. Should I stay single?” Let me introduce you to three different women who have asked me this question for very different reasons: Chelsey has been dating Drew for two years. They have a deep affection for each other and want to share their lives together, but Chelsey avoids physical dis...

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Sexual Pleasure Isn't Shameful

God cares about your sex life. It may seem weird to see the words God and sex in the same sentence. Sometimes when I teach women on this topic, they have a visceral reaction to the concept of God knowing about their sex lives. Psalm 139 tells us that God is always with us. There is nowhere we can go to hide from his presence—not even the bedroom! Why is there such a disconnect for a wo...

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God Says Not To Judge... Right?

Whenever I write a blog on a controversial sexual issue, I typically hear from people who remind me that God says not to judge other people. Whether I’m teaching about pornography, Fifty Shades of Grey, living together outside of marriage, divorce or homosexuality, some people simply write off what I’ve said because they think I’m being judgmental. The “who are you to ju...

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How We Love Each Other

I grew up in a family of six kids, all very close in age. My position as “number five” out of six is probably a huge part of why I became a psychologist. My earliest pictures are often of me in a playpen observing family life. As teenagers, my sisters and I became good friends. We stopped fighting and began to really appreciate one another. My father one day said to us, “Wh...

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Being Sexy Has Nothing to do With Your Body

When I talk to women about sex in marriage, one of the most common concerns is their bodies. “I’m just not sexy!” Practically every woman feels like she is either too old, too fat, too flat-chested, or too plain to be sexy. We live in a world that has definite opinions on what is attractive and sexy. Marketers spend millions of dollars and countless hours transforming natu...

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The Importance of Sexual Discipleship™

For the past few years, I’ve been using this term “sexual discipleship™” to describe the passion behind the ministry Authentic Intimacy. I’ve noticed that when people hear me put those two words together, they are intrigued. Although you may have been discipled in your walk with Christ at some point, chances are, that discipleship never permeated questions about yo...

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