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What Submission Isn't

*The two-part blog series we’re kicking off this week is a sneak peak into what Dr. Juli Slattery has been working on ... a complete rewrite of her book Finding the Hero in Your Husband. Stay tuned for updates on when it will be released in 2021!* In my job speaking on topics of sexuality, I’ve had to address a lot of uncomfortable and controversial issues. But there’s...

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What's the Purpose of Marriage?

Recently, a newly wed friend asked me this question. “What’s the purpose of marriage? Sometimes I think of it as free sex and housekeeping. Is marriage just an arrangement of living off my husband financially in exchange for taking care of a home and making meals?” From a purely pragmatic perspective, my friend is right. Marriage is an arrangement of bartering goods and ser...

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Experience Freedom From Shame

I’ll never forget how I felt the first time I looked into the mirror after being date raped in college. I stood there naked, alone, and ashamed. I began to question God and His love for me. Soon after this moment, I cried out to God in a journal entry. I wrote, God do you care? God were you there? Were you there when her world fell apart? When he took her identity? When he took her...

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My Husband Won't Grow Up

On today's Java with Juli episode, Juli, Hannah, and Yvette talk about what to do when husbands won't grow up. In the course of the conversation, they mention a blog post that Juli wrote that inspired the podcast. That post is below. If you haven't listened to that episode, you can do so here. He spends hours a day playing Call Of Duty, can’t make a decision, and throws a t...

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How to Have Tough Conversations

(Presione aquí para leer en español) If you listen to our podcast, Java with Juli, you know that I don’t like small talk. Ever since I was a little girl, I have been able to acutely sense unspoken tension in a room. I’m anxious when I have a conflict with a friend or family member, and have trouble finding peace until it is addressed. Maybe this is why I chose to b...

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Resign As Boss: How To Help Your Husband Lead

This is part three of a three-part series from, "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited.” * As recently as a few decades ago, many Christian women believed that in order to be loving wives they had to limit their own personal potential. Loving and respecting a husband meant being essentially mute and supportive. In order to allow a man to assume the role of protector and lead...

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Q&A: Is It OK to Talk to a Good Friend About My Sex Life?

Friends who love us (and love our spouses) are an important part of life. Privacy and sacred moments are likewise important to your marriage. Can the two overlap? Juli shares three things to consider before talking to a friend about your sexual intimacy. Want learn more? Check out these resources: What's OK in the bedroom? (Juli's blog) (or check out the video) Java #192: En...

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Q&A: What Is a Better Way to Approach the Statement, "Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin"?

"With friends and family who are homosexual, the Christian narrative tends to be ‘love the sinner hate the sin.’ But when someone's identity is so interwoven with their sexual orientation, this message doesn't work. Can you share a better way of thinking this through?" We’ve all heard someone say it: Love the sinner, hate the sin. But is it kind? Is it eve...

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Q&A: How Can I Love and Forgive My Spouse Who is Fighting Continual Sin?

How can a wife love and forgive her husband while he is fighting continual sin? In our case, it's emotional adultery. How do I respond in love while I am hurting? There's sin on both sides - in him and in my heart, too. This feels like a taboo topic considering that my husband has not physically acted on these desires or thoughts, but I believe that sexual purity is not just physical bu...

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Q&A: Help! What Can I Do About Unwanted Sexual Desire That Still Persists?

"I've prayed and prayed for God to take away unwanted sexual desires, and they still persist. I'm starting to feel like giving up. Do you have any advice or encouragement?" Juli answers today's question by sharing 3 suggestions for those who continue to struggle with unwanted sexual desires. And her most important encouragement? Don't give up! We can encounter the p...

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