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What Should You Do If Your Husband Looks at Porn?

“Last night I walked in on my husband viewing porn. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I feel so violated—like I could never share my body with him again. Why should I, anyway? I could never compete with porn!” If your husband has been involved with pornography, you know the feeling of betrayal in discovery. You question everything: his love for you, your de...

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Masturbation: Is It Wrong?

Because my job is to talk to women about sex, there are few questions I haven't heard and haven't answered. However, there is one common question that I don't like to answer. Is it ok to masturbate? This question is a bit complicated because the Bible never mentions masturbation. I’m fairly certain that even in biblical times, masturbation was something Christians wondered ...

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Why Is Healing So Hard?

Tina and I met together for counseling several years ago to work through some traumatic experiences from her past. A year after our work together was done, Tina came in for a “check up.” She shared with me that within that year, she had undergone surgery, radiation and chemotherapy for breast cancer. What she said next shocked me. Counseling was more painful than what I have been...

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When You're Attracted to Someone Who's Not Your Spouse

The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also be a cheating woman. Relationship expert Bonnie Eaker Weil reported on ABC’s 20/20 her findings that more than 50 percen...

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Does Your Husband Need Sex?

In many marriages (but not all), sexual intimacy is very high on a husband’s list. In books like William Harley’s His Needs, Her Needs, sex is listed as the number one thing a husband needs in marriage. Many men would nod in agreement and tell their wives in so many words that they need sex; however, I’ve never known of a man to die because he didn’t have it. I’...

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Who Takes Out the Trash?

Household chores represent probably the most pressing “minor issue” in marriage for a lot of couples because it’s a conflict that never goes away. Every day, someone has to do the dishes, take out the trash, do laundry, cook dinner, and clean the sink. There’s no vacation from housework. Dust doesn’t stop collecting because you need a break. This means that if you ...

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Spice Up Your Sex Life During Quarantine

Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. When my husband and I were newlyweds, we committed to weekly date nights. Every Thursday night we spent time together—sometimes we dressed u...

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What's OK in the Bedroom?

Since I speak and write books on sex, I get asked questions—a lot of questions. The most common questions relate to "what's okay in the bedroom?" Questions like: Is oral sex okay? What about anal sex? Is it wrong to role play with my husband? Is it okay that my husband likes to spank me? Do you think sex toys are wrong? What's wrong with a married couple watching porn to...

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