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Drowning in Shallow Christianity

I recently met with a friend who shared openly with me about her struggles in marriage. “It’s like living with a robot! He doesn’t seem to know how to connect emotionally. Am I supposed to live the next thirty years with this man? Does God really want me to be so lonely?” I have heard echoes of this dear woman’s questions in so many other situations. My single f...

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What Should You Do If Your Husband Looks at Porn?

“Last night I walked in on my husband viewing porn. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I feel so violated—like I could never share my body with him again. Why should I, anyway? I could never compete with porn!” If your husband has been involved with pornography, you know the feeling of betrayal in discovery. You question everything: his love for you, your de...

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Does Your Husband Need Sex?

In many marriages (but not all), sexual intimacy is very high on a husband’s list. In books like William Harley’s His Needs, Her Needs, sex is listed as the number one thing a husband needs in marriage. Many men would nod in agreement and tell their wives in so many words that they need sex; however, I’ve never known of a man to die because he didn’t have it. I’...

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When You're Attracted to Someone Who's Not Your Spouse

The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also be a cheating woman. Relationship expert Bonnie Eaker Weil reported on ABC’s 20/20 her findings that more than 50 percen...

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Beyond a Happy Marriage

Within the past month, I’ve been accused of two things that seem to be mutually exclusive. A few women have made comments like, “Why don’t you ever challenge the men? Why is it always the woman’s responsibility to build a healthy marriage?” And men have written me with this kind of complaint, “The Bible says that wives should fulfill their husband&rsquo...

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A Secret for the Guys

Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my needs?” While most of my work is with women, today I want to share a secret with the men. It is the same secret that...

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Masturbation: Is It Wrong?

By Dr. Juli Slattery Because my job is to talk to women about sex, there are few questions I haven't heard and haven't answered. However, there is one common question that I don't like to answer. Is it ok to masturbate? This question is a bit complicated because the Bible never mentions masturbation. I’m fairly certain that even in biblical times, masturbation was someth...

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Sex is the Icing on the Cake

Growing up, I was never much of a cook. With three sisters and a mother who all cook and bake masterfully, I had no reason to learn how. As a wife and mother, I reluctantly accepted my role as the family chef. A few years ago, I attempted to bake a homemade cake for a dinner party. I measured all of the ingredients carefully, preheated the oven, and baked my cake at the exact temperature the...

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How to Deal with Porn Struggles When Dating

Dear Juli, I'm currently in a season of singleness, but I've had two serious relationships with godly guys before this. Both (not right away) admitted to struggling/having struggled with pornography. At first, I was shocked and a little disgusted. Talking to them, they admitted they'd never met a man who hadn't dealt with this battle and it opened my eyes. I realize now we li...

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What's the Purpose of Marriage?

Recently, a newly wed friend asked me this question. “What’s the purpose of marriage? Sometimes I think of it as free sex and housekeeping. Is marriage just an arrangement of living off my husband financially in exchange for taking care of a home and making meals?” From a purely pragmatic perspective, my friend is right. Marriage is an arrangement of bartering goods and ser...

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