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Masturbation: Is It Wrong?

Because my job is to talk to women about sex, there are few questions I haven't heard and haven't answered. However, there is one common question that I don't like to answer. Is it ok to masturbate? (Presione aquí para leer en español.) This question is a bit complicated because the Bible never mentions masturbation. I’m fairly certain that even in biblical t...

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3 Things I Want You To Know as I Launch a Countercultural Book

A book release. Normally this would be an exciting event. It’s kind of like giving birth to a child that you have nurtured in your womb for nine months. As this one approaches, my excitement is honestly mixed with trepidation. Over twenty years ago, I wrote my first book, Finding the Hero in Your Husband. I was a young wife and therapist, yet God was giving me wisdom to understand some...

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3 Reasons To Invite Women Into Conversations About Sexual Brokenness

by Joy Skarka I opened my door and there she stood. She was nervous. I invited her inside my home, offered her a cup of coffee, and we sat down on my couch. I could see the hesitancy on her face as she fidgeted with her phone. I asked her to tell me a bit about her story. My new friend was referred to me by another woman who had sat on my couch just last week and cried as she said I was ...

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What Should You Do If Your Husband Looks at Porn?

(Presione aquí para leer en español). “Last night I walked in on my husband viewing porn. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I feel so violated—like I could never share my body with him again. Why should I, anyway? I could never compete with porn!” If your husband has been involved with pornography, you know the feeling of betrayal in disco...

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Honest Answers to Your Questions About Sex

For this post, I'm sharing a partial transcript of a jewel from our Java with Juli archive, episode #132, "Honest Answers to Your Questions About Sex" with my friends Linda Dillow and Hannah Nitz. We opened this "mailbag episode" by talking about why I love my job so much: because I get to help women find answers to their questions—even questions about their sex li...

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Helping Your Husband Grow UP

We’ve written before about the growing trend of husbands who would rather play their Xbox or Nintendo Switch—or spend hours glued to ESPN, oblivious of your screaming child and leaking roof—than step into adult responsibilities. Whatever the scenario, the burden of “emotional labor” often falls heavily on the wife. If, as a wife, you find yourself here, how sho...

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When You're Attracted to Someone Who's Not Your Spouse

The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also be a cheating woman. (Presione aquí para leer en español). Relationship expert Bonnie Eaker Weil reported on AB...

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What's OK in the Bedroom?

Since I speak and write books on sex, I get asked questions—a lot of questions. The most common questions relate to "what's okay in the bedroom?" Questions like: Is oral sex okay? What about anal sex? Is it wrong to role play with my husband? Is it okay that my husband likes to spank me? Do you think sex toys are wrong? What's wrong with a married couple watching porn to...

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What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires?

“What do I do with my sexual desire?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do not feel sexually satisfied within marriage. (Presione aquí para leer en español). ...

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Sexual Attraction Isn't as Important as You Think, Here's Why

Within the past few months, several different people have posed questions to me about the importance of sexual attraction. - A young woman asked, “I am in a dating relationship with a great guy. We connect on a lot of levels, but I’m not sexually attracted to him. When we kiss, it’s more like kissing my brother. Does this mean we shouldn’t get married?” - A ...

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