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What Should You Do If Your Husband Looks at Porn?

“Last night I walked in on my husband viewing porn. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I feel so violated—like I could never share my body with him again. Why should I, anyway? I could never compete with porn!” If your husband has been involved with pornography, you know the feeling of betrayal in discovery. You question everything: his love for you, your de...

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Masturbation: Is It Wrong?

Because my job is to talk to women about sex, there are few questions I haven't heard and haven't answered. However, there is one common question that I don't like to answer. Is it ok to masturbate? This question is a bit complicated because the Bible never mentions masturbation. I’m fairly certain that even in biblical times, masturbation was something Christians wondered ...

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When You're Attracted to Someone Who's Not Your Spouse

The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also be a cheating woman. Relationship expert Bonnie Eaker Weil reported on ABC’s 20/20 her findings that more than 50 percen...

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Does Your Husband Need Sex?

In many marriages (but not all), sexual intimacy is very high on a husband’s list. In books like William Harley’s His Needs, Her Needs, sex is listed as the number one thing a husband needs in marriage. Many men would nod in agreement and tell their wives in so many words that they need sex; however, I’ve never known of a man to die because he didn’t have it. I’...

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Did He Pass the Test?

This morning, I met with a group of friends to encourage each other in our marriages. As we talked, one of the women described her discouragement when her husband failed to text her during the day about something that was important to her. “He knew my sister was going into surgery. I just told him a few days ago that I was really worried about it. It hurts me that he didn’t think...

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Don't Waste the Pain

Practically every conversation I’ve had in the last week has contained a phrase like, “These are strange times.” Strange times, indeed. Never in our lives have we walked through so much uncertainty. Our health, careers, and security all seem to be dangling on a precarious cliff. Regardless of how much news you consume, the future remains uncertain and unpredictable. As a...

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What's the Purpose of Marriage?

Recently, a newly wed friend asked me this question. “What’s the purpose of marriage? Sometimes I think of it as free sex and housekeeping. Is marriage just an arrangement of living off my husband financially in exchange for taking care of a home and making meals?” From a purely pragmatic perspective, my friend is right. Marriage is an arrangement of bartering goods and ser...

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Stop Trying So Hard!

Several years ago, I met with a spiritual mentor with whom I shared an ongoing battle with a particular sin. We had been meeting every month for over a year, yet I was still tempted by the same sin. I didn’t feel like I was making any spiritual progress! I asked her, “When will I stop battling this sin?” She wisely responded, “When you stop battling, you will have lost.&...

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What's OK in the Bedroom?

Since I speak and write books on sex, I get asked questions—a lot of questions. The most common questions relate to "what's okay in the bedroom?" Questions like: Is oral sex okay? What about anal sex? Is it wrong to role play with my husband? Is it okay that my husband likes to spank me? Do you think sex toys are wrong? What's wrong with a married couple watching porn to...

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Help! My Husband Annoys Me

“He slurps his soup, bites his fingernails and always leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. I expected the relational challenges of marriage, but my biggest problem is that I can barely stand to be in the same room with the man!” I wonder how many marriages are derailed by the little things. Living with someone will certainly bring out every annoying habit. Even if you know you ...

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