I can remember being a teenager, babysitting at my sister’s house. On her nightstand, she had a book about sex. I was intrigued . . . I was curious! I would never have admitted that to anyone back then, but in the privacy of her house I looked through the book. Asking questions about sex was just awkward and embarrassing. Librarians will tell you that books on sexuality are not often chec...
Women often ask me about how much of your past is healthy to share in intimate relationships. How much does a potential husband need to know about your sexual experiences and struggles? How much should he tell you?
This is one of those issues that relationship coaches and counselors often disagree about. Some give counsel that complete honesty is always the best policy—meaning that you...
I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to movies.
Mike and I are still very different. While that continues to create disagreement, we rarely fight anymore. We d...
Within the last several years, the sexual foundation of our thinking has undergone a major change. Basic assumptions that have been held for thousands of years are no longer accepted. “It’s a girl!” may not mean the same thing it used to mean. Maybe this “girl” will discover that she/he actually has a “male soul.”
How do we make sense of the Bruce Je...
Intimacy with God . . . what a strange concept! How can I be intimate with someone I can’t see, hear, or touch? God and I can’t go out for coffee or even give each other a hug. Yet we know that God created us for intimate fellowship with him. What is that supposed to look like?
For many years, I have struggled with these questions. I long to know God. I want to be able to discern...
Our nation was recently appalled to discover that a city government in Flint, Michigan has been serving their citizens poisonous water for over a year. When concerns were raised, government officials gaffed them off as isolated incidents. Tragically, young children have been exposed to lead poisoning which will likely result in brain damage and other long-term ailments.
Gaining much less pre...
This past year, Barbie has been in the news. For 57 years, this plastic woman has projected the ideal and unattainable image for American girls. The Daily Mail reported in 2013; a real-life Barbie would have “bones so frail it would be impossible to walk and would have room for only half a liver.” Over the past few years, there has been a massive outcry against Mattel, claiming tha...
Want to watch a group of women swoon? Tell a story about a husband who was completely spontaneous. There is something about the mystery and surprise of impromptu romance that fills women with passion! Anything from randomly picking up flowers to a last minute road trip "just to get away together." Romantic comedies and chick flicks have picked up on this desire in women- for a man to ...
Dear Juli,
I'm currently in a season of singleness, but I've had two serious relationships with godly guys before this. Both (not right away) admitted to struggling/having struggled with pornography. At first, I was shocked and a little disgusted. Talking to them, they admitted they'd never met a man who hadn't dealt with this battle and it opened my eyes. I realize now we li...
I recently read a book about sexual patterns among young adults called Premarital Sex in America by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker. Let’s just say that the news is not good. Americans are having sex younger and sooner in relationships, with more people and are ultimately experiencing less satisfaction in intimate relationships. As a psychologist, I can only imagine the emotional and spir...
