Sort By:

Q&A: What If I'm Not Sexually Attracted to the Person I'm With?

There's a question that keeps popping up in our inbox: What if I'm not sexually attracted to the person I'm with? Physical and sexual attraction wane over time. Physical and sexual intimacy can grow over time. In light of this, Dr. Juli Slattery shares her thoughts on the importance of physical attraction, yet how focusing too much on our feelings can detract from the intimacy t...

0 1

7 Ways We Unknowingly Sabotage Intimacy in Our Marriages

This is part two of a three-part series from, "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited.”* A wife’s greatest dilemma is that you want your husband to lead, but you want him to lead the way you tell him to. There is a tension between desperately wanting to build the hero in your husband and being too proud or afraid to trust him. And so we end up using our power to...

0 5

Q&A: My Friend Is Afraid to Date Because She Has an STD. How Do I Encourage Her?

"I have a friend who contracted an STD (herpes). She is in her 30s, and wants to get married, but is afraid to look for a mate because of her STD. What encouragement or advice can I share with her?" In this video, Dr. Jennifer Degler fills in for Juli and shares three ways you can help and encourage a friend who feels shame about having an STD. Dr. Jennifer is a clinical psychol...

0 3

3 Reasons Women Tend To Take Over in Marriage

The first in a 3-part series from "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited."* Author Margo Kaufman once wrote, “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” I’ve experienced this bind. Have you? I desperately want to build the hero in my husband. I want to see his strength, but I find myself too afraid and too proud to trust him. ...

2 7

Q&A: Is Sexual Sin Worse Than Other Sin?

I've often heard the expression "sin is sin," but is it true about sexual sin? Are there degrees of seriousness of sexual sin? Do you counsel the one addicted to porn different from the one who graphically fantasizes? If we confess our sin — sexual or non-sexual — He is faithful and just to forgive. Aren't you glad? Because in this life, you and I will continue ...

0 2

Want Your Marriage To Go the Distance? You'll Need More Than "Artificial Intimacy"

Here’s a little secret I learned a few years into marriage: I didn’t know if I really loved Mike until I felt no feelings of love toward him. The sense of “feeling love” had to fade away for me to be able to learn how to really love my husband. My friend, and this week's guest blogger, Gary Thomas gets this. If you're wondering if authentic intimacy can be kindle...

0 3

Q&A: How Do I Help a Friend Who Constantly Looks to Men for Affirmation?

As humans, we naturally seek affirmation from others. In this Q&A video, Juli helps us think through how things get lopsided when we begin to believe that how we look, or what we have to offer sexually, are the only things that make us valuable or worthy of love. For more on this topic, you might like: Java with Juli #358: Sexuality, Spirituality, and Why We Settle for Counterfeit ...

0 3

Can Shame Ever Be a Good Thing?

“Shame on you!” If you grew up in my generation, this is a sentence you probably heard as a child. You were told that you should be ashamed of the way you treated your sister, for stealing that candy bar, or for talking back. These are also words that I’ve probably never spoken to my own children. Why? Because I’d feel shame for simply telling my children they should ...

0 3

Q&A: A teen girl is hinting at feeling same-sex attracted. How do I invite her into conversation?

A 15-year old girl in my Bible study has started hinting at a struggle with same-sex attraction. How do I invite her into a conversation about it? In this Q&A video, learn why helping a young girl sort through same-sex attraction doesn't start with talking to her about sexuality, but with helping her understand her identity in Christ. Here are some of the resources Juli mentions: ...

0 3

What Kind of Lover Are You?

As women, we typically view sex as a way of expressing the love and intimacy we feel in our hearts. It’s definitely a challenge to be sexually intimate when those feelings of love are absent. For the first decade of our marriage, it irritated me when my husband wanted sex when we had barely spoken. From his perspective, sex was the way we could connect and feel close. So, we were at a sta...

2 4