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Why Does Sex Matter?

I can remember being a teenager, babysitting at my sister’s house. On her nightstand, she had a book about sex. I was intrigued . . . I was curious! I would never have admitted that to anyone back then, but in the privacy of her house I looked through the book. Asking questions about sex was just awkward and embarrassing. Librarians will tell you that books on sexuality are not often chec...

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The Challenge of Grace

We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a key part of the Christian life, I think that extending grace is perhaps even more necessary in our relationships with one ...

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My Husband Won't Grow Up

On today's Java with Juli episode, Juli, Hannah, and Yvette talk about what to do when husbands won't grow up. In the course of the conversation, they mention a blog post that Juli wrote that inspired the podcast. That post is below. If you haven't listened to that episode, you can do so here. He spends hours a day playing Call Of Duty, can’t make a decision, and throws a t...

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Your Kids Need Your Husband to Be Their Father

I can remember the day vividly – my invitation to motherhood. Mike and I were visiting his brother and sister-in-law in Madison, Wisconsin and I was feeling more exhausted than normal. I was a few days “late” but we were using birth control, so surely I couldn’t be pregnant. A drug store pregnancy test confirmed it. We had just gone off my husband’s health insur...

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Should You Tell Your Partner About Your Sexual Past?

Women often ask me about how much of your past is healthy to share in intimate relationships. How much does a potential husband need to know about your sexual experiences and struggles? How much should he tell you? This is one of those issues that relationship coaches and counselors often disagree about. Some give counsel that complete honesty is always the best policy—meaning that you...

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The Erosion of Gender and You

Over the past few decades, we’ve slowly been eroding what it means to be male and female. Recently this movement has culminated in normalizing transgenderism and the vilification of anyone who stands upon a traditional definition of male and female. Just last week, President Obama mandated that public schools allow transgender students to use the bathrooms and locker rooms of their stated...

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Coming to Terms with Sexual Desire as a Single Woman

“Just wait for marriage,” so I’ve been told. So I’ve waited . . . and waited. And as I’ve waited, I’ve begun to wonder, If marriage doesn’t come, what am I waiting for? I remember the True Love Waits talks in middle and high school. The message was that sex was bad outside of marriage, but once I found “the one,” sex was going to be incre...

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Help! My Husband Is The One With The Headache

Watch a movie or flip through some TV sitcoms and you will hear men always want sex. Men are portrayed as constantly turned on and trying to get their wives into bed while the women are typically shown rolling their eyes. Ask a group “What do men think about most often?” and their answer will no doubt be, “Sex!” When you step into the Christian culture, this stereotyp...

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The Very Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting

I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage, these differences created a lot of tensions. There were days when I wondered if we could make it with such divergent views on everything from money to movies. Mike and I are still very different. While that continues to create disagreement, we rarely fight anymore. We d...

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How to say “Yes, Yes, Yes!” after “No, No, No!”

As we round the corner into late spring, it’s wedding season. Although every new marriage has its unique struggles, some questions newlyweds ask are somewhat predictable. One of them is represented by the title of this blog. This question is not just asked by the bride who has waited for marriage, but also for those who have “tasted the forbidden fruit” of sexual pleasure a...

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