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Porn Affects You, Even if You Don’t Look At It

Pornography has gotten a lot of attention today as news broke of Hugh Hefner's death. Every life leaves a footprint – some larger than others. The founder of Playboy magazine has indeed left a legacy. Much of the world is celebrating the “sexual freedom” he introduced to our world. Instead, my heart grieves. I’ve seen the impact of pornography on men, women, and chil...

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What's the Purpose of Marriage?

Recently, a newly wed friend asked me this question. “What’s the purpose of marriage? Sometimes I think of it as free sex and housekeeping. Is marriage just an arrangement of living off my husband financially in exchange for taking care of a home and making meals?” From a purely pragmatic perspective, my friend is right. Marriage is an arrangement of bartering goods and ser...

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Thank You & Buckle Up for 2017!

The Bible records a story of ten men whom Jesus cured of leprosy. No doubt, all ten were joyful and grateful, but only one of them took the time to come back and thank Jesus. Beginning a new year is not only a time to plan for the future, but also a great opportunity to thank the Lord for all He has done in the past. As I reflect on 2016, I am grateful…grateful to God and grateful to...

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Four Christmas Gifts For My Husband

Christmas shopping for my husband is always a challenge. He's a particular guy. He takes hours to pick out a gym bag, and days to choose a watch. On my own, I never get it right. He's also the kind of guy who usually buys what he needs and doesn't wait for Christmas. Although I found something to put under the tree for him, the best gifts are ones I can't wrap. They are intan...

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God Says Not To Judge... Right?

Whenever I write a blog on a controversial sexual issue, I typically hear from people who remind me that God says not to judge other people. Whether I’m teaching about pornography, Fifty Shades of Grey, living together outside of marriage, divorce or homosexuality, some people simply write off what I’ve said because they think I’m being judgmental. The “who are you to ju...

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Thanksgiving Could Save Your Marriage

When we think about the holidays, we tend to dread the busyness and added stress that can frustrate intimacy in marriage. Most couples argue about bills, relatives and crazy calendars once mid-November hits. Instead of allowing this to happen in your marriage, I’d like to suggest that the holidays (Thanksgiving in particular) might be an opportunity to strengthen your marriage. One of ...

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What's OK in the Bedroom?

Since I speak and write books on sex, I get asked questions—a lot of questions. The most common questions relate to "what's okay in the bedroom?" Questions like: Is oral sex okay? What about anal sex? Is it wrong to role play with my husband? Is it okay that my husband likes to spank me? Do you think sex toys are wrong? What's wrong with a married couple watching porn to...

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Jen Hatmaker, Gay Marriage and What We've Forgotten About God

A.W. Tozer wrote, “The most important thing about you is what you believe about God.” There is a lot in the news today about what Christian leaders think about Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and gay marriage. Specifically, Jen Hatmaker’s recent comments have created debate and confusion. I’ve had several in the Authentic Intimacy community ask me to respond to Hatmake...

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What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality?

Can a person live a gay lifestyle and follow Christ? Is it even fair to ask someone with same-sex attraction to live a celibate life? Is Scripture’s teaching on this matter clear? Homosexuality is a divisive topic among Christians and in the broader culture, as evidenced by media coverage surrounding the Supreme Court’s recent decision. But this is not merely an issue to be debated&...

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The Cultural Problem that Trumps Trump

It has been a week since the revelations of Donald Trump’s outrageous statements about sexuality and women. I haven’t had much of a desire to comment even though this is a current event that Authentic Intimacy would typically want to talk about. My primary hesitation is because I have no desire to speak into this election. It saddens me greatly that the two leading candidates for...

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